Happy Lurker Introduction Day!
Guess what today is?! It’s Lurker Introduction Day (Take 5), a day when lurkers on this website are invited to come out of hiding and show themselves. It’s also a day I totally made up. But, look, I know what it’s like. I’ve been before, and am, a lurker on different sites. You read along for weeks or maybe months (maybe even years??) without ever having an intention to NOT participate — it just sort of happens that way. You might have things to say in the comments, but they’ve already been said a dozen or so other ways by other people — people who comment all the time. Or, maybe you’re kind of shy. Or maybe you can’t think of a good user name. Or you don’t want to leave any digital breadcrumbs to your real identity. I don’t know. I guess lurkers all have their reasons. But maybe if you’re specifically invited to come out and introduce yourselves and participate in our conversations, those reasons won’t seem as important.
So here it is: an introduction to you lurkers to come introduce yourselves (and start commenting if you want). Tell us who you are and what your story is and how long you’ve been lurking in the shadows. Come out in the light and let us get a good look atcha, why don’t you? We’re a friendly bunch (mostly) and would love to hear from you.
[Check out previous Lurker Introduction Days here and here and here and here!]
I’ll start. 🙂 I’m Katy, and I’ve been a fan since you were at the Frisky. I work full time and have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and a baby due in less than a month, so your website is much-needed break from the craziness that is my life. Thank you!
Hi Katy 🙂 That sounds exhausting! I hope you have a safe and healthy delivery!
Thank you!
I’m a mostly lurker! Sometimes I start threads when in need of advice because I think the readers are so damn smart. I’m getting married in three months…!
Yay! Congratulations 🙂 Try to relax and enjoy it.
I’m getting married in 3 months too!
Woo woo! Thanks, ladies! va-in-ny, Congrats! I’m also in NY (NYC) — whereabouts are you getting married? We are heading up to the Catskills for ours.
We’ll be out on Long Island – Wedding planning has been driving me nuts these days, I hope it gets better and more fun soon!
Congrats on your pending nuptials!
I’m Becky, I’m an attorney and have been reading you for several years – even wrote in once and got some very enlightening responses from both you and you readers. So thank you for that. I have a 15-year-old daughter, a husband who is also an attorney, an a mother in hospice care, so my life is stressful. But reading columns like yours always helps to put things in perspective.
I’ve introduced myself in a previous Lurker Introduction but have mostly gone back to lurking since then. I’ve 30 and live in the DC area with my two cats and pit bull mix. Recently, I purchased a pawdicure pen for my dog but she really doesn’t like her nails touched. So I’ve been waiting until she falls asleep to swipe a line or two on a nail. I figure in a month or two, she may finally get to a full pawdicure.
If this is the Kicia who came to a couple of DC meetups, I remember you 🙂 We should do another DC meetup this summer! Although I think a lot of the DC people from previous meetups have gone into lurking as well…
Oh and I remember there was some situation with a roommate/renter? I don’t remember specifics, but I hope that all got figured out!
Yes that was me! As well as the situation with the unstable roommate/renter. She did end up moving out when she said she would so fortunately, the situation didn’t get as bad as it could have. And I’m definitely up for another DC meet up! I need reasons to get out of the house and socialize since I live alone now.
I’m so glad she moved out! I can’t imagine being in a situation like that. I mean, I’ve heard of some not so great roommates in DC, but she took the cake.
Another DC person who’s slipped into lurking here! We definitely need to do a summer meetup.
I remember you too, ladybug! Yay to all the DC folks!
Ok, let’s def make a DC meetup happen. I’ll start a meetup forum thread so we can figure something out there… 🙂 Hopefully another past DWer who just got married will join too?
Good luck with the pawdicure. Even though it makes hardly any noise my dogs are terrified of it. Like shaking in a corner scared. My female hates her toes being touched so I thought it would help. We did find that if we muzzle her she relaxes a little and lets us clip her nails witch clippers.
witch clippers or with clippers, whatever! I apparently can’t type today.
Oh these aren’t the clippers (although my dog does hate having her nails trimmed). This is the polish pen to color her nails. So not even a chance of it hurting but she still doesn’t like it.
http://www.amazon.com/Warren-London-Pawdicure-Polish-Nail/dp/B004R4I2K0/
Ahhh! ok haha. My dogs would not like that either 😛 We tried the pedicure thing because clipping their nails was so awful. Good luck painting her nails! Does she have pink?
