Columns

I’m a 20-year-old college sophomore on the West Coast. In September I met a guy online and we really hit it off. Soon after we decided to meet. It didn’t take long to realize that with the distance and our conflicting schedules a good relationship was not feasible. We never really discussed it though and we ended up hooking up in the back of his car every so often when he was free or he’d come to my dorm for a few hours when my roommates were away for the night. After a little while, I told him I felt used and shortly after I told him we should probably call it…

I’m writing regarding my 21-year-old brother, “Jason.” Jason is a big-hearted person. He is creative, has a decent sense of humor, has good taste in music, and loves to cook. He’s also mildly mentally challenged. He is generally independent, though. He can manage his own money wisely, care for himself, cook his own meals, and care for our younger brother and their cats when needed. In fact, save for the fact that when he talks he has trouble getting his words out, most people can’t even tell that he’s any different. That, of course, isn’t why I’m writing. I’m writing because he wants a girlfriend. Bad. He was seeing a girl a…

I’m in a long distance relationship with a guy I met online. We haven’t met in person yet, but we’ve been planning to this summer. We’ve been “dating” for five months, and we really care about each other, but he doesn’t trust me at all, and he tries to control who I talk to. I really care about him so I try to respect his wishes, but lately, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with personal problems at home, and having to deal with the fact that I stopped talking to most of my friends for him. Despite this, never once while I was thinking clearly (and soberly) did I contemplate cheating. However, a…

“Jason” and I have been together for about three years now. We actually dated for the first time in high school when we were both very young, but we broke up and dated other people until we reconnected in our mid-20s.Last year on New Years — about two years into our relationship — he got very drunk and got violent with me. I wasn’t seriously injured but there was property damage. I pressed charges and we broke up, and over the last year he has attended several anger management programs including group sessions. He also quit a stressful job, got on the Dean’s list in school, got his own place and secured…

My fiancé, “Scott,” and I have been together for four years. We’re in our mid-30s and we’re very honest with each other about our feelings. We communicate very well and hardly ever argue because we talk through everything. But we’ve reached a situation that I cannot find a solution for. We’ll call her “Amber.” Amber and Scott have a several mutual friends from their childhood and youth group. Scott had strong feelings for her in high school, but unfortunately for him, they were unrequited. From what we’ve discussed, I gather that she was a girl who liked the attention and genuinely liked Scott as a friend, but nothing more. But she was…

I am a seventeen-year-old girl who is in a tight spot. There is this boy, “Tony,” who is smart, funny, super nice and caring, and has just introduced me to his family, who is also very nice. However, there is a slight problem….his face is not very attractive. I know it sounds horrible, and I try to look pass it but can’t. I am not judgmental, but his unattractive face makes him not datable. I feel embarrased to be seen with him around people I know and don’t want him to meet my extended family because of the way he looks. Should I end the relationship or just see if I can…

I’ve been seeing this guy for about five months. We met at work and started talking about a month after. In the beginning he told me that he was looking for someone to marry and have children with (within a year or so) which was the same thing I wanted. Now all of a sudden he doesn’t want that, and when I ask him about it he just changes the subject. My birthday came around and we went out and he told me that my gift was at his mother’s house and he would bring it to me. It’s been approximately two months and I still haven’t received anything. He asked me…

I have been dating my guy for over five years, on and off. I won’t get into all the problems of our relationship, but there have been many. One new problem we have is his views on smoking pot. I smoked a lot of pot in college, but since then I don’t do it much because I live in a country where it is highly illegal. I really enjoy it, but I only do it when I’m on holiday and, yes, I do it a lot on holiday. I’m not a big drinker, and I have never done any other drugs; overall, I’m a really “good girl” and he knows that. When…

In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me: I have been with my boyfriend, Gary, for two years and we now live together. Gary has been divored from his ex-wife for 12 years and she’s still bitter. She had an fling after 23 years of marrige to get out of the marriage. Their 30-year-old daughter, Elaine, lives with the mother and is getting married soon. Elaine recently called and asked Gary to dinner at her fiancé’s parents’ home to meet them. Her mother won’t be there — she met the new in-laws the week…