Moneypenny
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MissDre- I think that’s a weird thing to say to you. Why is he telling you? He could mean anything by that. And what would he expect you to say in response? Kind of weird to me.
I have an update that is totally worth sharing (bc bullet dodged). So, back in August I dated a guy a few times- things were really positive, good chemistry, all that. I actually really liked him. He was about to start grad school as well. We kept in touch a bit after that but he basically disappeared after labor day. I let it go and moved on, never to hear from him. Fast forward to two weeks ago he texts me that, sorry he was MIA and wanted to see me. He’s suddenly all interested in what I’ve been up to. I tell him I’m basically busy till this past sunday, and so he says, finally on sunday morning, that he’ll come over to my place. (Umm whatever, ok- at least I didn’t have to go all the way to his place?) So he comes over, and we chit chat, and when I suggest going outside and walking around my ‘hood, he’s like, nah, I thought we could just stay here. Basically he repeatedly starts making out with me (which is ok), telling me he missed me, and tries to escalate things to, I assume, end up having sex with me. Needless to say, I’m not really feeling that comfortable about it, and put him off. And he also asks if I’m ok, that something seems different. We end up going out for some dinner, and then come back and he tries again. Then he’s like, “you don’t want to have sex?” And I’m like, no, not really. Because, hello, I haven’t seen you in over a month with no contact, I’ve basically mentally moved on, and this feels really skeevy! He eventually ends up leaving. Ugh. I am not a booty call!
Not only that, but I don’t think he wears deodorant.
How was your date, MissDre? 🙂
My date was just ok. I wound up leaving after 1.5 hours. We met at this hip brewery bar place that’s actually really good and a nice place for a date. It was packed bc there’s a huge convention in town, but eventually we got beers and found a spot to stand. The conversation was ok, just the usual small talk about ourselves, but he was just really awkward and it felt like he had low energy. Plus I swear he kind of smelled like bbq? I really just wasn’t feeling it, and at 9pm I told him I had to get going. Overall, nice guy, just not right for me and I was over it.
Ugh. I’m sorry Miss Dre! Sometimes I wonder if guys (or people in general) will act like nothing happened because they just don’t know how to approach the situation or what to say? Which is no excuse, but this has happened to me too, and it leaves me wondering, wtf? It just comes across as insensitive, at the very least.
What the heck, Miss Dre? What did he even want?! Why do guys do this?
I actually recently had a guy pop up after a month of being MIA. I went on a few dates with him back in August, and all was well, and I last heard from him around Labor Day. He also had started grad school, so I assumed he was just busy with that, or perhaps he met someone else (who knows. I just know I felt like the last time I saw him he wasn’t quite as enthused as he had been before? So I kind of saw the writing on the wall.) Last week, he texts me, saying sorry for being MIA, and could he see me. I said I was busy (I really was), maybe this week. He suddenly is really interested in what I’ve been up to, which is annoying because, where were you the entire month of September?? Then yesterday he texts saying he has finals next week but wants to see me and asks if he can see me tonight. Which is the day I go to a dance class, which I’m not skipping for this dude. I told him I’m free Sunday. I’m not putting up with this kind of behavior. He is not a priority.
I also have a drinks date tomorrow night, which hopefully will go well. The guy seems nice, so we’ll see, I’m not that excited about it at this point!
Other than this, I’m really not excited about any of the prospects I’ve come across online or on apps, and I’m happier just doing my own thing! Once again, it would be nice if something came along though, or if I could just meet someone out in the actual world, while I’m doing all of the fun awesome things. Until then I keep on keepin’ on.
@MissDre- High fives! 😛
But seriously, yeah. I’m pulling back a bit, just to focus my attention elsewhere on more fun and fulfilling things.
Hi guys! I’ve been lurking for awhile now, but I thought I’d update as well. Early-mid August I went through a busy dating period- for instance I had 4 dates in 3 days over a Saturday-Monday – and, well, it’s mostly dropped off since then. Which is good since I can’t keep up with that kind of schedule. I’ve gone on 5 dates with one guy (“T”), but in the last week and a half, contact has been sparse so I’m thinking things will fade with him as well. T is just starting grad school for an MBA program, and he relocated to my area for it. Our dates were great (chemistry! sex! lots of convo!) but school started about 2 weeks ago, and he has barely kept in touch. I last saw him a week ago, and he never even replied to my “goodnight/made it home safe/had a great time” text. So I don’t know what’s going to happen but I am not very optimistic about it.
I’ve gone on two dates with a second guy (“D”), which were both very fun, but they also felt a bit like friend-dates. I’m not sure what he’s looking for exactly. I met him off Tinder but his profile says he’s looking for people to do things with, yet he also paid for the dates we’ve had so far. Either way, I think we could at least be friends or activity-buddies, and we’re going to go to a nighttime museum event next week. Our text convos mostly consist of discussing Stranger Things.