I went in to a pet store to try to find that pawdicure pen, but I couldn’t remember the name and ended up asking for the “Pedi-file” (say that 3 times fast!) It was embarrassing.
Ok, firstly I know I am not typical of the DW demographic. But bear with me.
Many years ago I was planning our first trip to Chicago and thought I might get some insider tips from local Chicago bloggers. That idea was a bust but while I was leaping from blogroll to blogroll I came across a certain red-haired City Wendy…and she was pretty funny (I think she was growing out a mullet at the time). So I would drop in on her site from time to time and see how she was faring. Thus (unbenownst to her) I was witness to the trip to New York, the blind date, the move, the engagement, and the marriage.
I lost track somewhere around there (I don’t recall Jackson’s arrival), but cleaning up my bookmarks a couple of years ago I wondered if Wendy was back online. And so I discovered DW.
I drop in most days because (1) I have been reading Dear Abby since I was seven so schadenfreude is how I roll, and (2) you guys are pretty entertaining.
I will not be commenting however because (1) you and Wendy have it all in hand, and (2) I would say something stupid and BGM would lexically lacerate me, and (3) Keymaster Kate would tots find out who I am and tell the internet.
(P.S. I also stay away from deleted threads because I have no idea what they’re all about, but I assume they are not for the faint of heart. After all I’m still processing what AP did with little Elliott from ET.)
Best comment ever? I wish we could hear more from you, Old Guy; you sound fun.
Definitely best comment ever. I like you, Old Guy!
OMG definitely the best comment ever. Please chime in more often!
AP is way past that. She met someone else, got pregnant and had a baby!
Who’s already going to be ….. drum roll…… 7 months old (very soon)!!
awesome comment!
Best Comment Ever…I want more!
Lexicaly lacerate is all kinds of haaaaaaaaaaaa
HAHAHAHA I LOVE OLD GUY! How can we get you to stick around? Maybe if Kate promises not to show up on your doorstep??
Please, he WANTS me to show up at his doorstep. It’d be the most exciting day of his life. That was an invitation to stalk if I ever heard one.
I think you should comment! This place is best when you get opinions from all different types of people. If we were all the same it would be pretty boring. 🙂
Hello! I don’t remember if I’ve shown up on previous lurker days or not. I started following Wendy back during The Frisky days, and I tune in every once in a while, usually if the thread is about something academic. I’m a Visiting Assistant Professor working at a small liberal arts college, but I’m about to shift gears and start working in a related industry so that I can move back to the same state as my husband, who is also an academic. Reading advice columns is part of my morning routine, and Dear Wendy is one of my favorites, because the advice is so down to earth.
I am also a lurker. I have commented very very sporadically in the past. I am in my mid-30s and I have a 2 year old daughter. I commented once before about how my husband and I were struggling with the decision to have a second child or not (so far we have decided not, but since we are running out of time this topic still comes up).
But mostly I lurk. I love coming to this website because Wendy and the commentators often share advice that I find I can apply to different situations within my own life– good advice tends to be universal, not always specific to a particular LW’s situation. So thank you for providing this place.
Hi I’m Tania 🙂 A story you posted about miscarriage got my attention and I’ve been reading your website since then – so maybe 4-5 months lurking now? Anyways love your advice, haven’t posted anything myself but who knows maybe I will in the future…
I’m mostly a lurker and comment from time to time. I started reading Wendy’s column on the Frisky and have been here every since. I check in at least a few times a week. I love this site and the people on it. I also love the epic dating thread – I live through all your experiences as I’ve been out of the dating scene for 20 plus years.
I love the epic dating thread. Especially those with different relationships; so interesting and enlightening (and fun to read)
it makes me smile that you love the epic dating thread 🙂
I’m a former sometimes commenter and have wrote in for advice on the dreaded topic of weddings before and a few other instances, but have none mostly lurked due to school taking over my life. I still pop in and read Wendy’s wonderful advice and peruse the forums in my limited downtime. I have yet to convince the IT department at school that the site is not “adult content” so I can’t access it at school which is a bummer.
