DW Community Catch-up Thread
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I’d also like to qualify that a little – it’s the only relationship I know in real life that’s come of Twitter*, and he lives on the West Coast so I’m not sure if there’s a regional difference.
By the way, I found out the other day that you can max out your number of swipes per day on tinder.
*haha, typo, supposed to be tinder. I don’t know any relationships that have come out of Twitter…
I’d suggest a new epic thread – ‘Look, online dating doesn’t *always* suck!’
but actually I have a feeling it would be pretty short….I’m hopefully attending the wedding of a good friend next year in Hawaii, she met her fiance on tinder. She used it ruthlessly, was upfront she wasn’t looking for a hookup and wouldn’t even hold hands until several dates in. After a couple of months she had more guys slobbering after her than she knew what to do with and they were all on board with a relationship. So, it can happen! I would not have had the self discipline she had though that’s for sure.
Ange, sounds like her strategy worked. It seems (from what I hear) like guys are likely to *use it for* the hope of hookups, but of course they may be converted to a relationship if they see potential there.
If you’re a woman who meets a guy on Tinder, it’s probably safest to assume, like your friend did, that they are seeking a casual hookup *at that point*.
If you sleep with them the first time you meet, you have to do it under that assumption, *not* the assumption that they’re so smitten with you that they not only want to sleep with you but want to have a dating relationship with you too. If a casual hookup is not your thing then it’s sensible to wait a bit and find out if there’s potential there for a dating relationship. Meaning he understands you were not using Tinder just to hook up, he enjoys spending time with you, and eagerly shows that he does by going on dates with you.
ETA Not that a relationship can’t come out of a one nighter either. But if you’re not the kind of lady who can deal with a one nighter, I’d say don’t sleep with a Tinder guy the first night, because the odds are not in your favor that he marched with you because he’s looking for something serious. Even if he makes a grand gesture on the first date like buying you a fancy meal or a dress coat, haha.
well, I’d like to chime in with my Tinder Success story, or as I like to call it: my Tinder Surprise!
after several years of online a dating using OKC and meeting people IRL with no real luck, I met my now live-in boyfriend about a year ago and he is the love of my life. I don’t know if he was on there for a hookup but our second date lasted about 3 days and we became exclusive in the middle of that date. BF is super hardworking, educated and very culturally sensitive to my foreign-born parents (who live locally and are … quirky) in addition to having a nice family of origin himself. I just feel so very lucky and really, that’s what finding a good match boils down to, IMO: good luck in meeting the right person at the right time.
I had actually found while on Tinder I met “better” guys than on OKC, though of course I had to weed through flakes and rude people, too. Granted, I do live in a rather hipster place (and qualify as one myself) so I’m not sure if that has anything to do with it?
The most annoying was people I’d ask out on Monday for the upcoming Friday/Saturday and they would say it was too far in advance to plan which I find odd unless someone works an “on call” type of job.
wanted to add: I also have several friends on Tinder, men and women, here that while they are not for me, are really super great people looking for a relationship so , they are out there!
I’ve encountered a lot of men looking for relationships on Tinder. I do have my parameters set to exclude anyone 25 or under, so that’s probably part of it. Of course there are people who are just looking for hookups, too, but the same could be said for OkCupid or any other dating site. Sometimes it will be right in their profile what they’re looking for, and if not, we usually discuss it before meeting up anyway. Tinder is so popular in my area that practically everyone is on it. Also, when I was visiting my family in a more conservative area of the state, there were A LOT of Christians on there talking about Jesus and stuff.
In my experience using Tinder, Match, Bumble and OkCupid – they’re all the same. You could get a guy looking for a hookup on match and a guy looking for something serious on Tinder. You just have to weed through them. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes figuring that out.
Yep, I think it’s the same everywhere you go. I’m not hating on Tinder. I just clearly haven’t met anyone relationship-worthy on there (yet).
@missdre me neither. I’ve met some nice guys, but nothing serious has come of it. This latest guy was from tinder and I can’t tell if he’s a flake or what, but he clearly wasn’t in a position to be dating. But I had pretty much the same thing happen with a guy from Match. I figure it’s a crap shoot no matter what lol
