DW Community Catch-up Thread
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“But I think that a lot of the complaints women have stem from the fact that depending on your age, there’s often a very small slice of men who want what you want with someone your age. So, while those men may have a variety of options and may have the opportunity to make selections based on appearance and youthfulness, women might not.”
I bet that if you laid it out you’d find that you have a fair number of entry-level criteria for men you’d date. I think that (just like everyone else) you see these as kind of the natural way dating works rather than pickiness or selectivity Why don’t you tell me what your requirements are for the following. Requirements can be something that would strongly disadvantage the man but aren’t technically requirements.
1. Height
2. Age
3. Education
4. Income/Job stability
5. Hairline
6. Looks (what fraction of men do you encounter that are physically attractive enough for you to date).
I’ve dated guys shorter than me, bald, and with no college degree. Everyone is welcome to have their preferences, even if I don’t like them. That wasn’t my point. My point was that I don’t think that women having opinions with regard to age preferences automatically made them shallow and judgmental. I wasn’t saying that women are superior to men in this, which seems like how you interpreted it. Everyone has judgments and preferences. I think women wanting men who can “support” them are annoying just as I think men who think women their age are too “old” and unattractive are annoying.
“I won’t date a 28 year old man because he’s not as settled in his career or looking to get married immediately” that’s a 28 year old man “who doesn’t get much of a choice”
Just to clarify, I was referring to people looking for someone interested in a relationship vs. hooking up/FWB. Perhaps if the 28-year-old in question assumes that wanting a relationship is the same as immediately wanting marriage, that’s part of the difficulty he’s having?
I don’t think having an age preference in dating necessarily makes anyone shallow (I do think, however, that is’s certainly narrowing the dating pool A LOT when you’re, say, 32 and only want to date men between 28-33, for example, but whatever); my point about the shallowness comes from the comments around how men age and how they don’t take care of themselves as well as women and by their late 30s it shows. actually, I don’t even thinks that’s so much shallow as it is, simply, sexist. And if the tables were reversed and this was a thread of mostly men talking about how harshly women age because they don’t take care of themselves so well, most of us would probably think that would sound pretty sexist.
In recap: talking about how one sex, in general, doesn’t take care of themselves as well as the other sex and they don’t age as well as a result = sexist.
Only wanting to date people of a certain age = personal preference (and, yeah, sometimes that preference might seem more shallow than another preference).
All right, I want to talk about this electric freakin hairbrush again. So today I washed my hair, sprayed some volume stuff in the roots, then put a leave-in cream and a drop of oil in and let it air dry while I did some work. Then I just fucking brushed it with this brush. This time it looks *as good as* when I get a straight blow dry at the salon. Now, you do need to do it in sections, but bigger sections than you can do with a flatiron and it doesn’t take long at all and it is foolproof. I used the low heat setting for most of it and the medium setting for some of the back.
My hair is chest-length, very wavy / almost curly, frizzy, and not very thick. But I’ve seen videos where people with thicker, curlier hair use it and are impressed. One African American woman with very long, very curly hair was convinced it wasn’t going to work at all, but ended up super liking it, though she did go over each section once after with her straightener – she said she got it done in half the time (and less damage obviously).
I think men age well, generally. My husband rarely uses any products other than whatever shampoo and shave cream. No moisturizer. He looks great, IMO.
I definitely think there are men who are younger looking for real relationships. They may not be the norm, and maybe a rarity even, but they are out there. Before I settled down I actually had a few brief flings with some guys a year or two younger trying to have more serious relationships with me than I wanted at the time. They may be less settled, not have a great career yet, something, but they are there.Kate, I am buying that brush. It sounds magical.
I seriously can’t even believe it, dude. These types of brushes first showed up on HSN or QVC I guess, which is why people haven’t been taking them seriously. But then Babyliss made one (it’s Babyliss in other countries and Conair in US / Canada), and it’s getting more and more attention as people do “does it work?” videos and are like, oh shit, it does!
I think it would be great for human-hair extensions (I have a clip-in set that I use once in a blue moon).
I’ve styled my hair with it twice, and there’s very little hair in the brush. It never pulled or snagged. If you are tangle-prone, you might want to comb through first, but it’s very gentle. That’s why I can’t understand how it does such a good job (and it lasted for days)!
People should date who they want to. Enough with judgements. If they are failing at dating and want to change their criteria, then your advice is useful. If they are ok to wait until they have their requirements met, your advice is moot.
if older, not so good looking guys wants to be given a chance, they need to start looking at older, not so good looking women. Parity at most levels, education, looks and money works for most people.
I think that some people, when they’re hit on online by someone, see it as an implicit assertion that this person is in their “league.” So if a bunch of fat 50 year old men are hitting on a woman, it carries with it concern that maybe they aren’t as appealing as they thought and this is where their “market” (in reality the age inappropriate men are hitting on everyone indiscriminately so they represent a disproportionate number of contacts). So there’s a desire to establish how gross and unacceptable these men are with peers to distance themselves from the contact.
Kate, I missed your original post on the brush and I didn’t see it going back a few pages. What is it? Like a flat-iron/brush combo? Because my hair is pretty straight, but during my last pregnancy I got this stupid curly patch right in the back. So my hair is curly/wavy in the back and completely straight on the sides. It looks completely idiotic, I hate it so much, but I don’t have time to straighten it every day. My hair’s really thick too so any kind of styling takes forever. If this is something I could do quick to fix it, I need it!!
Unfortunately I don’t have a good update. 🙁 we opted to euthanize my cat on Sunday. My FWB and my parents went with me since he was the family cat, and they wanted to say their goodbyes as well. I am glad he’s no longer suffering, but I’m still really sad about it. I’m off on Friday so I’m just trying to get through the work week, but I have no desire to deal with clients and sales guys.