Other than that… I’m still putting myself out there and have been spending time reconnecting with friends and doing fun activities with my book club, like Trivia Night. 🙂 🙂
I’m trying to keep from feeling too discouraged- it just feels like there has been a rotating cast of men who come into my life very briefly and then leave.
Totally popping in to say, MG, your photos are beautiful! You look so happy. 🙂 Congrats!! I have been totally tempted to just do City Hall wedding myself someday.
@hfantods I also had a similar thing happen to me maybe 6 years ago too- met a guy online, who asked to be Facebook friends. I remember looking at his page soon after, at night. By the next morning, he had unfriended me and I never heard from him again. Your dude was definitely a jerk.
Aw, well that sounds exciting, Kmen! 🙂
I have a semi-happy dating update? I went on a first date last night with a guy from Bumble (my first date off that app) and it was actually pretty nice. I had actually had plans to meet this guy last week but he had to cancel due to a previous plan he’d forgotten about, and I’d written him off. But then he asked the next day to reschedule, so that was actually pretty nice. Anyway, we each had a drink and talked for a couple of hours, and it was just a nice time. No real chemistry or anything, but it was just a nice few hours getting to know someone. I don’t think I’ll see him again though. But that’s ok.That’s about it for me.
Copa, I completely know how you’re feeling. (ETA: And you MissDre!) You are not alone!! And I’m sending you both internet hugs if you want them.
Oh my god, really? I hope he said more than that… I’m really sorry Miss Dre.
And Copa, I’m so sorry about that text this morning! WHO thinks that sending a breakup TEXT early on a Monday morning, without any warning, is a good idea?!
You both deserve so much better.In other news, my date on Saturday was fun. He’s a funny, charming guy, and I can tell he has a good heart. But I still feel… kind of meh about him. We had 3 glasses of wine at this cool wine bar near my place, then had some dinner at this cafe that I really like. By the time we walked back to my place, it was about 8pm. He was going to be meeting his friend about a 30 min drive away (a mutual friend of theirs had recently passed away, and he was going to go visit), and he had asked if he could take a quick nap on my couch. Which was totally fine with me. And then he invited me to cuddle with him. Which I was like, uh, well, ok. And then he said something like, don’t worry I’m not going to try to have sex with you. And I was like, Um, I wouldn’t let you! (Um, what?) And so we cuddled on the couch, nothing happened, but he did kiss me a few times but no making out happened. And then he had to go. SO. I just… I dunno. I should be wanting to at least make out, but something is making me go in the opposite direction.
Other than that, I have a date with a new guy, from Bumble, tomorrow. I’m actually looking forward to it. He seems like a down to earth guy, so we’ll see. I’m going into it just looking forward to meeting someone new and getting to know them.
Hi guys! I’m just popping in to say:
I’m sorry Veritek! 🙁 Hugs to you! I don’t drink coffee much, but I did have a cappuccino today at lunch in her honor.
@Kare- I’m sorry you’re stuck in the middle of all of the craziness right now- I hope you and your family stay safe!
@MaterialsGirl- your party sounds so fun! Wish I lived closer too!
@Missdre- I’m late to the party on what’s going on, but I feel frustrated for you. I also think your plan of action is a good one. I’m curious to hear what he has to say when he returns…
@Ktfran- this is more on topic for the morning letter, but I have to say THANKS for bringing up the gaping bra thing. I actually was super fed up earlier this week because my (old, probably stretched out) bra was doing the same and it was feeling super uncomfortable. On Tuesday after work I went to Macy’s and tried on a bunch of bras- wound up getting one B-cup and 3 A-cup bras, which look the same as the B-cup but whatever. (Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfiger with padding ftw.) No gaps, and I feel so much better. 😛I have a date tomorrow afternoon with a guy I feel pretty lukewarm about… Quick backstory: We went on 3 dates back in March, where he came on pretty heavy, and then he abruptly ended things because he wanted to exclusively date someone else. Ok fine, bye. Then in May, he got back in touch and wanted to go out for a drink. But no explanation about the other person or where he was at or anything. (In fact I thought we were just friends. Until he referred to it being a “date” and he kept touching my leg, which I ignored). We went to a baseball game, after which he said he felt like I had ignored him, both at the game and at the previous date. (I said, well, I was paying attention to the game while talking to you bc I like baseball, and you had my complete attention at the bar so…) In June I moved and had crazy work stuff going on so we talked sporadically, but he suggested getting together once I got all unpacked. So that’s going to be tomorrow. I genuinely like hanging out with him, as he’s funny and we have good conversation, but I just feel kind of indifferent. I haven’t missed him at all… which to me is a sign. So yeah. We’ll see. I know that, even though I have a fun time when I’m with him, it doesn’t mean we actually have chemistry/we should go out, etc.
