I would give the guy a second chance because I don’t consider fading after a couple of dates on the same level as ghosting. I think it’s polite if someone is trying to make more plans to say “hey I don’t see this going anywhere/I’m too busy to pursue a relationship/whatever”. But I don’t think it’s absolutely necessary. Now if it’s been a couple of months of steady dating and the person drops off the face of the earth, that’s completely unacceptable.

This is so surreal you guys. I was walking my dog around my subdivision tonight like I do every night. There’s a guy who lives across the street (in the subdivision, so like a tiny street) – he lives with his mom and her boyfriend and sits outside smoking on the porch all the time. Tonight as we got home, he came over and introduced himself and…asked me out. It was kind of awkward, to be honest, because apparently he’s been watching my comings and goings (including when my sister lived with me last year) for awhile. He said he’d seen a guy “with a ponytail” – the guy I’d been seeing for a few months last year – so he thought I might have a boyfriend but that didn’t work out, obviously.

I said sure, we could have a beer sometime, and gave him my number. He texted me almost immediately after I got inside and started talking about sex. Ugh. So I told him I wasn’t comfortable talking about sex so early and he apologized, but now I feel weird. We literally walk past the house several times a day and I’ve seen him outside smoking dozens of times. I was flattered for a moment, but I guess fuckboys are everywhere.

Oh man, don’t give your number to guys who sit outside smoking and watch you. You can just be like, I’m flattered, but no, thank you. Do not go out with him. If he asks you again, say, nah, I think we’re all set.

I don’t mean to make you feel bad, but if a guy who lives in your neighborhood and watches you all the time, starts sexting you, the right response is no response. Saying you’re not comfortable talking about sex so early says you see a future with him in which you will be cool with talking about sex. At most I’d text back, “ok… i think we’re good here,” and then delete his number. But even better, just stop responding. He’s a creep.

I also might check the sex offender list online, just as a precaution. Lives with mom, watching women, getting neighbors’ numbers just to sext them… if he’s been charged with something and supposed to not be bothering people, you could report it.

@Kate & others – I know, I should have just shut it down right then. I’m pissed at myself because I waffled a lot about what to say in response to his texts because now I feel like a sitting duck. I mean, to be fair, the street is tiny and I can see his front porch from mine, and vice versa, so it’s not like he was making an effort to see my house.

He’s 33, apparently, and living with his mom to help her because she’s recovering from cancer. I’ve met his mom several times and talked to her; she’s perfectly nice. Apparently she has been talking me up to him and saying I’m “so nice and I walk my dog before work every morning” and kept telling him to ask me out. He’s lived there for like 2 years and I’ve heard him talk to other neighbors perfectly nicely. He seemed super nervous to talk to me, so I thought (hoped) he was harmless.

I definitely will be shutting it down now, though, because nope. I swear it seems like I sound super naive but I think “hopeful” is the better way to describe it…maybe. I’m more annoyed with myself than anyone else right now. This is why I can’t have nice things, as they say.

@Copa, weeeell never got a chance to ask him :/ We were pretty pre-occupied playing board games that we didn’t get much personal talking in. However, we did have a steamy, literally, make out session in my car, so that was nice 😉 We texted after and we both expressed our interest in going out again and that we really enjoy each others company. I swear I will ask him on the next date!

Glad to hear you had a fun date as well @Copa and even got a little action at the end 😉