DW Community Catch-up Thread
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MissDre and Copa: god, I’m sorry.
Copa, this line is the one I always say too: “I don’t think the reason someone doesn’t want to date me matters. It only matters to me that they don’t want to be with me.” With my 3 month dating situation ending super abruptly, it actually would have been easier if I could have been like “eh he was dating someone else he liked more” or “oh his ex was back in the picture.” I think sometimes speculation can lead you to make totally random and false conclusions when the focus should be on moving on.
So glad I finally shut this last guy I dated down and told him basically to stop texting me because I still had feelings and wanted to move on (totally unfair to abruptly break up with someone and then continue to reach out for weeks after!)
MissDre: THAT GUY IS SUCH A DOUCHE CANOE. It’s so insane to me that guys are afraid of confrontation, feeling like the bad guy, a woman acting “crazy” that they just…ghost after a not insignificant amount of time. When really, if he had just been like “look I have a lot going on in my life, and I don’t want to continue to date you” you probably would have been sad but understanding. Selfish, that. Again, I don’t think speculating that he had a wife helps. I always advocate for seeing where they live/meeting friends/being their FB friend or knowing mutual friends to mitigate that risk, so maybe a thing to consider in the future? But really…he might be single and just like the thrill of the first few months and then want to skip out. Doesn’t always have to be complicated to be a tool.
I have a daaaaaaaaate Wednesday that I am super excited about! So last NYE I went to a restaurant/bar that my BFF’s fiance was DJing at. I was there with my ex and my female friend and my BFF’s fiance had invited his buddy and his buddy’s roommate. That night was really fun and everyone got into good conversations. So the roommate and I talked for a good two hours (my ex was busy chatting with the other guy) about relationships, how hard it is to meet a genuine person, about work, etc. I walked away from that night telling my friends MAN if I were ever single, that guy is really great (and super cute). So the other day we matched on Tinder (I swipe right one like 1 out of 200…so odds are not in anyone’s favor) and it wasn’t till after he messaged me that we remembered we had already met. Anyway he asked me to dinner this week, so feeling pretty great. It’s a little odd as his roommmate knows/hangs out with in a larger group the guy that just dumped me. Anyway even if it ends up being more of a friend vibe, I know we get along well and he’s super sweet.
I’m sorry @MissDre and @Copa. 🙁 what a shitty start to the week.
I’m also inclined to think both of these guys are the crash and burn type that are addicted to the passionate beginning phases of relationships. Ghosting or ending things over text message is unacceptable in most circumstances.
@kmtthat I hope you have fun on your date! I think you have a great attitude towards dating.
I had a crazy weekend with my coworker having lots of kinky sex. We had a conversation about what we’re doing, but I’m hazy on the details. Meh. Today I’m going to the doctor to see if she thinks I should get surgery or not. So there’s a good chance I will be out of commission for awhile.
Oh my god, really? I hope he said more than that… I’m really sorry Miss Dre.
And Copa, I’m so sorry about that text this morning! WHO thinks that sending a breakup TEXT early on a Monday morning, without any warning, is a good idea?!
You both deserve so much better.In other news, my date on Saturday was fun. He’s a funny, charming guy, and I can tell he has a good heart. But I still feel… kind of meh about him. We had 3 glasses of wine at this cool wine bar near my place, then had some dinner at this cafe that I really like. By the time we walked back to my place, it was about 8pm. He was going to be meeting his friend about a 30 min drive away (a mutual friend of theirs had recently passed away, and he was going to go visit), and he had asked if he could take a quick nap on my couch. Which was totally fine with me. And then he invited me to cuddle with him. Which I was like, uh, well, ok. And then he said something like, don’t worry I’m not going to try to have sex with you. And I was like, Um, I wouldn’t let you! (Um, what?) And so we cuddled on the couch, nothing happened, but he did kiss me a few times but no making out happened. And then he had to go. SO. I just… I dunno. I should be wanting to at least make out, but something is making me go in the opposite direction.
Other than that, I have a date with a new guy, from Bumble, tomorrow. I’m actually looking forward to it. He seems like a down to earth guy, so we’ll see. I’m going into it just looking forward to meeting someone new and getting to know them.
MissDre ugh well at least you don’t have to worry he’s try to reconnect as he’ll be far far away. Still a dbag for totally going dark on you.
Sending you many good vibes for you to take care of yourslef and get past this situation soon.
I got really upset and sent a bunch of texts telling him how much he hurt me.
He said: “Oh no. I didn’t expect to get this job and that id be moving Dre.
I have to fly now. I’ll message you later”
I cried all morning but my two best friends showed up at my door to come hug me.
He probably knew he was taking the job before even leaving.
If I were you, I’d cut ties with him sooner rather than later. I’d block him on social media, email, etc. It’s not nice to go MIA on someone who he almost certainly knew was waiting for a response. Dickish move.
I’d respond to that text saying that he’d message you later with “I’d rather you didn’t. Have a nice life”. Because he’ll probably want to be friends after this and be the good guy and whatevs.And a breakup text on a monday morning at 6:15 a.m.? He just won the “get your head out of your ass award” of the week.
Seriously, this BS is kind of shocking. I was online dating as of 4 years ago, but that’s like ancient history. I don’t recall there being this prevalence of unacceptable ghosting and breakup-texting after 2 months of dating. Pulling back, starting to fade out so you’d ask what’s going on, sure, I guess. That 2-3 month mark was always kind of a make or break for relationships. But does it seem like we’re reaching a new low?
