In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
Now, the thing is, this isn’t really very upsetting for me, because it’s always been extremely difficult for me. I’ve had several sexual partners, and I think I’ve only climaxed a handful of times (although, honestly, I can’t even be 100% sure). Again, this doesn’t bother me… I still enjoy sex a lot, and this has never deterred me. Mark, however, took it really badly. I tried to tell him it was an emotional thing on my part, that I was feeling guilty after how things had ended with my previous boyfriend, etc., but he still felt like it was his fault that he couldn’t deliver. I really did enjoy sleeping with him, but it was almost like he didn’t believe me.
Anyway, the sexual part of our relationship ended, and I know him well enough to know that this issue was a big factor in it ending. This feeling that he wasn’t “good enough” or whatever even made its way into other aspects of our friendship, and manifested itself in little competitive, self-deprecating comments, disrupting what had been a completely mutually supportive friendship. Though I know it’s not entirely my fault that he took it so badly, the whole situation is still bothering me. Should I have faked an orgasm here and there? In future relationships is that what I’m going to have to do in order to protect my man’s ego, or should I just be honest with any guys about my difficulties in achieving orgasm? — Fake Out