It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Lost the Love Lottery” whose boyfriend of nine months decided he needed to take a break to “get all his ducks in a row” right after his mother won $2.6 million in the lottery. “I can’t decide if he’s legitimately feeling overwhelmed and needs a few days of space, or if he was having doubts about our relationship and this has provided a convenient excuse,” she wrote. After the jump, find out what the status of their relationship is today.
We talked every day during the course of the break and it really seemed like everything was getting back to normal, and he was working on getting his thoughts together. Then one night, a week after he decided he needed a break, he was cold and withdrawn while we were talking. The next day, he started chatting with me on MSN (I was at school) and I mentioned that I was beginning to get frustrated with waiting for an answer from him. He said “I’ve thought about it and I’ve made up my mind.” He then proceeded to break up with me over MSN (of all things!), because he had been thinking about when he would say ‘I love you’ and then realized he didn’t actually love me.
Needless to say, I was pretty devastated…I had (ironically) thought that he was going to say ‘I love you’ any day and a few days before the break, we’d begun planning a trip to Europe in June to celebrate our one-year anniversary. I feel betrayed and deceived (because I had truly thought that everything was fine), sad that he obviously didn’t care enough to try and make things work, and pissed because he’d ended it in the most cowardly way possible. After our brief MSN conversation, which ended with “okay, I really need to get going,” we had no further contact.
So, sadly, this didn’t have the outcome I wanted. I know that I’m better off without someone who doesn’t love me, but it was still a crappy and unexpected breakup. I’m still reeling a little bit, but I suppose the positive side is that now, wherever I end up for school in September, I can go there without feeling guilty about leaving someone behind. — Lost the Love Lottery
He broke up with you over IM? Man, that sucks. Stay strong, lady. This just means there’s someone better for you out there and one day you’re going to be glad you dodged this bullet.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.