Am I in the wrong ?
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- This topic has 102 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 3 months ago by Kate.
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JuliecatharineAugust 15, 2018 at 3:58 pm #787958
FWIW I fully appreciate the effort Kate puts into moderating; I think it’s a largely invisible job because she does it so well.
@Ron-I completely agree. The letter itself was odd. There was teen motherhood, at least three unplanned pregnancies, multiple abusive relationships, unemployment, guns, four different living situations (five if you include homelessness), an std, an identity-stealing/tax defrauding/abusive landlord/ex, a disabled person being exploited by said ex who has also been providing housing and care for at least two kids for an unclear amount of time without any compensation, and the question was about who is right or wrong in all of it. It’s kind of a wild goose chase. I’m not there was really a complete way to address this question.
Sky-blossom came close, but I’m not sure she really answered the money question without adding in what she thought the writer should be asking more than what was actually asked, because it was impossible to answer with addressing a carousel of complicated issues that were merely noted with vague, dramatic descriptions.
CETAugust 15, 2018 at 9:04 pm #787984Well, if this is real the very first thing you need to do is get on birth control. An IUD perhaps? Call your doctor and make an appointment asap. Next, stop relying on other people and stop having a boyfriend till you can get yourself together. Make a plan to get your own (probably shared) place with respectable people. Make a plan for your future…a career and what you need to do to be able to get the job you want (an online degree, a certificate, some kind of training course). Work two jobs, come home to your own place to sleep, file your taxes (they are easy) yourself. Make yourself a strict budget. Babies and child care are expensive and you are not able to be a parent just yet. Make a 5 year plan to get your act together. Good luck. I hope you can pull yourself out of this hole and eventually get yourself some therapy to understand why you have made the choices you have and then not repeat it in the future. I have a friend who got a college degree, and then two masters degrees doing online courses after working full time and getting the 2 kids to bed. His career took off after that. I have two friends who raised her kids and when they went off to college she went and got a PhD and then eventually became the head of a huge program. Start making yourself have more discipline. No more loser boyfriends. No more babies (you are in control of this!). Work hard. I know you can do it.
Bacon MistressAugust 16, 2018 at 10:30 am #788043Oh honey. Please dont get upset because I prefer other people. I know you do your job; I have seen it. I am sure Wendy is glad to have your help. But I really doubt the job of a moderator is to pick and choose the phrases he/she like or write drama into another’s comment. There was no “screaming”. The tone of my comment was one of sad resignation that despite making the same mistakes over and over, some people can just fail to see a pattern and do it all over again and again. Not every LW needs to be coddled. In fact some need to read comments like mine and others. Maybe it will wake them up a little bit. But if you want to continue to prey on me to make it juicy be my guest.
KateAugust 16, 2018 at 10:47 am #788051Uh, honey, I don’t care about you at all. Your comment about cheese made me wince, that’s all.
This isn’t about you.
Bacon MistressAugust 16, 2018 at 11:19 am #788053It was made about me. Its ok though. Have a nice day. I bear no ill will.
August 16, 2018 at 11:47 am #788057I am the person who said I didn’t wish to ever read your cheezus crust comment again.
No one said you internet yelled.
Telling a young girl who’s clearly had a hard life that she’s the biggest mess you’ve ever read on here is unhelpful, probably untrue and just plain mean.
You don’t actually generally give anyone advice. You berate them, make fun of them or tell them they are a mess. That is not advice. That’s not telling them like it is, tough love or helpful in any real way.
And insert colorful phrases like…. cheezus crust for some god awful reason.
August 16, 2018 at 7:28 pm #788101CHEEZUS CRUST Bacon Mistress.
CHEEZUS CRUST with sad resignation that despite being repeatedly noted for a rude and abrasive tone and manner you keep making rude and abrasive comments over and over and fail to see the pattern and do it all over and over again. You don’t need to be coddled. Maybe comments like this will wake you up a little bit.
CHEEZUS CRUST. Maybe the third time is the charm 🙂
Now you will be kind and thoughtful and give actual constructive guidance in a warm and friendly manner with a touch of humor. Everyone will love to read your comments and be impressed with your sage advice. You will be a joyful person beloved by all.
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