DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Oh man I am sorry @Stone 🙁 I hope that you can have some time just to be sad and treat yourself to some nice things and feel better soon.
@Lucia I had texts like that they build up the tension and leave me so anxious, I agree with @Kate where you should just go in to it neutral and see how it plays out. It could honestly be a meet up for him to apologize or yeah, could be the death knell. Stay positive though and sorry you have that looming on the horizon.
My friends and I are doing our quarterly cheesy chick flick night tonight (we’re gonna watch Ever After) and then tomorrow is all-day D&D brunch. So I have a fun, friend-filled weekend to distract me. Just gotta get through work today.
@Lucia those are the worst kinds of texts! On the bright side, I gotta respect a person who says “let’s get together and talk about it” instead of just avoiding it.
@stone 🙁 I’m really sorry that happened. You can definitely get attached in 6 months. Take some time for you and I don’t know if you’re a hugger, but here’s an internet hug from me to you
@stone, I’m sorry. That sucks. I’m glad you have some friend time planned though. That’s great! Also, I agree about the lucia text thing. Talking about it, even if it’s breaking up (although we don’t know what it is, so yes go in neutral and let him talk first) is way better than never hearing from him again.
Definitely better than being ghosted, but it’s got my stomach in knots for sure. I’ll update after the talk.
Ugh, sorry Stone, don’t beat yourself up over getting attached. I’m glad you have lots of distractions planned this weekend.
Lucia, don’t assume it’s a breakup, but I’d approach it cautiously! I also hate those kind of texts. My mind just goes into overdrive when I get them and I can’t shut it off.
Oh, mine would be too. And I likely wouldn’t be able to do much of anything until it happened. Good luck! And please let us know how it turns out.
I just pushed the meeting back so I could go home and shower because the humidity today plus my anxiety over the past few hours combined with trying to finish all my work has my dripping. Oy vey, feeling like such a mess already.
Lucia, I’ve seen this kind of thing happen lots of times before. My prediction is there is another woman — either the one he was sort of dating before he met you, another woman from his past who has resurfaced, or someone new he’s just met — and he’s not ready to commit to you and not explore things with this other woman (or other women, in general). He’s probably sensing that you’re ready to move things forward and he’s not there yet but he likes you and so he’s worried about losing you by not being ready to be exclusive yet. That’s my take.
I think you should be prepared for the conversation to maybe go in that direction and think about how you want to proceed. Are you ok with seeing other people? Are you ok with not being exclusive for a while (or ever?). If you aren’t — if you want to be exclusive and he doesn’t, then you have to accept that this isn’t a match. My guess he’s probably just as worried about that possibility as you are. But you both need to be honest about what you want and what you’re ready for.
@lucia_la It definitely sounds like he is pushing you away without just coming out and saying it. Prepare for the worst tonight, it really sucks I can imagine. But better 1 month in then 3 months! Best of luck tonight 🙂
@Stone oh man!! I am so sorry thing ended 🙁 It definitely sounded like you two were hitting it off really well. Your weekend sounds great though so focus on having fun and enjoying your friends company 🙂
I actually got asked out on a date last night, but turned them down. I went to a meetup group in Calgary that hosts game night events at various bars in the downtown. Really great fun! Met some new people. One guy chatted me up a bit throughout the night, so when I left he asked to go for drinks soon and got my number (at the time I wasn’t really able to ask if he wanted a date drinks or platonic drinks cause it was so busy and crowded). So anyways he texts me today and we chit chat then start making plans for drinks, and I finally ask him if this was intended to be a date or platonic hang out kind of thing. Nope he wanted to date. So I politely declined because I am new to the city and really want to make friends more than date, and honestly am not feeling like dating right now. He offered to invite me to his game nights with his friends in the future though, so I guess that might happen? So I have a nice confidence boost that I can get asked out in person (rather than online which I have done for most of my dating).
@stone that sucks, I’m so sorry.
@Lucia this right here: ‘i related this story to friends last night and they all said i am being too available and making it too easy so that’s probably why he doesn’t seem as interested now.’Is utter bullshit. That is something neurotic girls have had drilled into them by douchey blokes trying to work their insecurities into making them never question what they’re up to. Never take that as an excuse from anyone and never think that has any traction in why someone might not see you anymore. If they aren’t trying to see you they just don’t want to, period. I hope the talk goes ok no matter what but he sounds like he’s stringing you along. Hopefully you can assert yourself and your wants and if he’s not on board so be it, next!
