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My younger sibling came out as a pansexual trans man a few years ago. My family took the news extremely well and has been supportive of him. He has saved up enough money to have his top surgery soon. I am torn between being there for him during his surgery and keeping my distance because of our tense relationship. There are multiple factors to our relationship. As an immigrant family, my parents relied on me to take care of my younger siblings. I became the “third parent” to my younger siblings. My family also sees me as the “successful” one while my brother is the “black sheep,” which leads to unfair comparisons…

About two months ago I met this guy online and we really hit it off. I have never felt about anyone else the way I feel for him, which is saying something, considering I have been in long-term relationships before. He wasn’t ready to be official, which I understood considering he was divorced less than a year ago and he had not wanted to get divorced. We had so much fun together, and we had about 15+ dates lined up. Sometimes he would just hold me in his arms, look at me, and smile. In moments like that, we didn’t need to talk. It was magical. Six days after our last date,…

I’m 47 and divorced within the last year from a man I met when I was 14. We married other people, divorced, ended up together eight years ago, and were married six years. I thought he was the love of my life, but the relationship became very toxic and, at times, verbally and physically abusive. I lost my mom two years ago and was so consumed in my grieving process that I let my thoughts about leaving my husband fall to the side. Fast forward a year to March of 2015 and an old friend whom I dated when I was 18 re-entered my life. I started an affair that my husband…

Recently, I found out that my boyfriend, “Nick,” whom I’ve been living with for four months now, still keeps in touch with his ex-girlfriend, “Karen,” to find out how her two-year-old daughter, “Amy,” is doing. Nick and Karen had been dating for a while when Karen got pregnant. Nick believed the baby was his and was with Karen though her pregnancy and for a few months after Amy was born, until Nick’s sister became suspicious of Karen’s relationship with her ex and convinced Nick to have a paternity test done. It turned out that Amy wasn’t Nick’s biological daughter and that Karen had cheated on him with her ex. Nick tried to…

New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. I recently started dating this guy, Jack, whom I’ve known for a few years. I’ve been divorced for four years and have one child, and he is separated but still legally married (they are not separated because of me). His ex has taken their kids and moved to another state….