Can anybody point me to a specific article or podcast episode? I’ll check out the site, but it’s a bit overwhelming to wade through all those letters when I’m not quite sure where to start.

@missDre I’ve dated and slept with guys a lot kinkier than me. My FWB hosts fetish events and such. I think the key is to go slow and follow your instincts. Don’t try everything all at once because that can be overwhelming. If there’s anything in particular he suggested that piqued your interest, explore that thing first. In my experience kinky guys have been understanding about lack of experience and are willing to have discussions upfront to answer any questions. Oh and of course you can choose a safe word, but I have never gotten that intense. I suppose “I don’t want to do that” can be a mood killer, but most guys I’ve been with just go on to something else and don’t seem phased.

@LadyE thank you for the back story. That makes a lot of sense. I can see how you thought this guy and you had potential for something more serious. And of course the disappointment of “what if” sucks. I suppose it varies for everyone, but I would say by the third date if a guy hasn’t tried to kiss you, you probably want different things. Of course I kiss on the first date, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

Now I really want to watch the Broad City episode about pegging…

So Tinder so far has been…interesting. Might meet up with a super hot Argentinian guy next week for wine. I think I’m in the mental space to casually date people that are really good looking, not looking for anything serious, are respectful, and fun. Like single but not out at clubs hooking up with randoms.

The issue is that I feel like WAY more guys would get a great casual situation if they didn’t treat women like crap. Like no, don’t send me a pic of your d or ask me to come over at 2 am or start off trying to sext. Talk to me like a human, assume I’m a quality person.

The one casual situation that I had on and off for much of my 20s was amazing because a. we genuinely liked each other as people b. we knew were were super different and wouldn’t work for an actual relationship c. we always treated each other super respectfully…were happy to go on a nice date, make breakfast together in the morning, talk about things in our lives, never pursued the other while they were in a relationship etc. attraction etc. was super compatible d. if one of us started having feelings for the other or met someone else, we’d cut it off, no fuss. How is this so hard to find?

Hoping everyone has good dates this week!

Has anyone read that book by Aziz Ansari? (Modern Romance or Modern Love, I can’t remember the title.) He talks about how men treat women like crap (in the context of online dating — e.g., dick pics, inappropriate first messages, putting little effort into messages, not or lazily planning a proper date, etc.) and if I recall correctly, it basically boils down to something along the lines of: most guys who are like that online would never, ever treat women like that in person. BUT, because of how online dating works (lots of messages going out without getting responses, getting ghosted, lots of first dates with no second dates, etc.), people who actually DO know how to treat others respectfully get frustrated — so internet anonymity + feeling like nothing they do is working = creeper behavior.

There’s a few of us in Calgary! Haha