“My Husband Wants to Go To a Destination Bachelor Party Two Weeks Before Our Baby’s Due”

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. I have been with my husband for about six years and we are expecting our first child at the end of next month. Our close friends are getting married in a different city the day before my due date, so, since my husband cannot go to the wedding, he really…

“Is a Cross-Global Relationship with a New Parent Realistic?”

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about three months. We’ve been close friends for about one year. I am from Latin America, he’s European, we’re both 30, and we’re in his home country. When we started hanging out six months ago, he told me he had broken up with his first girlfriend some months before and he was still processing that, so we remained friends until he was ready to move on. Before anything serious happened between us, he told me that he’s going to be a father. He had a hook-up and they used a condom, but there was an accident. He suggested taking the day-after pill, but she said it…

Morning Quickie: “Is He Selfish or Am I Too Needy?”

I am a 46-year-old woman who has been involved with a 55-year-old guy, “Craig,”for the past two years. He has two gorgeous kids, ages seven and twelve, and was together with their mother for twelve years but never married. I was married for ten years and have a son who is in the last year of school. I absolutely adore Craig and miss him when I am not with him. However, he is either incredibly selfish of late or maybe I am just being too needy. He is continuously flying from South Africa, where we live, to the UK or other locations for three days at a time for car shows. That’s…

Shortcuts: “My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want to Be My Kids’ Stepdad”

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to…

Your Turn: “How Do We Keep My Dying Father’s Mistress Away?”

My father was diagnosed with testicular cancer about three years ago and we were recently given the news that he has a matter of months to live. My parents had an arranged marriage before they moved to Canada. Around twenty years ago my father started an affair with a Canadian woman. It is an open secret in my family, but the rest of our community doesn’t know. My brother and I had a happy childhood in which our father was always there when we went to bed and when we woke up. He never missed any holiday or event in my life. His mistress, though, has become more and more tiresome. She…

Morning Quickie: “Should I Fire My Bridesmaid?”

After I got engaged in December, I immediately asked five of my close friends to be in my wedding and all accepted. One of those friends, “Julia,” was a former roommate until I moved out of our apartment a year and a half ago due to a pregnancy. I did her a favor by letting her keep our cable in my name for one more year since she couldn’t come up with the $300 deposit to switch it over to her name, plus I was pregnant and had other things to worry about and didn’t have time to continue going back and forth with her on the topic. She and her new…

“How Do We Get My Husband’s Toxic Stepmother Out of Our Lives?”

My husband and I got married almost a year ago, and it’s been quite a whirlwind. Our relationship with his mother had been getting increasingly toxic after we got engaged and particularly after the wedding. We had moved to her city two years ago, but because of her toxicity, uncertainty with our careers, and general dislike for the city, we decided to move to where my husband’s father and stepmother lived; it had great career prospects, was significantly closer to my family, and, most importantly, the in-laws were ecstatic about the idea. We lined up jobs, packed up our apartment, and moved. At my father-in-law’s insistence, we moved in the upstairs of…

Morning Quickie: “Am I Too Pretty For Him?”

For the past two years, I have been in a relationship with an overall great guy. He is thoughtful, supportive, and ambitious. The problem is I just am not attracted to him. Setting physical attraction aside, sex is a nightmare for me. I have sex to please him, and him only. I compliment him because I know he struggles with confidence, and I don’t like to think my displeasure makes it worse for him. But, honestly, just kissing him repulses me. I know I must sound like a total bitch, but I am typically not a shallow person. It really became apparent for me when others noticed too. My family and friends…

“How Should I Offer To Financially Help My Boyfriend?”

I recently got a job which pays me almost twice what my live-in boyfriend makes. He’s got some student loans that he has to pay off, and he’s afraid to go back to school and accrue even more loans. We’ve only been together eight months, but we’ve not seen any red flags at this point, and we’ve got a joint cell phone line. We’ve discussed moving out of state together and we know we’re signing our next lease together, but we’re still in our early twenties and, though we have similar ideas of what we’d like our lifestyles to look like later on in life, it’s not as if we’ve discussed lifelong…

“My Girlfriend Says Her Exes Are Hotter Than I Am”

I recently found out that my girlfriend of eighteen months thinks that the multiple guys she dated before me are hotter than I am and have better bodies than mine. This upsets me and is exacerbated by my lack of trust for my partner. In the early part of our relationship, we were more on and off. In the “off” periods she would see those hotter exes — as well as other men — and lied to me about them. She even slept with one of these hotter exes, too. She also had a fling with her gym instructor and she kissed loads of guys she met on multiple dating sites, which I…

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