snoopy128
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I think a ball could be fun, but also a little awkward for a 2nd date. I think it really depends on your level of out-goingness and your current energy level (I know you have a lot on your plate right now). I, personally, would lean towards a more low-key second date, like the NFL game. A football game, to me, isn’t all that “go big or go home” for a second date. As someone who enjoys sports, a football game is almost like going to see a (long) movie. In that regard, it’s also similar to a movie as it may be hard to talk and get to know each other during the game. Both of those second dates don’t seem very “get to know you” sort of dates, but I also think they are quite telling of his personality (active, social). This guy sounds interesting. He also seems different than TT in that he won’t be content just sitting in bed having sex and watching movies, but rather doing more things (that aren’t just doing you!)
Just my 2 cents.
Yeah, I’m the one right now with the up and down job, but hopefully that situation becomes steady soon (waiting for a phone call about 3 jobs right now…..any time in the next 10 days…). I actually don’t have much of a timeline in my head, other than the fact that my IUD comes in out 4.5 years and it would be sweet if our lives were in a place then to start trying for a baby. He also started proactively managing his finances which was one of the things holding me back, so I’m kind of excited to see where our discussion goes in the new year.
It’s just hard to have a big talk. He’s a fan of talks happening organically, but I want to make sure we cover all of our bases!
Ack. Sorry to momentarily side-track the dating thread. My original point in the last post to ktfran was don’t be afraid to bring it up. Even if you need to bring it up in a joking way first. We used to joke whenever we passed a baby or dog that were going to steal them. Or I’d be like “I can’t wait to have 10 babies!”. Or when someone we knew got married I’d point out an aspect of the wedding I really liked “oh, they had nice hand-drawn invites, I think people would die laughing if I tried to do that”. You can bring it up in ways that aren’t “us” or “ours” ways, but that show you want those things and have had some thoughts. Eventually you can segway the joke into something more serious (as my boyfriend had to do to make sure I didn’t actually want 10 babies one day).
I think it’s cool to talk about those things early on. I think I was pretty upfront about wanting 1 billion babies (well, at the time it was a max of 5) and since then we’ve always used a joke to open that conversation. I think that’s the sort of thing you can bring up in “i see myself in the future…” sort of conversation that also includes things like travel and career goals.
On another note, we started our marriage/engagement timeline talks last night. We’ve had the “yes we are on the forever train” talk before, but never with any timelines or anything. But last night was the first “so, do you have a timeline in your head?” talk. We agreed to postpone it until after the holidays as the last few months have been crazy between me moving, me working and looking for a new job in a new city, us getting a puppy, and just generally getting used to not being long distance again!. After Christmas there will be more stability in our lives to talk about this. We’re probably 1/2 to 2/3 thru Wendy’s list…but..how did your conversations come up? I will always be the one to initiate these types of things but I suck at it.
I agree with the other ladies. I’m so sorry that it didn’t work out. Take the time you need to mourn the loss of potential, and then I hope you come back and re-read these posts and feel angry and realize you deserve better.
At 32-33-34-35, there are lots of great guys left who don’t have issues and who don’t throw up barriers. I’m only 25, but if I think of my most eligible single guy friends right now that I would set up a friend with, they are 32 and 34 respectively and are very much interested in dating people their age/life stage. This is all to say, there are guys your age, interested in moving forward in the way you do, who don’t have issues, who are upfront, honest, and nice people, who also have emotional intelligence.
Chiming in to say I love shower beers, never done shower wine (I figure the neck of a beer bottle is smaller so it decreases the amount of water getting in). But I’m a biiiig fan of bath + drink- be it wine, cocktail, beer, cider. I’m currently trying to track down a bath caddy wide enough to fit across my big tub (suggestions anybody? I just need to be able to order it to Canada). @TheLadyE- I highly suggest bath wine. @Anonymousse- what about a virgin bath cocktail? I believe Wendy linked some good virgin cocktails during her pregnancy.
@Ktfran and @saslinna, I also used to do the mood shift thing and my boyfriend was really good about calling me out and telling me to ask and express my feelings. So I get it, you aren’t dumb or bad at dating, but it’s hard to ask for what you want and express your feelings. Especially if you have been rejected for it before. But setting up a good pattern of communication opens really nice doors in relationships when you both feel you have a safe space and that open communication is valued. Sometimes those first steps are pushing yourself to say what you mean and communicate your feelings, and then thanking the other person for doing the same.
Yup. He was trying to gauge your reaction and you didn’t give him anything to go on. Luckily, you can very easily bring it up and let him know it sounds like fun and you’d love to go along if he wants.
Happy birthday Veritek! And that sounds like a nice weekend
@ktfran, I suck at getting my feelings out when it’s something big or important to me. I tend to rehearse and then when I want to say it, I have to turn to my bf and be like “i have to say something” and he knows that is his cue to shut up and wait because I usually clam up and it takes 3 tries to get it out. Even now, 4 years in, I have to use that technique sometimes.My brother and I are two years apart and we still get into big tiffs every once in a while. Mind you, we are still in our early 20’s. As a kid he was always jealous when I got to do things. He has this complex where he thinks he always gets less than me because I was getting more (allowance, later curfew, freedoms) than him because I was older. He still carries that chip on his shoulder a bit. I swear, he still has a running tally in his head of things I go to do that he didn’t (or that he thinks he didn’t get but should have because I did). He also lived in my shadow quite a bit. However, as we grow up, we are getting closer.
I’ve never given this age gap thing a lot of thought, but I don’t think I’d want more than 3ish year between my kids. My boyfriend and his eldest brother are 4 years apart and they aren’t super close (in a situation where family is all very close) because they were always in different life stages (never in the same high school or uni at the same time).
*Head Desk*
*Puts Ellie Goulding “Anything can happen” on repeat*
*fin*
I tried.
Stop replying. If you can’t do that, stop reading. Then nothing will bother you and you won’t have to be defensive and come on here and insult people and stir the pot again.
If you stop typing, people won’t have anything new to mock you about.
Easy.
Peasy.
Dear Sarah B, for the 50th time this thread, if it is bothering you, then don’t read it. I don’t mean avoid reading it for 5 hours. I mean don’t read it or comment again. Then, it will take it’s own wild tangents and die on it’s own.
Each time you come back and comment, you turn the focus back on yourself (especially with comments like your last one).
If it bothers you: Don’t. Comment. Again. On. This. Thread. Ever.
LIke not tomorrow. Not in 5 hours. Not when you wake up. Just never. Eventually, it will die (but not right away).
