I got nothing positive to contribute 🙁 but… glad others are keeping busy and having fun.

My Saturday brunch kinda-date with my long-lost college friend was really fun! We live really close to one another and I’m excited to have a new/old buddy. I was kind of curious how I’d feel and think about him given all of that Tinder stuff I detailed (basically, knowing he’d at least sleep with me, haha), but since he told me about how he’s still messed up from his last serious relationship, which ended two years ago (he cheated on his now-ex with an 18-year-old who was still in high school), I’m not entertaining the idea that we’ll be more than friends.

I went on a Tinder date yesterday with a pleasant guy who didn’t really look like his photos and to whom I was not attracted. We spent a couple hours drinking and getting to know one another and I had a nice time, but no chemistry. I went home and felt a bit deflated that the last guy I had immediate chemistry with (the one who broke up with me last Monday at 6am) didn’t have long-term potential. Even though he ended things in a stupid way, I want to be his friend because I really did like him as a person and enjoy his company. Not sure if that’s weird or if he’d go for it but may test the waters in a few weeks.

I am absolutely swamped at work due to unusual turnover within my unit but am trying to line up some more dates in the upcoming weeks.

@Cleo, oh yeah that has to be frustrating even if you *know* you have no right to be upset. Hope you have better luck with plans/weather working out this week!

@Copa glad you had a good time and yikes, does sound more like a friend material. I’ve always wondered how many guys are upfront about the reason their last relationship ended if it paints them in a really bad light (like will my ex tell people honestly that he randomly cheated and that it really wasn’t anything I did?) or if they usually gloss over it with “we wanted different things.” I mean I admire that this dude was honest with you.

I had two dates this weekend. First was a nice guy, but I just wasn’t attracted to him
(he was cute, but just not my type). I’ve been trying to date outside of type (whether by looks, career, overall personality) just to see how that goes. But in some ways it really reiterated that I know myself pretty well and that attraction/chemistry is not something I can build if there isn’t at least a good amount to start with. Second date this weekend was a second date and it was as fun and easygoing as the first, and a great kiss at the end. Third date is set for Wednesday…trying to not overthink it. Honestly still not totally over the last guy, even if he did go kind of nuts at the end. So just thinking of dating as a fun way to get to know people and if something works great, if not, I can at least have a fun summer 🙂

@ktfran No, no contact from the napkin guy. But I started feeling more ready to date, so I signed up for Tinder again.
I have had some great conversations, and have dates lined up for the next week, which will be exhausting, but I’m excited to meet all of them.

@kmtthat Honestly, it was kind of interesting to talk to him about it. I’m sure I’ve blabbed all over this site that I’ve had issues with being cheated on, so it was nice to hear the guy’s perspective on it. Like he acknowledged that cheating was him dealing with some relationship issues in a horrible way (which is, in my opinion, what cheating almost always is) and still feels guilty about it. He did defend himself a little bit (“X was an issue, though!” And I’m like, “OK, but that doesn’t mean you look elsewhere!”), but knows he messed up. But yeah, we’re DEFINITELY looking for different things. He’s 32 and dating college-aged girls, my guess is because he knows those relationships have like a 99% chance that they won’t go anywhere. (And even a 20-year-old called him out on his emotional unavailability. So.)

I do think his honesty is rare, though. I dated the same guy all throughout my early 20s and he’d had one serious prior relationship that he’d told me ended because of distance. Our breakup went something like: he spent a couple months lining up his next girlfriend (just the emotional stuff), eventually started *actually* cheating if you don’t consider the emotional stuff to be cheating, then broke up with me when he knew he no longer had any use for me, I guess? (I found out about a lot of this stuff a couple days after getting dumped.) It turned out, this was actually his pattern. He’d done the EXACT same thing to his last serious girlfriend. I think the distance certainly contributed to how he treated his girlfriend before me, but once I heard that story it was like, “Hm, no, it wasn’t the distance. It’s that you’re a jerk who would rather hurt someone than be alone.” So I guess this is a super roundabout way of saying that I think most people would rather cast themselves in a better light with half-truths, cliches, or at LEAST justifications.

Wow! Happy Thread Anniversary!

I didn’t do too much this weekend. My coworker got back in town last night from his family vacation, so I stayed at his place.