I’m turning 30 this year and living outside of Boston and am in school to a nurse practitioner and am keeping busy most days asking people probing questions about their health and looking forward to my clinical rotation at a prison this summer (I found through volunteering that I love correctional medicine). My husband and I are planning on to start trying for kids in the fall and I love reading about everyone’s perspective on being a mother here, especially Wendy’s. I’ve worked with children for years and while I love them, I’m definitely not a baby person and being surrounded by friends who are 24/7 baby and nothing else, it’s nice to read about a variety of experiences here!
I comment randomly but am mostly a lurker. I’m 29 and live in the Pacific Northwest. I am in the midst of buying my first house (closing in a couple weeks!) which is exciting but also really bittersweet.*
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My bf finally admitted that he doesn’t want (or at least isn’t ready for) marriage & kids things we had talked about PRIOR to moving in together two years ago (together for a total of 5 years). This decision happened a while ago, but because rent prices have been going through the roof we decided to 1. Wait till our lease was up and then 2. for me to find a house to buy. Our situation became one where we’re together until we no longer live together, which means that a lot of the emotions i’ve been pushing off are now coming forward as i begin to pack and plan. It’ll be a trying few months, but i know that DW will be there for support if i happen to reach out.
I’m sure we could get a PNW meet-up going if you need to reach out, especially once you transition into your own house presumably by yourself. Where in PNW are you at?
I work in Portland but live in Vancouver. A PNW meet-up would be GREAT!
My sister is in Salem and I’m planning to go out to visit later this summer. Hey DW Stalkers.. cmon out cmon out!
You’re buying your own place in Vancouver? What are you, rich??? 🙂
Stalking time!
haha the PNW’s housing market exploded recently. A lot of Californian’s have been moving up to Portland and Vancouver gets some of the spill over. I’m just hoping that once i buy the whole bubble doesn’t burst and i’m upside down in a house that i only want to stay in for 5ish years. House buying is no joke. lol.
I may have introduced myself on a previous Lurker Introduction Day, but why not do so again?! Been ready Wendy since TF days. I’ve commented here and there , and sought advice in the forums about a tough call to leave a job that was just “ok” — after only a few months working there — for my dream job. Happy to report that with the support of my loved ones (and reassurance from DWers), I went for it, and since this summer have been working in a position I’ve coveted for years. I live in PA with my husband of eight months (yes, this summer was full of many life changes — new job, marriage, moving – I’m still recovering) and our cats. Any other Pennsylvanians out there in DW Land?
I am an off and on commenter, and when I do its usually late to the party, so I am last on the list 🙂
I have been a fan since The Frisky, though I have only commented recently. I have three kids, a husband, a Great Dane, and a few cats. I work full time in Healthcare compliance and go to school for my MHA at night. I coach little league soccer. Yay. And I live in Florida near the coast. I could probably write in on every topic, I too have a crazy ass MIL, a demanding job, odd coworkers, and a husband who is quite demanding also.
Hi, I’m an infrequent-commenter-most-times-lurker too. I’m a 36yr old single female from Texas who does boring finance junk during the day and trains to be a triathlete super hero by night. I love the advice that Wendy gives, as well as the comments from the usual suspects! I keep hoping that by reading DW, I’ll eventually figure out how to not suck at dating and how to stop getting my heart smushed. I’ve joked in the past about settling for a ranch full of dachshunds to keep me company and the occasional male escort for….ya know. But until then, I trudge on through the muck.
Ha! I love the dachshund ranch idea!
More more more, I want to read more! Lurkers, come out wherever you are. Tell us how you found Dear Wendy and if I’m your favorite regular you can share that tidbit but if I’m not you can’t share that tidbit because I have a fragile soul.
Hi! Looong time lurker – been reading Wendy since she was with the frisky and followed her here. I just moved to the DC area a few months ago (yes please to a DC meetup, I would love to meet more people here). I’m finishing my PhD at Ohio State University (defense is a week from today), telecommuting full time to my engineering job on the west coast, and planning an August wedding, phew!! I love reading dear wendy to help put things in perspective when I’m stressing out about life in general. I also love how supportive this community (of mostly women) is, such a nice break from what we see so often in popular media and online.
