Am I in the wrong ?

I don’t think cruelty has a place here. Saying things kindly might get through. But outrage has its place too. That’s really the beauty of this site. You can get harsh truth. You can get empathy and kindness. The hope is something will resonate. Sometimes it is the harsh truth that does. Her kids haven’t had any stability in their young lives. They deserve that. As much as her question was about whether to keep the money or not and isn’t the ex evil for trying to steal it…the true victims of this story are her kids. It’s important she see that and step up in a meaningful way for them. If this person was in my family, I would absolutely suggest permanent birth control to her. Clearly conventional birth control is not is her wheel house. No one is stealing motherhood from her. No one is forcing sterilization but it is valid advice for her to consider in these circumstances.

CHEESUS CRUST

Ok, you don’t see the difference between a response that just says “Get sterilized!” or “Get an abortion!!!” and a response that contains some real advice which might include a recommendation to visit Planned Parenthood to figure out contraception, or “maybe consider adoption,” among other options. I guess you don’t have to see the difference, but please don’t do the former. Anything that’s phrased as an order to do something to one’s body, let’s say, isn’t cool.

Obviously we aren’t physically forcing anyone to do anything to their body, but it comes uncomfortably close.

“So my life is pretty com0ecated right now. I was with my boyfriend of 5 years we have two children nd recently broke up about a year ago I’m only 21 we have 3kids and 1 on the way. I left him because of constant verbal and physical abuse”

Does the father pay anything towards into child support? It doesn’t sound like you have a lot of support. You are still really young and you can change things around. Ask your mom how much money she thinks she deserves to be compensated and then pay her that and thank her for supporting you when nobody else did.

It is really good you finally left your abusive boyfriend. It sounds like you started early and with this one being number four, it might be a good idea to consider tubal ligation. It is often offered right after labor and delivery because everything is open and ready to go. You are so young to consider it, but you also have a nice full family and four presumably wonderful kids to care for.

People are being hard but every baby ends up taking money, time, and love. You have four beautiful kids. You are young enough to still start a career. But the more children you end up having, the more you are going to take out of your own pot. Starting a business is one way to go. I know many people who advertised as a cleaning person/ assistant before they had a full time job. Do your kids qualify for Medicaid? Personally, I think the goal would be employment anywhere that provides decent vision, dental, and health coverage.

Another possibility is trying to work for a daycare and getting reduced tuition for your kids. You could also consider part time work as a home health care worker. In many places it only requires a few weeks of training.