Am I in the wrong ?
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I am with bgm on this one
PLEASE GET YOUR TUBES TIED!!!!!!
There us no reason in the world to have another. This is so sad…
My daughter us 21 and she has NO interest in getting pregnant. Reading stuff like this makes me so thankful. I am gonna call her right now and tell her how much I love her.There have been a few comments that simply tell the LW to get sterilized or get her tubes tied. That makes me uncomfortable as a moderator, that we’re not answering the question but just telling an LW struggling with poverty and abuse to get sterilized. Recommending she take precautions and find the right birth control for family planning is one thing, but telling someone to have an operation to make them sterile is really another, with I think different implications.
I am sorry Kate, but if someone has 4 kids they can’t give a safe secure home to they probably shouldn’t have any more.
This is a huge problem in America. There are so many like her. It is hard to feel sympathy when you think about what it must be like for the kids involved.
Not to mention what a burden it is for the welfare system. The more children there are in the system the less $ there is for others.
If she goes to child services they could help her with daycare (although there may be a waiting list) and if she went to a shelter some of them have programs to help set her up with housing. I suggested sterilization because if she is having a child with Medicaid they will pay for it. She is 21 and could have a bright future, but the chance of that dims with each extra mouth to feed.Right, she probably shouldn’t have any more at least while she’s in this situation. Which is why I say recommending a reliable method of birth control like an IUD makes sense, so she can control her future. Recommending sterilization is a different thing in my opinion. I feel like we don’t recommend that to people who have any degree of privilege, which is why it makes me uncomfortable.
I agree with Kate. I’d believe folks were saying it to be helpful if they weren’t saying it in such a flippant way. It comes across as only being suggested in order to show as much disgust as possible.
And also, sterilization has long been used in our country to control populations that are considered undesirable. So when a privileged white woman is telling a woman living in poverty and abuse, and potentially of color, to “get sterilized,” it has a connotation that’s not present when, say, we recommend to a peer that she try an iud.
She asked if she was in the wrong for leaving and not giving this woman half her money.
She didn’t ask for opinions about her choices.
I’d love to never read “cheezus crust” again.
Yeah, BM, seriously, please don’t use that one again.
Absolutely agree with Kate.
I would love to see as much concern for the helpless children in this situation. The LW is an adult making horrific decisions that are fucking up her 3? 4? children. She should absolutely take steps to guarantee another life isn’t dragged into this mess. Was I kind? Nope. I’m not inclined to be kind to people who hurt kids. And yes, I am disgusted.
In that case, good advice would be to recommend services and means to get help for her kids. Like several compassionate posters did, out of concern for both the LW and (maybe more so) her kids.
I have a problem with forced sterilization. I have a problem with government sanctioned sterilization targeting particular groups. I don’t have a problems telling a 21 year old, with soon to be 4 children, with no discernible means of support outside of the stripping she referenced, that 4 is enough. To focus on the ones you have. To not have anymore. Four is a lot for any single mother, regardless of socio economic status. We tell women to look into adoption all the time, because, at times, that seems to be in the best interest of the child. So is advocating a more permanent birth control method for a mother of four by the age of 21, who is only now trying to support her kids and get on her feet. I have sympathy for her but I have far more for her children.
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