“My Husband Told Me Not to Blog About Our Marriage”

I’m feeling confused about whether or not my husband’s recent request/actions are out of control or out of concern for his own pride. I recently made the transition from a full-time career woman to a stay-at-home mom (my choice completely to stay at home with my youngest child). I suffer from a number of mental health issues – OCD, anxiety, and slight depression, for which I receive regular therapy. I’ve worked my entire life, so this transition from the working world, where I had a pretty well-respected job, to staying at home has been a difficult one for me. One of the things I thought may give me a bit of a…

“How Do You Know If You Love Someone?”

I’m currently dating a guy whom I’ve known for seventeen years. We have always been in other relationships and this is the first time that we have both been single and able to see if we are compatible, etc. We have been seeing each other for a little over four months. He spends almost every night at my house, we spend a lot of time together, and we get along great. But neither of us has said “I love you.” I felt like saying it a few times but didn’t, and then the moment passed. We were both in long-term relationships before and we have known each other for so long that…

Updates: “Parent Trapped” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Parent Trapped” who wrote in in the fall of 2016, when her boyfriend of a year asked her to move in with him and his mom–a boyfriend who treated her son like crap while he supported her through the financial mess she found herself in. “She had a run-in with identity theft a few years ago, and since then she has not used her social security number. Everything she has her boyfriend pays for or it’s in…

Quickies: “He Has a Girlfriend. Should I Stop Texting Him?”

I recently found an old boyfriend — “John” — on Facebook. We dated twenty-five years ago when I was a teenager and we always had a great connection, but for whatever reason timing never seemed to work out and we parted ways. I had thought about him over the years, many, many times, and tried to find him online but was unsuccessful until a couple of months ago when I found him on Facebook, I sent him a message, and we began texting. Before I continue, I should tell you that I’m married (not happily) and until recently John lived with his longterm girlfriend. She recently moved out, but they are still…

Quickies: “My Ex Has a New Girlfriend But Still Sleeps With Me”

I met my now ex-fiancé about two years ago. He quickly moved in with me and my son because the couple he was living with got evicted. About three months into our relationship we found out that we were having a baby — my second child and his first biological one. (Even though we aren’t together, he still considers my son his son.) When I was around five months pregnant with our little girl, my ex rounded up the help of my son and proposed. He was the best man I had ever been with. I never had to worry about other women, and he was always so loving and affectionate. Then…

“How Do I Find Meaning in Life Without a Wife and Kids?”

I’m a 49-year-old man who has never been married and has no children. I’ve been told I’m handsome, quite intelligent, and kind. I’m educated, responsible, and self-sufficient. I own my own home and have a good job. I’m a normal person who grew up in a loving home. From my late 20s, I always wanted to marry but had issues with attachment. I have an avoidant attachment style which my therapist believes has prevented me from having a life partner. I’m attracted to women and I have no issues dating them and being intimate, but a long-term relationship proved to be more difficult and I’m working with my therapist to overcome this….

“He’s Afraid His Bi-Polar Ex Will Petition for Custody If He Introduces Me To Their Son”

I’m trying to figure out how to decide whether something is a deal breaker for me, and I could really use some objective advice. I met John two years ago through mutual friends, and we have been dating for almost a year now. This relationship is honestly the best I’ve had in terms of our connection and compatibility. We have shared hobbies, we can talk for hours about anything, and our physical connection is unlike any I’ve had before. John has met my family, and we have spent holidays together. If this were the whole picture, I’d be over the moon happy. The issue comes from John’s family situation – he has…

Shortcuts: “My Mother-In-Law Keeps Bringing Us Unwanted Food”

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to…

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