Columns

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. I just recently read another column of yours regarding strip clubs and boyfriends, but the girl asking the question was not that worried about her boyfriend cheating. I’m in a different situation and would like your help. I’m older than my man and currently pregnant with his baby. He likes to go to strip clubs quite often, and I absolutely hate…

I am a 66-year-old woman who retired in December 2012. I was also an Associate Pastor in my hometown and living in a beautiful apartment loft, single and holding my own. I also have four grown children between the ages of 24 and 46. I had been divorced for a very long time from my first husband. We married when I was 21 and he was 24. After our divorce, he remarried and was married for 30 years until his wife died. He lives in a rural countryside in the Caribbean. He called me nearly three years ago, two weeks after his wife died, to offer me marriage. During that time I…

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. I slept with my sister’s ex-boyfriend and it was great, but now it’s a little awkward and he still wants to remain friends, and, well, when I slept with him, it was my first time. Should I tell him it was my first time or not? I feel that, if I do, he might shut me out while, if I don’t,…

We live in a lovely town in the northern New England area about two hours away from my sister’s family and three hours away from my aging parents. I’ve been married for almost eighteen years and have three daughters in elementary and middle school. I am extremely close with my sister; we are in business together and our husbands are BFFs who go backpacking together on several trips per year. She also has three kids around the same ages as mine. My parents have decided to put their house on the market and move north to live near me. They are in their early 70s, are eager to retire, and would like…

My husband and I have been married for 55 years. My mother-in-law, who died when she was 99, never liked me. She had two children later in her marriage, so her daughter is 20 years younger than my husband. The daughter, my husband’s sister, was brainwashed by her mother to believe that I was a terrible person. My MIL turned many family against me, which caused me great grief. My husband is 83 now and has had many illnesses, including cancer (twice) and triple bypass surgery. We have three grown children, including one daughter with a mental illness who lives with us. After all these years, no one in my husband’s family…

I’m 33 years old and I’ve been seeing my 48-year-old boyfriend for four months. At first he called frequently and we would spend lots of time together, but he recently moved his 17-year-old daughter in with him so that he could be a full-time parent and that has changed our relationship. He says she has issues with putting off schoolwork so he has to stay on her. This and her extracurricular activities seem to take up all his time now. Additionally, I have not met any of his friends, family, or his daughter yet. Even worse, he doesn’t call and show attention like he did in the beginning. I’ve talked to him…