Gah, I don’t know. Is he going away for law school? That could be a good reason to keep it just friends.

Could be a case of not being attracted at first but the attraction and chemistry grew… or could be you’re just lonely. I don’t know. But I’ve never been confused for many months about how I felt about someone, or suddenly realized I was into a friend. I know a lot of people have, but I haven’t. If you really feel something, then let him know you’d like to try taking this to a dating relationship, no guarantees, just see where it goes.

I say kiss him and see what happens. Attraction can definitely change with time. Sometimes the things you want change. Like wanting a confident guy might take a back burner if all the confident guys you date turn out to he douches.

Speaking of douches, my best friend and her fiance broke up. I’ve been helping her move and such, so it’s been a busy weekend. The whole saga has really made me think maybe having kids just isn’t worth it. The breakup is bad enough, but the fact there’s a kid involved makes it so much harder.

I’m with Kate about talking to him before you kiss him! Attraction usually grows for me, so I don’t find this odd. That Aziz Ansari book talks about how familiarity breeds fondness and attraction, so you never know! Maybe once he was friend-zoned it was easier for him to not be nervous around you. Also, I think it’s awesome you turned an online date into a legitimate friend — I’ve tried with a couple men when I enjoyed their company a lot but just didn’t feel romantic vibes with zero success.

The friend who I wrote about in my last post — the one who told his buddies to come to my place on Halloween — friend-dumped me this weekend. He basically told me his feelings are too much to be around me as just friends. Except he expressed it pretty poorly/in a way that made me question if he likes me at all as a person to spend time with. So. Kinda sad about that.

Not so much a date per se, but a dating thing…

Being as one of my love languages is words, I put on my big girl panties and told the gentleman friend how I felt about him this weekend. I let him know that I had no agenda, which was true, and that since I am a woman of words I just wanted to tell him how I felt.

His feelings? Not as strong. Cue sad trombone.

He did say that he is happier with me in his life than not, which is good. And he didn’t just say “thanks” which is also good. We are continuing on as we have been. I’m just alternating between feeling brave and like an idiot. 😀

I also think it’s very brave to tell someone how you feel. However, don’t let him string you along. If he’s not feeling the same then it’s time to move on and find a new gentleman friend.

Well, I’ve had a little wine and I haven’t updated in awhile, so here’s where I am:

In September, a guy from my hometown started talking to me on OKCupid, we talked quite a bit for 3 weeks and then when I went home to visit (2 states away) we met up and had a 21 hour date. It was delicious. Awesome. Yes, he spent the night. OMG. (And he’s not my usual physical type at all and it’s probably the best sexual experience I’ve ever had, I’m happy to admit!) But we live 2 states away from each other, so while we like each other, long distance is rough. I’ll see him when I go home at Christmas, though, and that’ll be wonderful I’m sure.

All this time, the guy from eHarmony & I have stayed friends and see each other a lot. When I was in my home state he very obviously missed me. We’ve been doing a lot of things together like volunteering, going to different restaurants, and we’re going to a renaissance festival together in a couple weeks. He also invited me & my dog to his house to spend Thanksgiving with his parents. It’s very erstwhile and sweet. I don’t know if it will turn into anything more than friendship but I really enjoy spending time with him so that’s nice. Either way, it’s refreshing to take things slowly & get to know someone really well.

Also in October, a longtime friend/former coworker with whom I had mutual interest but who ended up marrying another woman came back into my life when we had a catch-up lunch in October and he told me he’s separated from his wife. Long story short, he’s now a single dad and while I have zero romantic designs on him, he’s one of the funniest guys I know and we’ve always had a lot of chemistry between us. We’re now regularly hanging out (just as friends) and going to church together because we’ve both been burned by churches in the past, and it’s nice to have someone to go with instead of wandering in alone. It’s been incredibly fun to reconnect with him. When we first met, I was going though a breakup and felt like I was a shell of myself. I feel much more confident now, 4 years later, and we just have a great time together. He very obviously thinks the world of me, in fact, he’ said as much, which is lovely compared to being treated so poorly by guys in the past even on a “friend” level.

I’m also regularly going out with a twentysomething guy friend of mine to see live music or comedy and standing in random bars at 2am swaying to music while talking about life’s mysteries.

So…not really seriously dating at all, but somehow ending up seeing 1-3 different guys every weekend despite that, so I can’t complain.

Meanwhile, it’s my birthday in 2-ish weeks and I’ve wanted to try my hand at stand-up comedy for, oh, 30+ years now, so I’ve determined that THIS IS THE YEAR. 😀