DW Community Catch-up Thread
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@dinoceros If you’re feeling claustrophobic, I’d leave it. I’d be SO annoyed if I told someone I had a busy week ahead of me, and they continued to pester me instead of giving me space. Out of curiosity, how old are you that you feel 10 years older than you is too old? I just turned 31, and only just this calendar year started dating men in their late 30s. It just *sounded* too old for me, but I’ve actually found the age gap to not be an issue at all.
@hfantods yes it’s from apps. I live in a fairly smallish/medium sized town that’s mostly family friendly and not singles friendly, so if I want to meet people I have to set my radius at about 75-100 miles. I used to be pretty glued to this town because I loved my job but now that I have a job I don’t like, I’d be more willing to move for the right person. I find that if I don’t set a wide radius, I get the same guys over and over again – on all the apps.
I met this most recent guy on Bumble and he doesn’t mind being 90 minutes to 2 hours apart. Or at least that’s what he says.
@copa — Yeah, I thought telling him (even before all this) that I had a busy week ahead would at least help him manage his expectations in regard to seeing me or talking with me much. But I guess not.
I’m 31 also. He’s 42. I don’t really feel that he’s objectively too old, but in his case, he just bought a house and is sort of intending on settling down here. I know that I am not because it would probably be bad for my career and I potentially may want to move closer to family (not super restricted to where they live, but in a vague radius of like 4-5 hours or less). I wouldn’t rule out everyone his age, but it just feels like for him, 42 means that he’s super ready to get married and settle down in this home and live out his life here. I’m still trying to decide where I want to live and where I want my career to go. I’m also a little biased because most of my friends married guys who are around their age or a few years older or younger, so they’ve been in the same life stage most of the time. My one friend who is with someone about 10 years older got two teenage stepkids at the time (in her 20s), so it was definitely a more extreme transition for her. But I know as time goes on, I need to make sure I”m not superficially judging people’s ages if we’re a good fit otherwise.
excited to read about all the fun dates!!
Also, I’ve really really wanted to do Axe-throwing as well 🙂
Trixy: ugh i know that feeling. Definitely had a friend like that in high school that i was totally in love with, but.. he ended up dating this Freshman. Finally after years and years of back and forth and drama and just ugh.. we started to ‘see each other’ one summer i was home from college. It was intense, but not a match physically or really time wise. I ended up kinda throwing him away and returning to life back at college after summer ended. Unfortunately that was the end of our friendship too. but i understand that intellectual intensity. it’s so stimulating and intimate, but… when it’s not the whole package it’s like waiting to climax and being “RIGHT THERE” and then.. wahwah
I guess with all these dating updates I will provide my own! Been seeing a guy for just over a month that I met online (OKCupid). Definitely a breath of fresh air dating him as he reassures me with words and actions that he enjoys my company and wants to keep seeing me. I feel more confident with our dating than I have with past guys I have dated this year, so it makes it easier to enjoy the dating and not worry about whether it will go anywhere, as I really think there is some long term potential.
He moved to Alberta from northern Ontario 4 years ago, is a mechanical engineer, enjoys weightlifting, running, hiking, cooking and rock climbing. Has a killer bod 😉 He told me about a groupon deal for a local rock climbing center, so for almost 3 weeks we have been going once a week to climb together now that I am certified belayer. He is very silly and loves puns, I balance it out with my dirty jokes. I am moving to the city this weekend and he is helping me with the move in on the weekend by tagging along to do furniture pick up and an IKEA run. So a huge help for me! He then told me last night he has a dinner menu made up for my first night in the new place, a total surprise to me as we only discussed briefly potential meal ideas that night. He has shown many times his caring and thoughtful side, which is very admirable. I am hoping for the best! Keeping it real and taking week by week.
@Cleopatra_30 WOW WAY TO STEAL EVERYONE ELSE’S THUNDER. Just kidding! Your update is great! I think it’s really sweet that he already has a dinner menu planned for the first night at your new place. ETA: I’ve had a ton of fun on an IKEA date and also building IKDEA furniture with a couple different dudes.
@veritek33 It’s been ages (cue the ‘It’s been 83 years’ Titanic meme), but my last serious boyfriend was maybe 80 miles away, so the drive was a little more than an hour. I’m sure you’re also experienced in this, but I think it’s a doable distance. Weekday dates were harder for us to arrange due to work schedules, but we would make an effort meeting up halfway and exploring other towns when the full drive wasn’t a great option.Where the heck is @MissDre? How are things with you?
@TheLadyE How are things your way? I know weekends are always the weirdest for me post-breakup, so I hope you had a good one!@Copa awwww thanks for thinking of me! 🙂
I’m still here, following along. Just kinda feel like I don’t have much to share lately. Things are good. Leaving for the UK on Thursday. Bf is taking me to Belfast as a belated b-day trip (did I tell you guys that?).
I’ve been thinking a lot (A LOT) about the possibility of moving next year, but I don’t really want to bring it up again unless he does. I told him how I felt, so the ball is in his court I guess. Even though “planner-me” wants to get the details locked down, “logical-me” knows that any possible move wouldn’t be for another year, so there’s no rush to make decisions right now.
In the meantime I’m just reading everybody else’s updates 🙂
@Copa – our first date was a weeknight at a town right in the middle, so about a 45 minute drive. It’s totally doable during the week and it’s a town with lots to do.
I did ask him yesterday, how do you feel about dating someone that lives 90 minutes away? He said he’s definitely up for trying it, and he’s already shown more interest and willingness to make plans than others before him, so I’m willing to give it a try as well. (Not that we’ve had any sort of discussion about the future, it’s only been three dates, but I figured it doesn’t hurt to ask if he saw the distance as a major or minor problem. He didn’t seemed phased by it.)
Sounds like everyone is going on great dates! Keep the updates coming!
@ver, ah got it. I hope that didn’t come across accusatory. I never opened up my radius so large, but I am fortunate that I don’t need to (although I keep swiping!). Meeting halfway — 45 minutes seems very doable.
@cleo, best update!! I had such a smile on my face reading it.
@Copa, Thanks for asking 🙂 I’m still pretty sad but I’m trying to funnel the energy into creativity and I’ve started writing more (again) and want to get into some creative pursuits I’ve wanted to try for literally years. I can’t sit around feeling sad anymore.
