Just catching up on this: @stone Dodged a bullet! Yeesh! @missdre That’s awesome!

This is not my own dating story, but my best friend introduced me to this new guy she’s been dating last night, and it did NOT go well. He was antagonizing me and challenged basically everything I said, and since I am not one to back down, it devolved pretty quickly. She said today that she was sorry that we didn’t hit it off, and I’m worried that this is going to drive a big wedge in our friendship.

@MissDre that is fabulous! Yay for Mr. Attentive.

I had drinks with the Physicist Sociopath’s partner yesterday. She is a really lovely person. We spent a few hours comparing notes. I am still having a rough time. I’m so angry, and I really miss him at the same time. But I keep reminding myself that the person I miss never really existed. He was a character created to appeal to me. But it’s still rough. I’ve been trying to keep myself distracted. Lots of friend time this weekend. It’s terrifying to know that if he came to ask for me back I don’t 100% trust myelf to say no and remember that everything he says could be a lie. It’s easier to just not be alone. Just in case.
How can a six month relationship fuck with me this much? I’ve been in a lot of relationships of varying degrees of seriousness, two of them were actually abusive, and nothing has ever had this effect on me. I know that I will be fine, eventually, but right now I feel like kind of a mess and that seems ridiculous to me.

Also, there’s a website called lovefraud.com, “how to recognize and recover from sociopaths” that you might find helpful. I found it years ago when my neighbor was dating a true sociopath and scammer. He had done the same things to a large number of women and was finally exposed, and was in a news story and everything. I can’t remember all the details anymore but I recall he drove a Bentley. I would see it parked in our lot and be like who TF is living here and driving a Bentley? He needed it as a prop to look rich. And he had all these ways of scamming women out of money. All the while he’d be buying you a $25K engagement ring but because of some complication it had to go on your credit card, just temporarily.

This same woman, a very attractive, fit, late/30s divorcee, was dating yet ANOTHER sociopath, a classic control freak abuser, who was the head of our condo board. They got in horrible violent fights.

Anyway, web sites like this can be comforting and empowering because you gain knowledge and don’t feel so gobsmacked. I don’t know if your guy was a sociopath or what, but certainly a liar and a creep. By the way, “love bombing” in the early stages of a relationship is definitely a tactic that sociopaths use.

Here’s an example story:

http://www.lovefraud.com/2016/06/03/after-a-year-of-no-contact-she-saw-the-sociopath-and-felt-nothing/

Come to think of it, living in that condo taught me a lot about bad relationships. It was gut-rehabbed 2-bed 1-bath townhouses that attracted a lot of single professional women home buyers with dogs. And we’d all talk. I was in a bad relationship too. Another neighbor spent her entire adult life entangled in this on and off thing with her male “best friend” from college, who would spend a lot of time with her, hook up with her, and sometimes act like they were dating, but then he’d have a skinny, small-boobed girlfriend and tell my neighbor that was really his type (she was curvy with huge boobs). And guess what? Last I heard she was giving it another shot with him. Which didn’t work out. Again.

Sorry for the Melrose Place walk down memory lane…

Whoo, that looks juicy. The important thing to remember is it id unfortunately not uncommon to find out you’ve totally been lied to. And when you do, unless you have to testify in court, the only thing to do is completely distance yourself from the liar / user. 100% no contact with him, his gf, wife, mom, friends, kids, all social media, etc. otherwise you let yourself remain his victim in some way and you’re not free.

@veritek33 and everyone else, thank you for the good wishes 🙂

@Stonegypsy I’m so sorry this guy is a douche, I hope you feel better soon and can forget his dumb ass.