So I have a similar question for y’all that just happened to my sister that threw her for a loop: she met a guy on a dating app in, like, March, and they were supposed to meet up for drinks or something at the mall but she had to run an errand first, he got fed up with waiting for her (before they met, he was waiting to meet her while she ran this errand), and he left. She was really upset but soon forgot about him.

Fast forward to last weekend, 4 months later, and they met in person at a rock climbing gym. He didn’t remember her from the app and he pursued her and asked her out. (She remembered him, and he remembered eventually and apologized for flaking.) He was very obviously into her and asked her out several times, like 2x in 3 days, and was constantly texting her etc…then a day or two after their second date he says he’s not ready to be in a relationship and was sorry if he “led her on” and just wanted to be friends.

She doesn’t get it – like, why would he pursue her so much and then be like “Oh no, just kidding!”? I am used to guys doing that stuff at this point so I just chalk it up to it being a regular occurrence but I don’t know what to say other than “Yeah, that happens” because…it does. To be honest, better she know now, less than a week in, than later, I guess.

Nope, she was actually really just trying to figure out if she liked him at all and he said that. They hadn’t hooked up. They are both Christian and I think he was trying to be “honorable” and “not lead her on”…he said as much. It was just a weird situation all around; like, they hardly knew each other.

So. I mentioned on this thread about asking a date to reschedule and him getting upset about it. (He turned it into a dramatic “you don’t wanna meet me! you’re leading me on!” thing, even though I was 1) sincere, 2) apologetic, and 3) actively trying to reschedule.) He ended up popping back up later this week and we made a plan for tonight. This morning I tried to confirm and he asked if we could meet earlier. I asked what time. HOURS went by and finally at 4 he asks if we can meet at 5 (to walk his dog). I didn’t see it until 6, at which point I told him I assumed we were no longer meeting because I hadn’t heard from him, and that asking me at 4 to meet at 5 doesn’t work. He then turned it into an second “if you don’t wanna meet me, I’m not going to force it!” ordeal. (HOW is it that I say, “I didn’t hear from you so I assumed we weren’t meeting” but what he HEARS is, “I don’t want to meet you!”) So after some texting about the poor communication, I told him I don’t think it’s a good idea to meet up. He blew up my phone with texts about how I’m OBSESSED with blaming him, and does that make me feel empowered?, and telling me I’m a miserable bitch and GOOD LUCK FINDING SOMEONE TO DEAL WITH ME. I told him to get a self-esteem counselor and blocked him.

So. Saturday night and I’m now date-less and plan-less.

What a creep @Copa. I wouldn’t have given him the benefit of the doubt after the first time. No date is a lot better than a date with a lunatic.

I’m going out with the FWB tonight. He was out of town last weekend, so we’re going to catch up. No booze for me though because I’m having surgery in the near future. Finally getting this annoying lump removed (and biopsied just in case).

Yeah, I was hesitant when he popped back up but then gave him the benefit of the doubt. Should’ve listened to my gut. Went for a very satisfying run tonight instead and am about to meet a buddy for a drink. 🙂

@Copa What a nutjob! Seriously…bullet dodged!

So I went out with the guy I’ve been seeing for a few weeks again over the weekend. We had a really fun time, I slept over (without sex), and then we had a long talk in the morning. We got into a pretty deep conversation about our families and then I playfully asked him what his biggest secret was. He decided that it was good time to disclose that he has genital herpes. He was very open about it, explained he got it from his high school gf, only had one outbreak, never sleeps with someone without telling them, and when in a relationship takes medication and always uses protection so has never has a problem. I was really surprised and didn’t make an issue of it or really ask any questions at the time, just kept the conversation light and we moved on to other topics. We haven’t talked too much since then as I think he’s giving me space to digest.

I totally get that it’s more of stigmatized thing than an actual huge health issue, and I’ve read a ton of information. I’m a really anxious person when dating because of my past and I would be even more anxiety ridden with this too (I’m the kind of person that has recurrent nightmares about getting pregnant). I feel incredibly guilty, and I wish I wasn’t such a paranoid or anxious person but I think I just can’t handle it. After the last bf cheated I did a full round of testing and made sure they included blood testing for H and HIV, so I do know I absolutely do not have it. I feel like such an asshole, because he’s a fantastic guy and he’s obviously dated plenty of girls who had no issue with the (very small) risk. I just don’t think I can be one of them, and I am dreading having to say this.