DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Gave A.T. (abbreviated nickname!) a few options — axe throwing, a movie in the park with dranks and snacks, or water taxiing + exploring a new area together — and he picked axe throwing! I’m so pumped! He said he never would’ve thought to do something like that so now I get to feel like a super creative date planner, even though I feel like axe throwing is a “thing” right now.
Yes, love that axe throwing idea! Have fun! I’ve never done it before and I am like so uncoordinated but I like all the social media pics 😉 An a.t. date with A.T., heehee.
I don’t have a girl squad. Growing up I never had a best friend either. I love my friends dearly but, I realize, sometimes I do have barriers up with them. I don’t want to tell them everything, even though they wouldn’t judge. I think this makes me less close with people (friends, romantic interests).
This conversation made me think of when a friend from high school broke up with her fiance last year — they had been going out for 8 years. I could say that we had grown apart when we went to school, and it’s true, but actually there was a period the summer before they broke up that we were hanging out and I was so happy I reconnected with her.
Anyway, when they broke up, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to pry. I think I told her how sorry I was and if she needed anything, let me know. Reading more now, mostly about burden and stuff, you should just do things and not give people the burden of calling you. I can say we weren’t that close anyway, but I still regret not supporting her more in her breakup.
TrixyMinx, I know — it sounded like an incredible date and I don’t see how he didn’t see that. Not the guy for you!
First date was pretty nice! And yeah, I found him more physically attractive than his pictures 🙂 I don’t think I have any “buts” right now, hahaha. We found out that I went to the same high school as his mom, and none of us live in the city of the high school/we didn’t meet in that city, so that was just neat. Well, we’ll see I guess. I don’t want to get into a head spin of how many first dates I’ve been on and how ultimately they don’t pan out.
So I have date number three with the new guy Friday night. I had been at a work meeting three hours away that didn’t end until 6 o’clock. Sidenote, what sort of back woods organization decides to hold a six hour long meeting on a Friday afternoon?
We were supposed to get back sooner so I let him know it would be almost 9 or 930 before we can go do something and he was totally fine with it even though he lives an hour and a half away from me. So I finally got back into town and ran into my office to brush my teeth and put on a little bit more make up and freshen up and we met at an Irish bar. We closed the place down talking. And unfortunately he had to drive back because he had an event the next day early in the morning, so he drove three hours for a four hour long day and had to get up at 6 o’clock the next morning. But he sent me a text yesterday telling me that he wished the night hadn’t ended. It’s somewhat refreshing to be going on dates with a really nice guy. And I’m very much looking forward to the next date.And I really wish we had something cool like axe throwing to do lol
@hfantods Hooray for low expectations leading to positive dating outcomes! Glad you had a good time with him!
@veritek33 Glad you had a fun date, too! If it’s any consolation, I have to go to Saturday morning meetings about once every other month or so.I had a great time last night with A.T.! We went axe throwing, which was fun and different. It’s harder than it looks — the throw isn’t super intuitive or natural since it’s more about the shoulders — and it took me like 30 throws to get my axe to stick. After axe throwing, we came back to my place and had a couple drinks, talked, and made out for… a long time. (He’s stubbly and his face hurt my face. Lol.) My foster dog is friendly, but she can get a bit vocal when there are new people in our space. She was pretty good up until he went to the bathroom, and when he came back he startled her by jokingly jumping toward me on my couch, and she got bark-y and obnoxious after that. She’d quiet down, then start up again. This was like 2 a.m. so I felt bad about it (I’m in an apartment and have neighbors, and also it’s not awesome to be horizontal on the couch and having a dog yapping in your ear). I wanted to invite him to spend the night, but my mom has been in town longer than expected and she likes to come over to my place for coffee and early morning dog walks with me, and wanted to avoid any potentially awkward situations the next morning. So, he had to drive home at like 3 a.m. and I felt kinda bad about it. I think/hope there will be a date 4! He’s going on a trip for the upcoming holiday weekend so probably not for a couple weeks.
So I went on a date this week, first one in a VERY long time! The guy was nice, smart, funny, cute, the only bad thing is that he’s 10 years older, which is OK, but not my favorite thing. I just don’t really feel like I’m mature enough for that.
Anyway, we met at a work-related happy hour and he came with me to trivia with my friends afterward. Right after I got home that night, he sent me an email to my work email (hadn’t given it to him) and he sent me a linkedin request. He asked me to dinner a couple days later, so I agreed.
Dinner was fine. I actually went to his house, which is not the best idea, but we were going to a late movie and he was going to feed his pets and I wanted to meet them/kill time. Hung out for a bit, missed the movie, so I went home shortly after the movie would have started. Just a hug at the end.
After that, he texted me to say he had fun and he liked me, and I said that we could hang out at the end of the week, since this is my busiest week of the year. The next day, he texted me in the morning, then in the afternoon about future things we could do. Then he texted me this morning and knowing we were both at work, said I could come visit him at his office. He also requested to follow me on twitter. I’ve responded to his texts, but not offered much more conversation beyond that. I haven’t accepted any of his social media requests.
I think this is just how he is. My co-worker hung out with him a couple of times in the past and eventually told him she was way too busy and then ghosted him when he contacted her again. I wasn’t sure if I was into him at first since I didn’t know him that well, and now I’m just feeling really claustrophobic. There are guys that I’ve liked enough to want to talk to them all the time and see them all the time, but I choose to hold back at first because I believe in getting to know someone gradually and not overwhelming them.
Thoughts? Should I hang out once more to get an idea of how I feel? Or is it not worth the energy I will probably have to expend?
I think it’s weird that he used your work email to follow up after a date. At first I was like, oh hell no! But I re-read and saw that you met at a work happy hour. Still. That’s a no. The “come visit me at my office” is strange also.
Two dates is enough… if you’re feeling kinda chased down and also not that excited about seeing him again, don’t. And don’t feel bad.
And yeah, you shouldn’t have gone to his house.
@ver, I noticed that you’ve been on dates who live 1+ hour plus. Do you meet them on Tinder/apps? What is the radius you set?
@copa, aw yeah! Heh heh. That is too bad you likely won’t see each other for another couple weeks.
@dino, idk, if you are feeling claustrophobic, this guy doesn’t sound great. For me it was the linkedin request! Although I reread your post too and I guess you were at a work-related event so it’s “networking” but it’s a bit much if he were pursuing you romantically? I’d take a pass on this one..
I’m just under 5’1″ so I do not have a problem with finding guys taller than me so I can’t really partake in the debate of height in a relationship, but this comic was pretty funny, heh: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/things-i-have-googled-trying-to-guesstimate-mens-heights-from-their-tinder-photos/amp
Thanks for the feedback. My friends have been alternating between telling me “it’s 2017, this is what people do” and “he just likes you a lot.” So, it’s useful to hear your thoughts.
I definitely went back and added the “work” part about the happy hour before I posted because I realized the context sounded even worse without fully explaining the event. I think the linkedin thing was worse to me because we left trivia at 10pm and it was literally in my inbox by like 10:20, and so was the email.
I think he’s ready to settle down and it’s making him overeager and trying to rush things with anyone he sees as suitable. I sort of brushed off his last request about visiting him, so if he texts again, I will let him know that I’m not interested.
Side note — I have a friend who cares a lot about height, and she will always ask me a guy’s height that I’ve met, and I can never remember! I’ll say he’s probably like my height and then I see him again and realize he’s like 5’11” or something, which is 4-5 inches taller than my estimate. 😀
