Stonegypsy
Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
@MissDre
I’m not sure of a specific one to point you to, but if you download the app (it’s free) you can search by category
@Cleo That is awesome! Hooray for fun hookups!
@Sararosie That is exciting! Sounds like a heavy dose of NRE, which I have totally gotten after an especially good first date with a lot of chemistry
@MaterialsGirl Congrats on your wedding! Honeymoons are great. My ex and I just went and got a cabin and played board games for a week and it was amazing
@Kate Yeah that was this thread, cause of the guy who lied to me. A lot. His partner and I have since sort of come to the conclusion that it’s more likely that he’s a narcissist than a sociopath. I’m recovering and spending a bunch of time alone.Guys! I had a date with a Clark Kent lookalike this weekend. He’s really attractive and there’s definitely chemistry, at least for a short term fling. He’s kind of Bro-ish, but in a way that’s not totally obnoxious, just kind of dorky. And he’s very direct and straightforward, which I dig.
Yay for everyone having fun dates! And for Mr. Attentive being actually consistently attentive!
I actually did have a date last night, even though I’m still generally in kind of a funk. Really nice southern guy, lots in common. My kind of nerd. A little put off because toward the end of the night he said “Wow, I just really really like you” about every ten minutes. But apart from that, it was a nice time.
On the bright side, this all could have been sooooo much worse. @Kate your stories definitely put it in perspective. I was lied to, a lot, but not scammed out of any money. The only damage is to feelings, and that I can recover from easily enough.
@MissDre that is fabulous! Yay for Mr. Attentive.
I had drinks with the
PhysicistSociopath’s partner yesterday. She is a really lovely person. We spent a few hours comparing notes. I am still having a rough time. I’m so angry, and I really miss him at the same time. But I keep reminding myself that the person I miss never really existed. He was a character created to appeal to me. But it’s still rough. I’ve been trying to keep myself distracted. Lots of friend time this weekend. It’s terrifying to know that if he came to ask for me back I don’t 100% trust myelf to say no and remember that everything he says could be a lie. It’s easier to just not be alone. Just in case.
How can a six month relationship fuck with me this much? I’ve been in a lot of relationships of varying degrees of seriousness, two of them were actually abusive, and nothing has ever had this effect on me. I know that I will be fine, eventually, but right now I feel like kind of a mess and that seems ridiculous to me.
She’s giving him a shot. Monogamously, for now. I’ve told her to let me know if she ever needs a place to stay. We’re getting a drink tomorrow. Maybe I’ll at least make a new friend out of this. And she’s new in town, and I have a lovely group of nerds to introduce her to. I feel like she deserves better, but she’s been in this longer than I have, so I guess I get it.
This all does make it so so much easier to let go. I’m so filled with blind rage for both her and myself, there’s no room for sadness.
I am still just entirely in shock. I am fairly certain I’ve never been lied to on this level before.
You guys, I continue to find out more. He had proposed! Totally different stories. I definitely don’t feel sad about breaking up anymore. I am furious. I’m also stressed, and wondering (again) if anything he ever told me was true the entire time I’ve known him.
I thought he was conflicted and confused, but well-intentioned. Now I’m leaning toward ‘sociopath’. I can’t help but wonder if he was just fucking with me the whole time.
His other partner seems really lovely. I definitely feel like she deserves better than this, and I feel kind of terrible for her.
It all just feels like this whole other level of lying, and I can’t even think what on earth the purpose of it could have been. I have sent a couple messages since I found out yesterday and he has not responded. Either there are actually too many lies to list, or the coward is ghosting me.
@MissDre That’s awesome!
You guys, I am a massive idiot. His other partner sent me a message today and we started talking – she has been living out here with him for over a month. He has been lying to both of us, a lot. I am shaking with rage. I imagine she is too.
Had dinner with Physicist last night. And stayed up late. And drank a lot of wine. Like a *lot* of wine. There was some angry ranting. A lot of angry ranting.
I have decided to give it a shot, even if it’s a terrible idea and not at all good for me. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be able to let go or move on unless I at least try.
I might be a complete idiot. We’ll see.
@Nookie I don’t have to give up the idea of a primary partner. Just the idea of him being my primary partner.
@Nookie That is definitely a factor I’m taking into consideration. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to drastically change my expectations for a particular relationship or distance myself emotionally somewhat, and I’ve done it successfully, but I’ve also never been this attached.
So if I can really truly let go of the idea of having this person as a primary life partner, completely accept that it’s not going to happen, then this is all absolutely possible and could work out.
Otherwise, I am setting myself up for misery and will definitely not be able to really seek out the kind of relationship I want.
We’re having dinner tonight to talk about it. He says that the only real difference will be that we stop talking about running away together. Which I know is not true, but it’s hard to tell how things will really change.
What I’m thinking is that, if it really makes me miserable I can still end it. Giving it a shot doesn’t mean resigning myself to a relationship that makes me unhappy, it just means trying it on and finding out if it does make me unhappy.
Sometimes I feel totally fine with the thought of it, and other times I feel bitter and sick to my stomach.
I’m just really torn.
