sarahbelle
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@Copa In the initial letter the LW said her husband was sleuthing her out and said that he previously work in background checks. Which I took as he was looking into services that are not just google, social medial and the public records. That was going too far for someone that you don’t know if they would even want to watch your kids.
So your check up was it a google search, social media, and checking the local government jail and public records or was it using former investigative services logins to get this information? In your original post you alluded that your husband used his background check abilities which would push towards using systems that the average person does not have access to or would have to pay per use. The first would be fine to check on anyone involved with your children I do that with any adult my child spends time with.
you are asking if it’s your place to tell your daughters coach that you were doing a background check without her permission on her and her boyfriend. With the initial intention because you wanted to have her and her boyfriend who you dont know watch your kids over several nights. They have been together for 4 years if he was assaulting her it would have been happening already. Are you around her enough to notice bruising, long sleeves in the wrong climate, or awkward movements if not I would not tell her directly.
Make a copy of the assault charges, and mail them to her at her work address to ensure he is not opening the mail, preferably from a post office not in your end of town (postmark might give you away). If you pay her by check have your husband address the envelope or print a label, and no return address.
If you tell her or let her know you were “sleuthing” or what the rest of the world would define as invading their privacy, because she would most likely turn you down to watch your kids overnight. Coaches and other adults you don’t know well don’t do that that is how they end up on the news or in jail. Either way if she finds out you are losing her as a coach and if you husband does this for a living you are risking his job.
We get it you don’t have kids and you don’t want to watch this one. You have set your life up to not have them around (hence the dog that eats kids for snacks). Yes your selfish, and yes your a bad sister/aunt for not helping out when you are needed but you know that and from your response your ok with that and are kind of proud of being selfish so own it. This isn’t your kid and you can and should say no because it is your choice and that is what you want. Choices have consequences and yours is your sister and Mom are going to be pissed. On another note though no one likes their kid all the time, and she probably doesn’t want to miss work to stay with her toddler. Not because she doesn’t like her kid but because she is an adult who values her job this doesn’t make her a bad mom or a bad person or lazy. Since you haven’t finished your clinicals yet, and have never had her job you don’t know that she can change her day off even weeks out, weekend nights are hard to get covered and you don’t know the dynamic at her job or the consequences of her having someone else work her weekend. Also until you have a toddler on your own dont judge how often you have someone else watch them, most likely you will have a different opinion.
So the sexy women on facebook is the thing in all of this that bothers you?How long have you been together? and How long have you lived there? You say he’s not an alcoholic but is at a bar 5 out of 7 nights a week, but he is not a bartender. So do you mean he doesnt get drunk all 5 nights either way 5 nights in a bar/bar setting every week is pretty much an alcoholic whether you are drinking or not. The kid doesn’t live with you and your boyfriend; he lives with his father, you also live with his father. I’m not sure why you had to wait some time to be at peace with the kid living there, your 23 the kid is at least 6 to be in school with homework you don’t say when you started living there but I’m guessing the kid was there first. Which means the situation with the mom has always been there and while odd (very odd)it is there set up, deal with it or move out. He is 43, 20 years older than you and I’m not sure if you work but he is gone for 8-9 hours a day with work because someone has to pay bills and then 5 more hours for nonalcoholic time at the bar, even if sleeping is only 6 hours at night, and 3 hours for commuting/getting ready/etc, that leaves 2-3 hours with you and his kid. So what is the draw to him, does he pay for everything you want (not need want)? have a magic penis? I don’t get it when I was 23 to date a 43 year old with a kid and a live in ex I would have needed the good landrover and an expense account at Louis Vuitton.
Update, Her husband didnt know she was threatening to sue or wanting us to pay for her hair appt. He assured us it was all their fault for grabbing a random comb on someones deck and using it and that they would not be sueing or taking any money from us, and that she agreed after she had calmed down. Everyone has asked for pictures, we didn’t take any, my husband looked on our security camera when from when they left but you can’t really see she has her hand over the back of her head where she did the most damage. We also got a tool box to keep the dog grooming tools in and have it labeled Dog Grooming Tools just in case.
Thanks for the feedback. I talked to my husband to see if he was willing to loose his friend over the cost, and he was adamant that we would cover a hair cut at no more than $50 and nothing else. He is going to text his friend and let him know the option and see if she was just mad and threatening to sue us or if they are serious.
JD – I got the comb from a craft fair last year the closest one I found online is this https://www.ebay.com/i/332541951287?chn=ps&dispItem=1 but instead of the second comb on the bottom it is flat with a dog sticker on each side.
