DW Community Catch-up Thread
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@ktfran Yeah, that viewpoint was probably one of the most helpful things I got out of therapy. I had been talking about my approach to relationships and she really cheerfully responded “Wow! It sounds like you’re doing a great job of protecting yourself from getting hurt. How’s that going?”
It was the sort of gentle slap in the face I needed.
@Kare Yeah I actually had gotten back in touch with a guy that I was seeing for a little while last year, cause I remembered that he had just been wanting something casual. So we met up for drinks, slept together, was a good time. Then he started trying to plan a whole bunch of dates with me and it became clear that he wants an actual relationship.
The problem is I have an insane libido, but I’m really antisocial a lot of the time.
And yes! Quitting smoking. Not easy. I’ve actually been on smoking cessation meds that have been *amazing*. Haven’t just quit smoking, have also cut back drinking and I think it’s cured the low-grade depression I didn’t know I had.
That’s great! I’ve tried to cut back on drinking as well. I don’t drink a lot as it is, but I feel really guilty when I drink more than one drink. My brother is an alcoholic and a drug addict, and it kind of casts a different light on things. To me what would be a fun night out is him trying to escape his reality because of the war. Which is another reason why we don’t really celebrate Memorial Day or 4th of July or anything. I mean we obviously let my brother know what we love him and spend time with him to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself or anything. But we don’t do the typical barbecue, beer, fireworks, etc.
@Kare my brother is a recovering alcoholic (also a veteran), so I definitely understand that. My dad also, for years, had a lot of trouble with drugs and alcohol, and really didn’t stop fully until I was 15 or so. And my grandpa, who was a severe, angry alcoholic until the day he died.
And while I don’t think I’ve ever had a serious problem, I’ve definitely seen myself falling into patterns where I was using it as a coping mechanism to some extent, and really hate it. So it’s been good to cut back as much as I have.
I try not to drink if I’m feeling down, because I know it will make me feel worse. I still smoke weed if I’m feeling really anxious though. Sometimes I have panic attacks, but I’m hesitant to get anti-anxiety meds because my brother has ODed a couple of times on various ones. I know I wouldn’t just take a whole bottle at a time or anything, but I guess I’m afraid I could develop an addiction too. Alcoholism and drug addiction runs pretty rampant on both sides of my family, especially prescription drugs.
@Kare I totally understand that hesitancy. I eventually had to break down and get the meds because I was getting such crippling anxiety that I was heading toward losing my job.
I also just don’t like having things around that would make it easy for me to kill myself. It’s not that feeling suicidal is a common thing for me, but I’ve been in that place enough times that I don’t want to have any easy options.
Which is why I have a mini crossbow instead of a gun.
I feel the same way. Every time I see my parents (which is about weekly, they don’t live too far away and come to the city often) they encourage me to get a gun since I’m a single woman in an area of violent crime. I personally don’t feel comfortable owning a gun for a lot of reasons. I have struggled with some issues in the past and would rather not have such a lethal weapon easily available. Plus I’ve been in “fight or flight” situations before, and my instinct is to freeze. Which isn’t great, but I’m pretty sure a gun wouldn’t help. My parents aren’t aware of all of this, but they keep bugging me about the gun thing. I really don’t want to say anything to freak them out since they worry so much about my brother. I also don’t keep them in the loop on most things – my past eating disorder, sexual assault, etc. Ugh.
@kare for a while my dad was big on me having a gun and I just couldn’t understand it. I never needed one before so why did I need it now? Well, I don’t, but it makes him feel better. So I have a firearm and it’s locked in my home unloaded. It’s basically useless but it makes him feel better. Until I have the time to take a proper class and learn all about it, it will stay locked up and out of use.
Would you ever consider doing something like that? Or even just lie to them and tell them you got one so they’d shut up about it?
Oh if I told them I had one or I got one, they’d drag me to the shooting range. Which I have no desire to do. I’ve been before, and it makes me super anxious. My mom is a cop, so she goes to practice for her exams. My dad just thinks it’s fun. My brother is beyond obsessed with guns and an excellent shot due to his training, but he’s not allowed firearms until he gets his shit under control.
Plus guns aren’t cheap. I mean you can get a cheap not quite legal crappy one easily enough. But a legit handgun is not something I want to spend my money on.
Just wondering, has anyone heard from cleo? I know she was moving to Alberta — Wood Buffalo? Not quite sure when? If you do see this I hope you are doing ok with the wildfires. My heart goes out to everyone in Fort McMurray.
@hfantods Hey! I haven’t moved yet, on Tuesday I am leaving. Thank you for thinking about me! I will actually be east of Calgary, so very far south of Fort McMurray. It is a really unfortunate turn of events out there, and I hope as well anyone in Albert on DW near there, and the residents in general will come out stronger after this event.
Oh glad to hear it. I wasn’t sure where exactly in Alberta you were going (I realize it’s a big place ;)). Still, such a difficult time there. I can’t even imagine it.
BOOM. After today I am on holiday for the rest of the week and I’m excited, I so need this break after a stressful time at work and a stressful time studying for exams. But the latter are all done!
We’re going to Austria for four days and I hope to climb some mountains! It’ll be the first time travelling since giving up meat so I’m interested to see what happens there!
People being pressured to buy guns is weird as hell to me, but I say that as a Canadian whose lived most of her life in the UK. How is everyone else doing?
