“Am I Crazy for Starting a Long Distance Relationship with a Recovering Alcoholic?”

I have been involved with a guy for about a year and a half now and we’ve always had a pretty complicated relationship. We met a couple summers ago when I came home from college and had a casual fling until I went back to school. We continued to hook up over the next year whenever I came home for holidays, etc. but we didn’t really keep in touch otherwise and were by no means committed. Then when I graduated, I moved back home and we became official for about three months. During that time, I realized that he was a pretty serious alcoholic and ended the relationship as a result. Then…

“I’m a Baffled Bridesmaid”

My best friend is getting married at the end of October and is obviously, VERY excited. She got engaged in December and by January 31st had everything planned and paid for, including her dress, the venue, reception details, DJ, etc. Then she found out she’s pregnant. Her due date is exactly one month before her wedding. This is her first child and I don’t think she realizes what having a newborn will be like, or what kind of complications might arise during the birth and following weeks. Her mom is pushing her to move the wedding date back a couple months but my friend won’t consider it. She even thinks her dress…

“I’ve Fallen for My FWB”

It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in three sentences or less, because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss what to do when you fall for an FWB, dating an ex’s friend, and loaning a significant other money.

“When Should I Tell Guys I Was Raped as a Virgin?”

I was raped about a year ago, as a virgin, at age 20. At 21, I still have yet to have consensual sex. At first, I was very affected by the rape, but a year later, I just want to put it behind me and have a normal sex life. I wast a virgin not for religious or moral reasons, but simply because I had not yet had a serious relationship. I really want to start having sex; I have a high libido and feel that I am missing out on something great, but I have been hesitant to get intimate with guys, because I’m afraid I will scare them away if…

What Lessons Have You Learned From Your Breakups?

I read an article the other day on the Huffington Post where women in their 40s share with women in their 20s the wisdom they gained from terrible breakups. The words of wisdom are great — “Like yourself more than you need someone to like you.” “Jealousy is not a form of love, it’s a form of control.” “Don’t confuse attraction with love.” — but do women really need to reach 40 before they can dispense, let alone gain, wisdom like that? I think not, otherwise my career as an advice columnist in her mid-30s is pretty screwed. No, I think regardless of your age, there are lots of lessons to be…

“We’ve Broken Up Without Really Breaking Up”

I’m 29 and my 40 year old boyfriend broke up with me a couple of weeks ago. To make a long story short, he misinterpreted a comment I made and in turn decided he no longer wanted to be in a relationship. Since then, we have been talking almost every day and have seen each other a couple of times. Even though he maintains that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, when we are together it feels like we never broke up. We spent Valentine’s Day together and he said he couldn’t imagine not spending it with me, and that I make his house feel like a home. He even…

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