Hello! We’d love to have you at the DC meetup! I also lived in DC while finishing my PhD – good luck on your defense! It felt so good to have the PhD all over (except for the edits on the dissertation after the defense, but I didn’t think that was nearly as bad). I felt like working while finishing my dissertation helped to push me over the finish line.
Hi Portia! Thanks! I got really lucky because my work has been directly related to my phd research, so I think it’s been easier for me than others. But I totally hear what you’re saying – two other students that started at the same time as me, but don’t work outside of our graduate lab, haven’t even gotten to their candidacy exam yet. I think there’s less motivation if you’re comfortable with your funding situation. In the end it was the wedding that pushed me over the finish line, though! I didn’t want to be worrying about wrapping up two weeks before the wedding, which was my original finish date :).
That is lucky, finding a job related to your PhD research. I think having a job helped push me to finish because I was already getting out of academia and could see my life afterward. I really didn’t feel like I was doing much while ABD and on fellowship funding (although that’s when I did my marathon of fieldwork).
I don’t know how you’re planning a wedding on top of that! I got married last year and basically told my husband he wasn’t allowed to propose before I finished because I was not going to spend the last few months answering questions about a wedding – that sounds like my nightmare. He proposed about a month after my defense.
Hi everyone!
I have been reading Wendy since TF and commented for the first time last week, so this Lurker Introduction Day is very appropriate for me! I am Dutch but presently live in Berlin with my boyfriend and our two daughters. We moved here when the oldest was three and the youngest six weeks, and let me tell you, that was a challenge. The three-year-old (understandably) had to adjust to all the changes in her life, but now things have settled down and we are enjoying our time here a lot. Between working almost full-time and taking care of my family, I have little time to comment on websites, but I try to read as much of DW as I can.
And Addie, yes, you are one of my favourite commenters.
Aww, hi mac! So nice of you to (all on your own) say
Yay, Addie Pray said hi to me. Now my life is perfect!
Oh go on, you. Really, go on… Haha.
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Lurker day is always my favorite day.
Hey, fellow lurker here. It’s nice to come out of the shadows! I think I’ve commented maybe twice in five years…I’m a travel writer and an advice column addict. I think I read about 10 every day from all around the interwebs. But Wendys’ is the best!
Hello fellow lurkers! I was once a fairly frequent commenter, then an internet troll took apart one of my comments (piece by piece…it was brutal) and completely misinterpreted what I was saying, and I haven’t commented since. So, I come out of the shadows to say hello. 🙂
Welcome back 🙂
Aaawwww thanks Veritek!
I have been reading every day since before Wendy got pregnant with Jackson but have never commented. I love reading all the advice from Wendy and the various comments following. I have learned so much and it is always nice to realize my problems are not as bad as other people’s. I am older (56) and recently retired so I feel a bit out of the loop on some topics but really enjoy the site.
I have been reading Wendy’s advice since The Frisky days. Native North Carolinian living in Raleigh trying to close on my first home. Not to mention work blew up this week and ish really hit the fan. Love my job and co-workers but now we have to clean up another office’s mess. Starting next week we’re on mandatory overtime. Extra money helps but it’s going to be crazy.
Needless to say Wendy’s keen advice and wit helps at the end of a long day. She’s awesome!
Hello. I’ve been around since the Frisky days. I read every day! I’m married with 2 kiddies (2 and 9mos) and I live and work in the DC/MD area. Love the site!
I’m a long time lurker and thoroughly enjoy DW. I’m a 51 year old almost law student (waiting on my ideal schools to respond), and a paralegal.
Thanks Wendy for the invite to come out of the shadows.
I’ve been a longtime lurker (been one even when Wendy was on TF, and that was LONG AGO). I’m currently working as a research scientist at a food delivery company in the bay area, but I’m from a small college town in a small state on the other side of the country. My boyfriend and I were originally doing a long distance thing across states (we met in my home state and he was living in Boston, but he had a start up and was spending half his time in his state), and it actually worked really well. We are living together and it’s not like it’s cramped (we have a nice two bedroom house in silicon valley) but living together is TOUGH. We both have demanding work schedules, albeit flexible hours (sometimes we work from home) but we are both introverts. I feel guilty that it’s so difficult because we don’t have any real responsibilities (no kids, no pets), we have good incomes–and I look at people who have kids and I wonder, gosh, how do they do it?
