Columns

I’m a 37 year-old man and I’m estranged from my sister, “Rachel.” My father died three years ago and left a very large estate (think “Rain Man”) and gave about 95% of it to Rachel. I didn’t find out until the day he died, but Rachel knew it was going to happen and was executor of his will. She promised to give me my father’s old hunting place (it’s 45 minutes from my house and she lives in another state) but never did. I spent a lot of time there with our father. I stopped talking to her about a year and a half ago and decided to move on. My father…

I’m 40-ish, have been married for 15 years, and have two wonderful teenage daughters who are generally well-behaved and lots of fun to be around. My parents live 2,000 miles away and will occasionally (every other year or so) make grand gestures such as allowing us to accompany them to one of their vacation properties for a family trip, but other than that they have not made efforts to see us for the past six or seven years. The last time we flew to their home was on Thanksgiving Day. It was also my birthday, and my husband had to remind them. They laughed and said they’re used to forgetting my birthday…

I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for over two years, but I still feel that he doesn’t trust me. He’s met my father and brother, my roommates, my boss, and has been to both my old apartment and the one I just moved into, but he’s never brought me to his apartment. His excuses include: his roommates don’t like when people come over; the apartment is a mess; and he’s not sure what I’m capable of (aka, stalking). He’s Korean and I feel that he’s ashamed of me because I’m white – he also fibbed about his real name (he was “ashamed” to tell me his Korean name). Everybody says he’s cheating or…

I love to cook and have been doing it a lot more often now that I’ve moved in with my boyfriend (I cook and he agrees to do all the dishes). Recently, I was cooking dinner and he started eating candy, which irritates me to no end, and I said something about not doing that right before dinner and he got mad and sulked off to go shower while I finished dinner. As I walked into the bathroom he angrily sprayed me in the face with the shower head and said I was being really mean, before I had the chance to say anything. He then stormed off. I started wondering about…

My FWB is not just some random hook-up; we dated years ago but things ended for a multitude of reasons. I see him a few times a week, we do have sex occasionally but we also do “friend things” like go to dinner and rent movies. I know this time of year is hard for him because his father passed away around now a few years back and I would like to get him something to cheer him up. I’m just wondering what your opinion is on getting gifts for your FWB? — Gifty FWB

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in three sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss house guest etiquette, gift-giving etiquette, and plain ol’ dating etiquette.