I honestly really enjoy travelling alone! I get to do what I want when I want, and no need to arrange a schedule with another person. I think you will enjoy your vacation @Ale! Start planning all the fun things you can do on it to get hyped up. You will probably meet some like minded people on the trip 🙂

I am doing my Hawaii trip alone, and am SO pumped! I have been thinking off an on about all the cool stuff I can do, and having the freedom to do them. So don’t worry 🙂

@TheLadyE I really like stand up comedy and am super curious now what yours is like! Any chance you have those recordings or any video material out on the interwebs?!

I know life is lonely sometimes but this year I’ve felt the loneliest ever, sometimes even during my relationship. I have had suicidal thoughts, I know how I would commit suicide if I ever did, all of that. Those thoughts ended when I broke up but have recently resurfaced.
I did have a therapist but he became insanely expensive, I can’t afford him now and honestly, he wasn’t that much help anyways.
Sometimes I reach out to friends but they are almost all busy most of the time. I don’t feel like I have a secure circle of friends.
I’m not going to lie, and obviously this is all linked to seeing my ex super happy all pver the place. I even found out that his best friend (woman, married) gave him a trip to Cancun for his upcoming birthday. No one would ever do such a thing for me. And I am a good person.
That is why I hate comparisons. Because I compare myself to what other people have and end up feeling like shit.
Changing jobs is a MUST but nothing good has come up yet.
And I do think it is about changing my narrative. I need to change the way I view things that is why I’ve only allowed myself to be sad today and starting tomorrow I will start to try and think of all the things I have instead of the ones I don’t.

@Ale, I feel for you so much. I’ve been where you are. I’ve had some health issues lately and was severely depressed for several months last year and early this year, including passive suicidal ideation like you describe (+ severe anxiety + panic attacks). It’s so difficult not to compare yourself to others when you’re going through dark times like that, and it does seem like everyone is off living their best lives while you’re suffering. (Spoiler alert: they’re not)

I also felt like most of my friends scattered like cockroaches as soon as I really, really needed them. The good friends, though, actually did show up once I was finally honest with them about how severe my depression was, which admittedly took me a while as I’m very prideful and hate asking for help. I did lose some friends, including having a falling out with one of my best friends, but now that I’m mostly healthy again, I realize I’m better off without them. I’ve also strengthened my relationships with the good friends and even made some new friends with whom I’m more compatible.

When you’ve reached out to your friends, were you honest about exactly what’s going on and that this is, you know, more than just complaining about a breakup? Other than that, definitely keep looking for a therapist you like and can afford and also probably a psychiatrist. My therapist has been a godsend, for real. Also, know that you are NOT alone in feeling like you do. I know it’s tough, but so are you, and you can get through this!

Get some, Dre!

@Ale, I am so sorry to hear you’re feeling lonely. Giving you big hugs. While I think this is more serious and doing just trivial things won’t fix it, sometimes when I’m down I just think of a “treat yourself” moment a la Parks and Rec. Do things for you. I’ve never known “not lonely” “in a relationship” but it’s really pleasant spending time in a park with a good coffee and reading. And truly, you do not know what your ex is going through even if he’s putting on a happy face. And it doesn’t matter anyway. From what you’ve told us, he is a major asshole.

@TheLadyE, that is amazing!! I too would love to see your work when it’s available.

Have fun @Dre!

@TheHizzy, that sounds painful but yay?! Haha.

Ok the guy has planned second date really well and now I’m a little nervous. I kind of find second dates harder than first dates, because I generally have low expectations for the latter whereas there’s now more on the line for the second? It’s possible I won’t like him as much or vice versa. Anyway we’re going hiking in the afternoon followed by a local ribfest. Which also, ha, omg, how to be ladylike and eat ribs. I’m totally kidding (but kind of not).

If you guys were really a good match one of you would have pursued something while you were single. I think that with opposite gender friends there can be a… sense of comfort from knowing that they are out there and available but it isn’t the same as actual romantic compatibility.