Hello! I have introduced myself before on prior lurker introduction days, but I always go back into hiding. I have been reading this site since the beginning. I love how thoughtful and compassionate Wendy’s advice is at times, while also giving advice that gives people a swift kick in the ass when the require it. For the most part I enjoy reading the epic dating thread and anything that BGM or Addie Pray (there is your shout out Addie!) comment on. I was hoping that Lyra would comment on this thread to let us know how married life is and if she’s pregnant yet. Ok – now I feel like a creepy stalker. Anyway – I live in AZ. I am sure most people on here are looking forward to summer and I am decidedly not! Wendy – I like the change this week with more topical conversation and personal writing. It seems to have really gotten the community more involved in commenting again. It is nice to “meet” y’all and I will now head back in to hiding.
Hi azgirl! Comment more!! Yes, we need a Lyra update, don’t we? I haven’t heard from her in awhile.
Hey! I’ve been reading since 2009/2010ish I think. I don’t really know how I got so into this site haha but I really have 🙂 Anyway just wanted to throw out there that I posted awhile back in the forums about some job issues I was having. And the comments inspired me to get it together and really focus more on my career and get a new better job! So thanks everyone, and Wendy!
Hi everyone! I’ve been a lurker for a little over a year and I probably only commented a couple of times. I work overnights in an ER, which everyone knows is chaotic. But believe it or not during downtime this is my entertainment! I’m 26, bowl competitively, and truly believe wine is the best medicine….
RANDOME UPDATE: I am also writing on this because I wrote a letter to Wendy about a year ago and got so many of you giving me wonderful advice about my situation about my boyfriend who refused to move out of his parents home. That is what is so amazing about this site, how incredibly honest and real Wendy and the commenters are. Anyways, if anyone remembers my letter, my boyfriend and I sat down and realized how much we both needed to grow up and find a place of our own. We found a beautiful townhome and moved in a couple weeks after my letter was addressed. It was by far the best decision we ever made. We’ve had fights we needed to have living together, let any and all financial difficulties make us closer, and all the while realizing that we do want to spend the rest of our lives together. Flash forward to 3 weeks ago where he proposed in front of both of our families!! We are planning to marry next year.
Thank you again to each and every one of you!
Thank you to all the lurkers who came out and said hi! I read each of your comments and though I’m probably not going to have a chance to respond individually to every one, I hope you’ll feel comfortable to comment again. Would love to hear more from and about all of you!
ah dang, am i too late? well, i’ve been reading for about 4 years now and come to the site usually every day and definitely every other day. fun fact: the site and i share a birthday. the dating thread is my favorite (as was the earlier ‘i love dating’ thread and even earlier ‘i hate dating thread’. even though i very rarely comment i always hope the regulars keep coming back so i can keep following their stories. #creepy?
i live in europe (prague) and mostly only comment if that’s somehow relevant. 🙂
Hello! I’ve been a lurker for several years (and somehow always miss the Lurker Introduction Days, much like I did yesterday). My cousin introduced me to the site, and I’m addicted. The first time she and I saw each other after the Bob and Eli thread was amazing.
I’m in my mid-30s, in advertising in the Midwest, do improv, and am recently engaged. I’m definitely the type who wants to comment, but realizes dozens have already said what I’d like to, but much more eloquently!
Hi CloverCarr and hi to your cousin!
Hi. Long time lurker. First started following Wendy when she wrote for The Stir.
I have been married forever, have a bunch of kids and am pretty basic. Basic in a really awesome I am the bomb type of way. My little family has just decided to move from California to another state, just for the hell of it. Life is good.
Wendy I loved the posts with differ t comments favorite parts of their house! I thought it was really fun. Did you stop having those posts? I also liked when you had the posts where commenters told a little more about themselves, answering quick interview type questions. Those stopped too!
Anywho. I’m here. Lurkin.
Ugh sorry for all the typos and terrible grammar. Typing while breastfeeding always makes me sound drunk.
Ha! I will go back to lurking now..
Hi, and welcome, Howdywiley! You’re right — it’s been a few years since I did a “meet a commenter” type of thing. Maybe I will start that back up again…