Columns

In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me: I’m an educated 40-year-old woman who runs marathons, teaches high school, has two amazing kids and has recently divorced. I began a relationship with a man who is not educated, who is a blue-collar carpenter, and who was fun and free-spirited. A year into our relationship, I knew something was off (missed dates, low on finances, roommate at 42 years old) but NEVER did I believe it was a problem with alcohol. I fell hook, line and sinker for this man (who, by the way, has…

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in three sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss a racist boyfriend, dating a roommate, and dealing with an over-texter.

I’ve been married almost two years. “Alex”‘s best friend “David” has a family member named “Steph.” Alex used to have a thing for Steph, although it never went anywhere. From what I’ve heard, they didn’t really go on a date, kiss, or anything else. Still, the attraction was there. Recently, David asked Alex to help him move Steph into her new home. Alex did it. I told him I was upset, and I later realized this wasn’t right. They were just helping her move, and I was being jealous. The second time, she needed a new couch brought to her home. Alex has a truck, and, again, David asked him. This time,…

I’m in my late 40s and have only been in one committed relationship, which last lasted three years when I was in my early 30s. I have been single ever since. I have weight issues, which men hate, and I have mental conditions. I suffer from Fragile X and Autism. I just pursued a guy who flat-out told me that he’d never date a mental health patient. Then he ranted about how he scored models at singles bars. This kind of guy is not for me. What can I do to find men who are right for me? I am musically inclined and looking for the same to date me, but I…

I met a girl on a dating app back in March, and on May 12 of this year (yes, within 2 months or so) we moved in together, along with her 6-year-old son. Since then, we have begun having issues. My girlfriend is bold and is unable to speak her position quietly and civilly at times. Most recently, she swore in front of our apartment staff, and not even a half an hour after that, the apartment staff wanted to have a sit down meeting with us about her behavior. Also, I have a best female friend who recently got out of an engagement, whom I talk to occasionally, and for a…

In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me: I’m a teacher, and I teach both English to non-English speakers and Russian to foreigners who come to visit our town in Russia. I have this student, a guy from Ireland who studies Russian, and I’ve been teaching him for almost six months now. He came to our town on a whim and he wants to get a permanent visa to stay here, though he only has a tourist visa now. Anyway, we’ve developed a friendly relationship and I’ve grown to like him a lot, which…

I got married this past month and my husband just found out I lied to him about my bachelorette party. (I told him I was going out with a friend, but he found out that friend wasn’t in town when I went out). He’s about 25 years older than me and kind of old school when it comes to sex and relationships (this is his second marriage, my first). I mentioned in the beginning of our relationship that I used to go to an S&M club once in a while, which freaked him out (he thought it was sick), but he seemed to get over it. He told me he would have…