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It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we have a first! We’ll hear not from a LW, but from the subject of a letter. In this case, it’s the sister of “Questioning my Sister,” who thought her sister was giving bad advice to her teenage sons.”Basically, she is telling them to choose a spouse wisely and treat them like any good husband should, but also to resolve that they can fall out of love with them one day, because eventually anyone you’re with might very well either…

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Scared He’ll Be a Schlub,” whose update was actually a comment she left on the original post yesterday but one I’m highlighting here instead so it doesn’t get lost in the shuffle (and because it’s also a call for advice, given some additional info). If you missed the original post last week, the LW is worried that her partner, who is style-resistant and unmotivated to shop for an outfit for an upcoming wedding of LW’s close friend, will…

My partner is stubborn and so am I. He tends to be a bit more defensive than I am and often lags with the requisite self-reflective capacity to admit when he’s wrong. I’m not sure that he’s wrong in this instance, but I also don’t feel that he’s right. I’m hoping you can give me some clarity. We were invited to a good friend’s wedding that has been repeatedly postponed due to Covid. This is a very close friend and she and her fiancé honored my partner and me by accommodating us in one of two tiny farmhouse cabins at the venue (the other cabin is going to the groom’s best man…

My boyfriend is 52, I’m 48, and and we have been together eight years. For the first four years we had a normal amount of sex that I was happy with. But for the last four years, we’ve had less and less each year. And now it’s maybe four times a year, always involving alcohol. I have asked all the usual questions, such as: Do you still love me? Is there someone else? Are you still attracted to me? And he always answers in the affirmative. But he has no answer for why we have no sex life. We are both in good shape and physically active. To my way of thinking,…

From the forums: I have a dear friend who has a similarly aged kid as mine (almost 5). I recently met up with her and her family after a long time as they were living in a different city and only moved to my city a few months ago. I noticed some communication issues with the kid — she uses no legible/understandable language, has zero eye contact, doesn’t respond when spoken to or only responds after being addressed many times, gets super upset without any visible reason, had an accident since she couldn’t verbalize that she needed to go to the bathroom, etc. The parents have withdrawn her from her daycare/preschool. It…

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. My wife and I have been married for ten years, but she recently asked me for an open marriage. I can’t say I love the idea, but I think I could be okay with it so long as it’s open on both sides. My thinking was that it’ll hurt if…

My sister left her husband two years ago, and he’s been pretty heartbroken about it. From his perspective, she is basically the woman of his dreams and the love of his life, and he is hurt for all the reasons everyone is hurt in relationships. I’m emailing because I’m concerned about what my sister is telling her two sons, both aged fifteen. Basically, she is telling them to choose a spouse wisely and treat them like any good husband should, but also to resolve that they can fall out of love with them one day, because eventually anyone you’re with might very well either not care about, or enjoy “tearing down/bringing to…

I started dating my fiancée, “Karen,” three years ago when she was 23 and I was 26. I proposed to her last month on our three-year anniversary. She has a great heart and personality (when she isn’t upset or angry), but she grew up unstable. When she was 9, her mother and father separated. Her father didn’t have much to do with Karen because she had been the result of an unexpected pregnancy. In addition, her mother abused drugs – and still does – and abused Karen when she was little. So, when she was 9, Karen’s grandmother and grandfather began raising her and continued until she was 20 or 21. They…

My spouse of 23 years was diagnosed with terminal cancer last August. In September, after starting chemo, she told me a coworker would shave her head. I said I wanted to do it, and she offered that, because he was bald, he would be best. She brought home an electric razor a few days later. When I saw it, I told her that this was a signal event and I could easily shave her head. I wanted every moment with her. She offered odd excuses. It got my antennae up. He shaved her head. I did something I had never done before: I went through her phone. I found she had been…