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ronMay 8, 2023 at 7:16 pm #1120032
The added explanation helps a little. I still don’t understand why you would be so bent out of shape because your bridal party isn’t thrilled to plan a bachelorette event for womeone who is actually married and not a bachelorette. Where I think you are being unrealistic is in holding the expectation that you can have the same experiences now that you would have had if this were your actual wedding. It isn’t and you can’t. I think you need to be a bit more adaptable.
What is it that you want from them all of them? I mean, obviously the friend who can’t even tell you if she’s going to be able to make the wedding us being an asshole, and you should probably reevaluate the friendship. But I’m
Unclear what it you want from everyone else.AnonymousseMay 9, 2023 at 7:14 am #1120039
I mean, I get it that you want to to have the wedding, a big wedding and have it be your day and all…but that is largely a fantasy.
And I know you want what you want but part of this is a little pageantry at this point. For the party that knows you’re married, the expense and stress is hard to swallow maybe, when they know you are married?
Why not just surprise everyone by not doing all that ceremonial traditional stuff and just have a big and fun, less stress and drama, party?AnonymousseMay 9, 2023 at 7:33 am #1120040
I know this is important to you, and you want it to be important to them, but I think somehow part of the magic is gone when the people involved know you’ve actually been married for a year already and that you had a (small, private) ceremony. I know at the time it was for the insurance, and I understand that this didn’t happen the way you wanted it to. I feel for your feelings and wishes that weren’t met, I do. But, I think expecting people to pay to come from far away, pay for a dress, etc when they know it’s already done may feel like a lot to someone on a budget, even if they are your “best friend.”
The paragraphs about the situation and how everyone is letting you down do make this sound like a lot of expectations not voiced, nor met. It doesn’t seem to me, (IDK) that you clearly expressed your expectations. It sounds like you were like, “Yeah, sure, the anxiety,” and on one hand you know your friend well enough to know what she’s able to do and what not- and on the other hand, you are disappointed that she can’t overcome her condition to make a speech that day.
You have to accept people where they are, not what you wished they would be.
Make an alternative to a stuffy ceremonial wedding. Plan the day with all of you in consideration and take the pressure off. Is it a “wedding” or celebration of all the live around you?
I know I’m a party pooper but that’s my two cents.BetsyOctober 5, 2023 at 3:11 pm #1125872
This is just a pet peeve of mine. What you had was a small wedding, not an elopement. There’s a difference.