I don’t mean that there’s a catch if a guy is attentive, I mean there’s generally a reason a guy reaches a certain age without having been married yet, beyond just not having met the right person. Look at most of the guys we know, right? Sometimes it’s just something like, they didn’t have much or any relationship experience, which is a catch but one you can deal with.

Gotcha!

I feel the same way as MissDre. I do have a boyfriend but my closest friend is currently dating, and every two or three months she meets some guy who is awesome and great and the one. For instance, she met a guy about two or three weeks ago on Tinder and started dating him. At first she told me about the guy: rich, handsome, successful, bussiness owner, only 30 years old, likes basically the same things she likes, and they are a match. I inmediately start thinking, sooo, where’s the catch? Why is a guy like this single? I am skeptical like that, when a guy is so awesome there’s got to be something.
Now, I see tons of red flags but she doesn’t see anything. For instance, he introduced her to his friends on the second date, and made her lie to them about how they met. Apparently, he didn’t want his friends to know that they met through Tinder, so he came up with a story that they met in College and they didn’t even attend the same one. They started planning a trip for the Desert Trip that is until October, on that same second date. He has told her he doesn’t want a relationship but promises that they will be together for a long time. Also, talks about his ex gfs as “crazy” and “gold diggers”, and also had one that was a very “hot model”.
In this case, the “catch” IMO is not manageable, the guy sounds like a dick. But sometimes the catch is something you can deal with, or learn to deal with, but there is always something, specially at our age (early 30’s).

I just got home from a long work day to see that this has blown up. First, when I talk about a typical blow off, I’m referring to when you go on one or two dates with someone and then you tell each other you’ll call or text and then neither one of you does or maybe one of you does but nothing ever comes out of it. That’s what I mean by being accustomed to being blown off. Second, there were several reasons why I dropped the quiet guy. He is nice and mature, but we are incompatible in a number of ways. Third, this guy who turned out to be a total asshole is an anomaly in terms of the men I’ve dated. And finally, I did actually text him something along the lines of me deserving more respect blah blah, but I’m not holding my breath I’ll hear anything back.

Agree about guys that are overly into you. My coworker is dating a guy like that and now she rarely comes into the office so she can work from his apartment. Plus he tries to control what she eats, how often she works out, poured out her vodka because he was mad she got drinks with a friend, etc. But of course it’s hard to see these things as red flags when you’re super into someone.

“If a guy seems overly into you right away, you should wonder why, because he doesn’t know you”

@Kate I think this is what I’m wondering right now. He hasn’t made any declarations of love or anything like that, he hasn’t said anything that I find weird, but he calls me or Face Times me everyday and even though I like it, I’m not used to it. I’m used to guys who don’t text for days and when they do you’re still not sure where you stand with them, and you’re wondering if/when they’ll ever ask you out again.

This dude travels for work and is Face Timing me from airports and has made plans with me for the day he gets back. I’ve never dated a guy who actually CALLS me.

I asked my best friend if she thinks it’s a red flag that he seems so into me so soon and her reply was “It’s only a red flag if you want it to be. He’s not so over the top that you’re creeped out. You sound like you’re quite enjoying it so stop worrying that there’s something ‘wrong’ with him.”

Anyway, I do like him but am proceeding with caution. As has been said, only time will tell.