DW Community Catch-up Thread
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I think if a casual, no strings sex arrangement is what both parties are looking for, monogamy shouldn’t be part of the deal. You just hook up, and it’s always safe sex, and you get tested regularly, and don’t ask or tell. Exclusivity implies a boyfriend.
Openly flirting with another woman in front of you seems clueless and kind of disrespectful, but again, if you said you only want casual sex, I can see why a guy might think you don’t have “feelings” and wouldn’t mind. I think if this were a “don’t ask, don’t tell” setup, you could say that hitting on other women violates that, and you’d rather not see it.
I missed the Happy Birthday to this thread. So. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO THE ULTIMATE DATING THREAD!
@missdre, I’m sorry things didn’t work out. That sucks. Sending you good thougts.@kmt, I think light is good right now. Take some time and have lots and lots of fun.
@ver, I’m happy you’re dating and enjoying dating. That’s what it should be. Good luck!
@cleo, I do think it’s inconsiderate for a FWB to flirt with someone else in front of you. It’s really just bad form. But I also don’t think he did anything wrong, per se, if you two are allowed to date other people. I think if you want to continue a FWB situation with him or anyone, you should explicitly state behaviors you expect up front. This sounds like it’s new to both of you, so I’d chalk this up to still learning. Good luck.
Honestly, if you’re looking for no strings attached sex, it might be better to do so with someone you don’t spend a lot of time with outside of the bedroom. That way, the lines aren’t as easily blurred. Food for thought.
Alright, I’m all caught up from the last three pages. Things are going well with the guy. Damn, do I love him. GROSS!
@ktfran You are adorable and gross and I love it 🙂
@Cleo – I get it and I don’t. I briefly tried to have a FWB thing going with an ex (yeah I know, poor judgement but it was fun) and we both agreed that if the one of us became interested in or started dating someone else – no more benefits.
It was disrespectful to flirt in front of you but I bet he just doesn’t get it. And I kind of understand the monogamy thing because we were trying to do the same thing – have sex with someone without being attached and just have fun – but only with each other and not with someone else in the picture. I think FWBs are hard to navigate if you’ve never done it. It was a very short lived thing for us.
@kare I’m afraid to google Christina piercing on my work computer so can you whisper in my ear what that is?Also, second date tomorrow date with the guy I had a date with last week. And he picked a restaurant I’ve been wanting to try for a long time, so I think it will be fun!
Popping in here. I think a Christina Peircing is a lady bits piercing. She elluded she needed to take it easy anyways with sex….so I can assume that is due to the location of it. Could be wrong though!
@ktfran you know its good when it’s gross! HahaYa FWB are new to both of us, and it is a tricky thing to navigate. If I were to do it again with him I clearly need to outline the rules. I think the don’t ask don’t tell would be my best bet and also apply it to doing it in front of my face. Ya know common decency. I think the reason we both agreed to keep it between us was because we are both not the type to just sleep around a bunch. I don’t find that fun, and he seems the same. We both were having fantastic sex, which at least kept it between us cause it was so good. But obviously as I mentioned, there was an agreement that if something outside of our arrangment happened we both were okay with it as long as we used protection.
Yeah it’s a piercing near the pubic mound. So a bit above all the sensitive areas, but still gets a bit in the way during sex depending on position. But I love it! It feels similar to a navel piercing.
@ktfran tell us more about how things are going! You’re our thread’s first success story (I think?).@veritek how is your crush going? I love adult crushes. It’s kind of nice to realize someone can still give you butterflies.
@kare that’s what I was assuming it was, but I’ve been wrong when assuming before! And yes, if that’s new, I could see why letting that heal a bit first would be a good idea (ouchie)
As for the crush, well, I still have it! lol. We’ve talked a little more this past week but I’m not pushing to reschedule the painting date, I’m already doing most of the work, so it’s his turn. It’s on him to reschedule. So in the meantime, dinner with the new guy tomorrow and possibly another date Saturday with the guy I went on the pizza and brewery date two weeks ago. Keeping the options open!
@Cleo I’ll chime in here and say that even in a non-monogamous situation, it’s just inconsiderate and rude to flirt with someone else when you’re out with someone you’re sleeping with (even someone you used to sleep with, I think – I tend not to flirt when I’m out with my ex)
@ktfran That’s wonderful! I’m glad things are continuing to go so well 🙂@Veritek 1) Crossfit prom sounds amazing. I did not appreciate dances enough when I was in highschool. 2) yay for second date! What’s the restaurant?
So… over the weekend J asked me if I want to move in together. When he and I talked about what we were looking for longterm a little over a year ago he told me that he was probably never going to want the kind of relationship that I was looking for (live-in life partner kind of relationship), and it took awhile to accept it, but I did and we moved on and managed to develop realistic expectations of each other. But he’s feeling differently about it now, and I’m really excited. If this were a year ago, or even six months ago, I would be a lot more wary, but things have been really really good for the past several months and I think it’s going to be good. Feeling very “fuck yes” about the decision. We’re not going to do so immediately (I want to make sure the improvement is consistent and not temporary), but… I’m really happy!
Just wanted to gush. /squee/
@stone that’s exciting! I understand your hesitation but I’m sure it feels good that he’s “come around” so to speak!
And yes, crossfit prom is going to be fun I can already tell. I saw pictures from the photo booth they had last year and it just looks like they had so much fun. My crossfit accountability buddy even wants to go to goodwill and buy an old wedding dress or hideous bridesmaid dress to wear and I can’t wait to see what she finds. Plus I pay them a small fortune each month so I’m going to enjoy free food they are providing for me :).
And the restaurant is hard to describe? There’s 2 restaurants owned by the same family and one is more upscale gastropub type, and this one is supposed to be a slightly more casual version (downtown near the colleges) that specializes in tacos and tortas. The menu had me salivating so I can’t wait to check it out because the sister restaurant has awesome food!
Yesterday my husband and I booked to do a fun vow renewal with Elvis when we get to Vegas in…. Oh my gosh just over 4 weeks. I can’t wait! That is going to be a superbly fun date. I’m going to go big hair, makeup, clothes, everything.
@stone, that’s exciting!
I don’t know that I’d consider myself a success story on the epic dating thread. When it started, I had just decided I liked the guy as more than a coworker. And I knew he liked me too. Before that, I had been on a long dating hiatus, but wasn’t completely closed off to the idea of dating. I’d say I’m lucky and from what I’ve been reading, wow, all of you are amazing.
I will say, this is the first person in my 36 years that I’m both attracted to and truly like as a person. And I’ve actively opened myself up more. It’s scary and refreshing and lovely. I use to be one of those people that rolled my eyes a lot at couples. Now I’m fucking one of them. It’s weird for me, but I’m happy it happened.
Fingers crossed for continued success.
I amend my statement to say he’s the first person that I’ve been attracted to, plus find extremely smart and witty, plus has a similar family and life outlook.
