DW Community Catch-up Thread
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thanks guys! I think i’ll have some cash handy and offer it up. If he takes it, fine, if he refuses it, fine. I always do offer, especially on first “dates/meetings” and would feel bad not- i would hate the idea of someone thinking oh, she just wants free drinks or dinner or whatever.
@courtney89 I always offer and I always make sure I have the money to pay for my share – whether it be cash or my debit card. If they refuse the offer, that’s okay, at least you offered. On my date last night I had the cash to pay for mine but he insisted on paying, so I let him.
Have fun on your date!
Courtney, I think it’s important to actually get the cash out (having some different denomination bills instead of just twenties helps make it easy) and put it down when the check comes. Not just offering to pay your share, but physically doing so. If he insists and hands it back, ok, but I think the complete act of paying needs to happen. Then you can take it from there based on what he does and says.
And i’m someone who rarely ever has cash (Which is why i always try to pay for myself especially on first dates, i just put my card down for my share..It’s just habit) so i’m going to make sure and have some $5s and $1s handy.
thanks guys! i’m pretty excited about this guy so fingers crossed.
I just realized / found out that Pilot Jones blocked me. I know that it doesn’t matter in the long run… I know that going no contact is the best thing and even though it hurts, having no contact will help me move on faster.
But goddamn, what a dagger to the heart. Here I was thinking we were parting on good terms and that we would eventually be friends again, but he friggin blocked me! And I have no idea why. He was the one calling and texting me everyday. Even on Monday, he was sending me funny memes and asking how I was. Then he sent me that goodbye text, wishing me all the best and saying he hopes our paths cross again.
And I tried to say goodbye, but my whatsapp messages didn’t go through. Here I was thinking it was because he didn’t have wifi. But nope, it’s because he blocked me.
So, not only do I feel sad that the relationship ended, I feel incredibly rejected.
At least now I can remove all traces of him from my life and move on. But shit. I’m so hurt.
His words didn’t match up with his actions. The stuff he was telling you every day didn’t square at all with taking a job half a world away with absolutely no discussion. That’s not a guy who’s sincere. His recent communication doesn’t square with coldly blocking you. He was leading you to believe something, because it suited him. I don’t doubt he liked you, but he wasn’t sincere.
I keep thinking that men (and women) treat people like that because other people allow them too. @MissDre like he made you feel bad going MIA, being a total dick and dissapearing on you, you posted here about how bad that made you feel, everyone said that he was being a dick and not being honest and then he reappears, telling you he took a job on the other side of the world, you talk to him again, he makes you think you can be friends, and you believe him again, and I bet anything that you were hopeful. He was sending memes? I’m sorry to tell you this, but this guy will never stop treating women like this if women keep allowing that behaviour. He was never sincere with you, and you allowed him to be like that. He had the ball in his court the whole time.
On another topic, I think this was a very interesting read:
http://qz.com/474766/the-biggest-mistakes-people-make-when-choosing-a-life-partner/?utm_source=parHuffPoMissDre, I think I remember Kate telling you not to believe this guy because he is coming on hot and heavy so soon. If someone is hustling you, the response is to go slow.
@MissDre, I’m so sorry that happened. It’s easy for us all to see things from the outside looking in, but it sounds like you two had a good connection and he totally flaked. I’m so sorry that happened and I wish you peace and confidence to move forward. This was not about you. He was a coward and didn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Well… I always say that in general. In this case I agreed with Miss Dre’s friend who said something like, does it seem like too much to YOU? And it didn’t to her. To me, the face timing from airports and heart emojis would be too much too soon, but she felt good about it. Now the asking to be exclusive after just a few dates, with the distance and not having slept together yet, did make me wonder, but I didn’t say anything. That looked like either a “zero to 60 then crash” type of move or a “I get it, no sex until we’re exclusive, so ok, let’s be exclusive” thing. But it was already done, and Dre wasn’t asking for advice.
I did say he wasn’t being honest and suspected the job thing was a cover story, and yeah, he wasn’t being honest. You could say, oh, well, he wasn’t lying, he just wasn’t mentioning it until it was a sure thing. Maybe? I guess? But where it looks dishonest to me is all the sweet talk and then going dark for almost a week. That was a gigantic red flag. What guys do means way more than what they say, and the glaring contrast between words and actions indicated he was bullshitting Dre. I think this guy is a smooth operator who knows (or thinks he knows) what women want to hear, but isn’t too concerned about their feelings.
