DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Veritek has moved on. There’s no need to keep bringing past discussions up. I’ve enjoyed following the fashion discussion but had nothing to add.
The white and red is a very pretty dress ktfran and I’m sure you’ll look lovely in it.
Kare, I;m assuming your friend knows how you feel about her shitty fiance? In which case, you can say, “You know how I feel about “Tom,” and you know I love you so I will support you always, and I will always be happy to do things with you and [her daughter], but I’m not interesting in spending my free time with Tom. Please know that that isn’t a reflection on my feelings for you at all. It’s only a reflection on my feelings for him. I think you can do a lot better. But he’s the guy you’ve chosen so I will accept that and be civil to him, but that doesn’t mean I have to embrace him as a friend, as someone to spend down time with.”
That’s a good script, thank you! I will try that. I think she’s well aware no one likes him. She doesn’t really seem to like him.
And Nookie, that would work as well. I am definitely opting out – I’m doing a lot Saturday as it is and would rather not spend my evening with people I have little interest in being friends with.
In other news, I am going out with my FWB tonight! He’s getting his schedule closing to mine, which is nice. He used to wake up at 1 pm and go to bed at 4 am. Now he’s more on a 10 am to 1 am schedule. Which means we get off work earlier, and we get to spend more time together. Although I’m taking a nap after work today. I had a customer call last until 11 pm last night and got to work an hour early today because it didn’t go well. Thank god for coffee. I usually save my one caffeine beverage a week for Saturdays, but I needed it today. I miss caffeine…but the breast pain isn’t worth it. But of course I’ll have to give up caffeine if I am ever pregnant, so I guess it’s good I’m weaning myself off it now.
Wow that’s a lot of rambling…I’m really feeling the caffeine. And possibly a sugar high from a donut.
I love caffeine.
I have a similar situation with a friend. She’s with a guy who is awful – a complete nightmare. They have a son, he demeans her and him on the regular. Things were so bad at a point she stayed with me for months until he magically was going to change. Now they bought a house and she continues to tell me horrible story after horrible story. She says he needs a dad, my thought is he needs a mother a stand up for him and get the hell out of there.
I totally jumped in with a fashion redirect haha.
So the dating update is I’m all sunshine and rainbows and warm fuzzies over here. It’s only been 6 weeks which is a super short amount of time so I’m trying not to over think it. Just being excited about someone is vaguely terrifying for me though. Dating so soon after my horrible breakup makes me extra nervous that if this doesn’t work out I’ll be even worse off. But he’s so great. So so so great. I’m just powering through the fear as it comes and figuring I wouldn’t want to miss out on a great guy because I was pissed at the last one.
Even if things don’t work out, it can be good to date someone after a breakup. I dated after a bad breakup, and I was kind of a mess. However, it was good for me to see that guys saw me as attractive. I obviously had some stuff to work through, but it was nice to figure out I wasn’t the horribly unattractive person my ex tried to convince me I was. Plus I tend to be a person that wants to try and fail rather than wonder “what if”. Sometimes people meet in less than ideal timing, but if it works, it works.
@kmtthat Oh man do I understand the terrifying nature of being ridiculously excited about someone really really quickly. What I’ve decided is that the worst thing that can happen is that I’ll get my heart broken, and I know I can survive that. Completely worth the risk.
Things with The Physicist are still warm and fuzzy also, though continue to be somewhat complicated due to a situation in his other relationship. We haven’t gotten to see each other too much in the last month because he’s super busy/stressed out with school, but we’ve been finding as much time together as we can. And occasionally more than we should, given how much else he has to do. On Saturday he gave me a math lesson, we went to a movie at my friend’s house, and then went out and had a super nice dinner and a whole bunch of wine to celebrate that I haven’t had a cigarette in a month and a half.
J and I have taken some very large steps back from each other, and it’s been really good for both of us. I know there’s a good relationship in there if we can just figure out our expectations of each other.
So no real dating stories. I’m kind of wanting to find a FWB because while I love the alone time I am getting not seeing either of my partners very often, I would really like to be having more sex; once or twice a week is not really doing it. However, even a fwb would be a kind of relationship and I don’t know that I have the energy for another one.
@stone, I love you view on going all in. You’re right, the worst that could happen is it doesn’t work out. And you survive! I wish I would have used this mantra ages ago.
@kmen I agree that sometimes just being with someone great who makes you feel wanted after a bad breakup can be a super healing/important in and of itself, especially if your ex did a huge number of your self-esteem (cheating and lying in my case, and yours) even if the relationship isn’t a “forever” type of one. I had that after my super big break up and me and the dude were on and off for awhile and then seriously dated for almost 6 months, and it is one of the relationships I look bad on the fondest. We are still friends to this day, when we see each other we talk and catch up and its all good. I am so glad I didn’t let the “rebound” or “you have to take more time” mentality stop me from dating that particular person because it was pretty integral in terms of my healing and feeling better. Good luck with your dude! Warm and fuzzies are where it is at.
My dating update — I have been with my boyfriend for a while now (2.5ish years) and just got in to graduate school a few hours away, and we are trying to navigate what that means for our relationship, and things were really optimistic and hopeful at first and now… not so much. There have been some other things going on in our relationship and I just laid it all out to him the other night and we’ll see what happens. It feels though, that a huge wound has been lanced in our relationship and like things are looking up and I feel 1000% better after getting a lot off of my chest.
That’s awesome that you’ve gone a month and a half without cigarettes! Everyone I’ve known said it was the hardest thing for them to give up – even compared to alcohol, opiates, etc.
Having a FWB can be great, but it’s so much work to find one. But I feel you on the once a week thing. Which is why I’m seeing 4 different guys. Or as I like to say “three guys and an alternate”.
