scorpio
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I second @copa – if you feel it just say it. I said it when I felt it in my current relationship, even though I knew he wasn’t ready to say it back to me. But I come from a family that says “I love you” frequently. I also share my emotions pretty much all the time, so I couldn’t keep it in.
Congrats @K!
I love getting updates on this thread and get so excited when I see someone has posted.
@TheLadyE – it has depended on the relationship, anywhere from under 3 months to 6-8 months. The one that has taken the longest is my current one and I would call this the healthiest relationship I have ever been in. We became exclusive and started to spend a lot of time together fairly early on, but we are taking it more slowly to progress into a longer-term commitment.I am so sorry Cleo, but good for you for realizing that you weren’t compatible. I went through something fairly similar last year, I was so sure he was the one (and he was so sure I was the one), but eventually we realized our personalities and who we were as people weren’t compatible in the long run. It also happened just before the 2 year mark, and was probably one of the hardest breakups I had.
Hang in there!!@ale I am sorry you are having such a rough year, so glad you blocked him. Honestly I think there are very few times in life when it is worth it to reconnect with an ex, especially one who treated you so terribly the first time. Keep him blocked.
@veritek – She sounds like a piece of work! I am glad you have the support of your future in-laws. If her fiance was smart he might want to reconsider what he is getting into!
@Copa – I debated changing my profile pic as well haha. As an update, last night he messaged one of my best friends, her husband used to work with him but they weren’t friends and didn’t stay in touch, but he knows I am friends with her. He said he has seen me around and wondered if I was single. I hate that she is getting dragged into this, and told her to just ignore it, but now I feel even more creeped out.
@hfantods – I say go to what you are comfortable attending, say you are only available at X time, and are excited to join them for dinner.Is this the time of year when people start to resurface? I also had someone I dated about 3 or 4 years ago reach out. We only went out about 4 times over a couple of months, and when I told him I wasn’t interested and wished him well he kept pushing for reasons why, and would then say my reasons weren’t valid (I was newly dating again and didn’t realize that not engaging was the best solution).
He messaged me via FB messenger last night (I had long since blocked his phone number) to ask how I was and tell me he hadn’t seen any new photos on FB for awhile, and that he checks frequently. We are not FB friends, and have never been FB friends. I told him I keep my FB fairly locked down and his message was creepy. He responded by saying “Creepy is overused, I was just wondering how you were. It is your FB profile pic, calm down.” I promptly blocked him on there as well, but actually second guessed if I was over-reacting for a minute. My boyfriend was over and assured me I wasn’t and said he is sorry that this is something women have to deal with on a regular basis.
I am still thinking about it, and hate that I allowed it to take up time in my head last night and part of today.I don’t think you are in the wrong at all, and I agree that sharing the least amount of details about your plans with her the better. Obviously share information that she needs to know, but don’t give her anything that cause additional stress or over-reactions on her part.
I think I remember you posting that you were worried she would be upset that you got engaged so close together, but when you talked to her she was happy for you, is that correct? If so, hopefully when things calm down and after her wedding is over she will realize she was being a bit of a bridezilla.
PS – your brunch wedding sounds absolutely lovely!
Congratulations!!! Your journey has been fun to follow, I am so happy you have found the right person for you. Can’t wait to hear about the wedding planning 🙂
Congrats @veritek33, and I really like how getting engaged was a mutual decision/discussion for you. So many times you see people get stressed over the waiting period, this sounds much less stressful and more of a mutual decision, which is a great way to start a marriage.
So happy things are going well @MissD.
I have followed this whole thread, and love getting updates on how everyone is doing. It must be interesting to go back and read what is essentially a journal of your relationships. I have only commented a few times, but I went back and saw some comments about about my now ex boyfriend and it kind of made me laugh. We really loved each other, but our lifestyles and values didn’t totally align and you can even see it in my comment.
That is a fantastic idea! I would love to go to a wedding like that.
I love my house, and was lucky I got into the real estate market when I did, but @fyodor and @cleo are right, it really does tie you down. I am a wanderer at heart and while I like having a home base, sometimes I wish I was renting so I could leave for longer periods of time, didn’t have the expenses of homeownership or the responsibility of maintenance.
I am not sure I would want to buy a house with someone I wasn’t at least engaged to. I own my home and when my ex-boyfriend moved in with me we had a landlord-tenant agreement. We shared some expenses such as the bills, groceries and things that could be easily split up if we broke up, and I paid for anything permanent in the house. If we had stayed together we agreed that when we got married we would buy another house together and it would be in both our names, but I wouldn’t put him on anything that had to do with this house. I am so glad we did it that way since we eventually broke up, it made things a lot less messy and we were able to cut ties pretty much right away.
