DW Community Catch-up Thread
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it is right!? i think i was more bummed because i was having a good week with positive dating thoughts. Not feeling stressed about hearing from people or setting dates up and trying to just be proactive when setting up plans with people. So this kind shook me a little when i was trying to just let things play out and not stress over any of it.
Oh well… on the topic of holiday weekend plans i can completely understand the feeling wanting to have things to do. I tend to get anxious about not having plans and with a long weekend i really wanted to plan something, especially since i would spend weekends down the shore with my ex last summer. My friend invited me down to DC which i am very excited about and she is so much fun, but i just found out she is back with her ex that hurt her pretty badly. So lots to talk about with that.
Totally understand your frustrations Sararosie
I don’t have plans for this weekend other than to get a funnel cake with my friend downtown. I’m sure there will be a group gathering to watch fireworks and I’ll probably join.
Not a lot of dates lately, possibly one next week, working out the details as he’ll be returning from the Chicago area either Tuesday or Wednesday. Might take part of the weekend to paint another room in my house.
@sararosie43 Oh what a douche. I just don’t understand people not having basic human courtesy. It’s fine to just not be into someone but at least be polite!
Thanks guys for getting where I’m coming from on the lonely at holidays thing. It honestly made me feel like I wasn’t pathetic for being down about it. I talked to my two close work friends about biking up the lakeshore and then laying out at the beach/a pool on Friday since we have Friday and Monday off. They were both hoping to do soething for the 4th as well, and I know/adore both of their husbands so hoping we can plan something simple. I guess it’s hard for me to explain to people that 4 days off is really hard when you are lonely/depressed.
Still on Tinder and find it very entertaining. No ready to go on any dates (just totally not emotionally available) but may try to get in a casual thing or two.
Also totally agree…hope all of you TREAT YO SELF this weekend! I wish you all face masks, pedicures, and good beer 🙂
@kmtthat YES. “4 days off is really hard when you are lonely/depressed” – absolutely. Totally get it (the lonely more so than the depressed because my depression has really been under control lately which is a kind of awesome and new thing for me, but I’ve been where you are and totally get it). I don’t dread 4th of July as much as other holidays, but with my new family dynamics – I’m not spending the holiday with them, and most of my married friends with kids already have plans and so I didn’t even think to ask people until yesterday and today what they are doing and I found that a lot of them are going out of town or made plans thinking I already had plans. I should has asked sooner or just made plans but I didn’t. So I’ll go do the funnel cake thing because that’s tradition, but I picked up an extra shift on Sunday to work so I’m not spending the entire weekend figuring out what to do.
I treatedmyself to a nice bottle of wine on my morning grocery run so maybe I’ll sit on my porch swing and have a glass this weekend 🙂
I’m doing stuff Saturday night with my FWB, and we will probably go to the goth club Sunday. I can’t decide what to wear because I’m torn between going goth or going patriotic. So I think that will be fun. Or if not, at least I’ll have sex.
Things aren’t going well for my brother at the moment, so I’ve been stressed about that. I think he’s living on borrowed time.
If a guy doesn’t text you after a first date, or reply to your thank-you text, he isn’t interested. He’ll probably respond if you text him about a date you talked about (shame) or if you ask him out, but you can always tell that he’s not interested if he isn’t proactively texting you soon after the date. Cue 5 people telling me they went on a date with a guy, never heard from him, got him to agree to a second date, and now they’re married, but I still say if he’s not reaching out, he’s not into you.
@Kate I read the most awesome advice column (written by a man) that basically said the same thing. He said, it doesn’t matter how AMAZING you think the date went, or how much chemistry you guys had, or that he said he wants to do x, y, or z with you, or that you had the most incredible kiss. None of that matters. All that matters is how he behaves AFTER the date. Is he texting you? Initiating contact? Does he ask you out again relatively soon (within a week)? If not, he’s not interested.
Honestly I’d say I tend to behave the same way – If I’m interested, I will initiate conversation and texting. If not, I will probably be silent unless they text me first, not be super text talkative, and be secretly hoping they ghost me first so I don’t have to say “Actually, let’s not get together Friday after all. Sorry, I’m just not feeling it – best of luck!”
Yeah, totally agree. And it won’t be some over the moon fantastic fantasy romantic overtures right from the start.
Modern Romance is a good read if you haven’t read it.I thought Modern Romance was great, because it made me feel less alone. I was like “Oh thank god, so it’s not that there’s something wrong with me, it’s just that this is how dating works these days!”
@ver wine on a porch swing sounds so awesome! It is a very American thing to have a porch swing looking from the Canadian side 😛
