DW Community Catch-up Thread
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@MissDre – No explanation OR apology? Good riddance. I wouldn’t give him the time of day.
I responded somewhat rudely to the guy who texted me. Feel bad now. Debating apologizing but probably not worth it.
I did think we were on the brink of either walking away or committing. I guess I just thought we’d go the commitment route, things were (I thought) going really well. Not doing the best at concentrating at work today (oops) and keep wondering which signs I missed or misread.
All that said, though, I’m glad I didn’t get ghosted. That was the worst dating anxiety I’ve ever felt when it happened to me, and it wasn’t even with a guy I’d been on a date or two with. Ugh.
@Copa, oh he had his explanations and apologies.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call before I left but I have a lot going on. Things were crazy in Dubai and I didn’t even have a chance to check my emails. I just got home last night and saw your messages and I’ve been flying today.”
Blah Blah Blah.
None of that changes the fact that he was a DICK for not taking 15 seconds to reach out to me. All he had to do was acknowledge me.
And yeah, I still would have cried over him choosing to leave and take this job. But at least I wouldn’t be hurt that he treated me as though I had absolutely no importance.
I got next to nothing done at work today. Unless you count not crying. Which I am actually filing away as an accomplishment. Sigh. I wish we could’ve hung out and consoled one another today, Dre!
I feel down on dating right now, which I’m sure I’ll get over in the next week or so once this rejection feels less fresh. I haven’t been in a serious relationship in a couple years and I miss it, feel ready for one. The past two years has amounted to a lot of first dates but only a few several-month relationships (one guy ghosted me, one I decided I didn’t feel the way I thought I should after several months and ended it and felt surprisingly sad about that, and now this one). They were all fun beginnings full of hope but I miss the companionship of being in a LTR. Most of my friends (local and long-distance) are seriously coupled and taking all those next steps that I wish I could be taking with someone. I know a lot of what I’m feeling as I type this is just the sting and shock of unexpected rejection, but I feel down, lonely, and frustrated that finding a partner isn’t entirely within my control.
I’m sorry…but it seems like this past week and weekend and today have just totally sucked for everyone. I’m sorry ladies. I can’t even believe the lengths these assholes go to avoid being an actual good person and just saying, “hey, I am not as into you as I should be right now.” Jesus.
Copa, I completely know how you’re feeling. (ETA: And you MissDre!) You are not alone!! And I’m sending you both internet hugs if you want them.
Holy crap guys, big hugs to you all! I can’t believe how quickly shit hit the fan today. I wonder if there is a room near you guys that lets you break things…I think that would be a good thing to do right now!
Miss Dre and Copa – I’m so very sorry. What a bunch of dick bags. That’s no way to handle either situation.
And yes, @Kate, that’s the reality of online dating now. It has changed drastically in the last few years and the prevalence of people just being assholes to one another (both men and women) is pretty much common place now. I’ve gotten to the point that I just expect to be ghosted by guys. It’s sad and ridiculous.
Yea, i have recently decided to take a little dating hiatus. The state of things out there was really getting me down and I realized it was impacting how i felt about myself. Even though i know these people have no real impact on my life, i didnt feel like i was handling the rejection like i could, which would be to realize its not really about me.
I think part of it is my bad breakup was only 4 months ago, so i think dating helped me with a little bit of a fun distraction for a while. But it had gotten to a point where these fuck boys behaviors were really bothering me and i just had to tap out for now.
@Copa – i feel like what you said is exactly how i feel too. I also feel sad because i was in a 2 year relationship that i think i may have gotten into because i was ready for a relationship, not because we were well suited. Its hard watching so many friends starting their families while i am still hoping to find a good guy at some point in the future.
On everyone’s recommendation, I started readiNg Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari and OMG, it’s amazing. Having been in a relationship for the last several years before things like Tinder and Bumble really took off, I’m really unsure of the landscape of dating, especially in a major city. It’s pretty much that a. there is a a seeming flood of endless options so people are pickier than they would be normally b. everyone is super insecure and c. extended adolescence.
I set up a date with a different guy who I’ve been texting back and forth with for about a week…we’re meeting up Saturday. He’s really funny and works a pretty corporate-y type job too, so hoping we hit it off. Feeling a little nervous for my date with the teacher tomorrow, but he was such a sweet guy so I’m sure it will be easy and mellow.
All the complicated shit aside –wherever any of you are, you aren’t going through this alone. t’s normal and human to want to connect to others, and the fact that it still hurts when it doesn’t work out means we still feel, still hope.
@kmtthat that book is scarily accurate isn’t it? I hope your date goes well! I’ve gotten to the point that I view things as just meeting new people and hoping for the best. Like, I went on a date with guy in February and it hasn’t turned romantic, but we’ve become pretty good friends! We get together about once a month or more for dinner and drinks and he’s just fun to hang out with. I probably would have been super disappointed about that before, but now it’s like “hey, I have another friend to hang out with, that’s cool.”
On another note, I was supposed to have a date this weekend and that got postponed due to the death in my family and rescheduled for last night. And it was really nice. We originally were just meeting for ice cream. And that turned into drinks and that turned into a late dinner and long story short the date lasted almost five hours. It was a nice experience and he’s already asked me out again for this week and I said yes and we are going to figure out a plan tonight.
@sararosie, that is how I feel too, yet I have been in a relationship for almost two years. I see everyone getting engaged, married or having kids and sometimes I don’t see it close for us.
This last weekend we had a trip that I thought was awesome, but he decided to ruin it by giving me the silent treatment for the last hour of the drive back home. Then, yesterday we talked and he told me everything I did wrong during the trip, which made him explode during the last part. So, the trip was awesome for me and he says it was awesome for him too, but I did things he didn’t like and he reacted like a small child or a teenager. He is very immature sometimes which makes me think that we are far far away from that kind of stuff. Communication is very hard sometimes and I feel sometimes like we should just break up. But I don’t want to break up because in many ways, this has been the best relationship I’ve ever had. I keep telling him what he should do to communicate, that silent treatmeant and ignoring me and never wanting to discuss anything is not ok, but I’m also tired of telling him what to do.
My best friend is single and sometimes I feel jealous of that. And sometimes she feels jealous of me for being in a committed relationship. I guess one can’t have it both ways. It’s hard on both sides.
