DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Congrats, ver! Really happy for you, sounds like a great job!
@Copa, Cleo is so cute — as must be your dog! That’s awesome you worked out the walking schedule with your neighbour. I’m glad you are meeting/chatting with other guys too 🙂
Last night with the guy was low-key and nice. He offered to pick me up from the airport and I wanted to see him again, so I said yes. Now I’m thinking that I usually dress like sh*t on planes/in really really comfortable clothes, so I’ll have to look somewhat cute, ha ha. I’m happy to continue getting to know him.
I keep typing to vent, and then it’s just airing such dirty laundry.
Basically – ex claimed she didn’t fill out 2016 taxes and so kiddo is fucked for FAFSA next year, after she already fucked her over for 2017 school year. Leaning to the kiddo having to LEAVE COLLEGE and either move here or move in with BF’s brother.
Sigh…..adult kids weren’t supposed to be as stressful as young kids. LOL!!!
Nothing wrong with a “gap year” or “time off” but ex will try to guilt kiddo to moving back with her and her narcissist ways.
Oooh. Yeah. @TheHizzy Ex sounds like a doozie! Sorry you have to deal with that. There are worse things than a gap year, but if it’s cause the mom didn’t file her taxes and can’t get financial aid!? That’s irresponsible on her part, so a gap year may not even be what her kid wants! Are you guys living together/how would you feel if the kid had to move in with you guys? (I’m always curious about the dynamics of your relationship with your boyfriend’s kids because of how I feel about kids. I’ve wondered if I could deal with a partner with kids from a previous relationship, and older kids do sound less stressful. Until something like this happens, I suppose.)
@Copa – the ex is really irresponsible. Kid doesn’t want a gap year, but she might be forced to. The kid had a job when she lived at home, 10 minute drive down the road. Mom would rather sleep than drive her to work, wouldn’t take her to school events and didn’t move her to college as she promised. Often BF would try to meet halfway with EX to exchange kids because it was an hour round trip, she always refused. She has done this to all 3 of her kids. I just do not get it. I have never met her, I saw her at the youngest graduation from HS and just smiled at her. She tells the kids all the time “He’ll cheat on her, she’s a bitch, don’t get attached.” Drama-llama! Keep me removed from her!
When I went into this relationship he said “We’re all about to start our own lives” as in, the kids were all about to be adults and moving on to the next thing. He was *SURE* none would ever live with us, and was against it. I told him last night I assume each one will live with us, temporarily, over the course of the years. I’m just firm on setting ground rules and him sticking by them, which isn’t a problem according to him.
He kind of landed the bomb of her moving in last night, which I’m fine with as long as she’s doing the following (A) Working; (B) Attending or working to attend school; (C) Paying some sort of rent to learn money. It just is like…this might be happening at the end of this month rather than end of the school year. One of his kids is already planning to move so we were discussing the two moving in together. But that wouldn’t be until January. I’m close with his oldest, her mother passed several years ago so I’m defacto mentor, but she’s cool. All his kids are. His son’s fiancee told him last night that she missed me, not bad for a teen girl. He’s going there next week when I go to my home state and she was bummed *I* wasn’t going to be there.
Freaking kids, they get you every time.
——PSA : STILL DON’T WANT ANY OF MY OWN!@TheHizzy – I thought my kids would get easier as they got older too. And they did in some ways. But now it’s Adult Kid Problems (mostly). We have a 22 yo daughter who just can’t seem to get things together. Though she is starting vet tech school (part-time) in October. But she can’t seem to get a job. (she had a retail job but broke her foot at home and couldn’t work for a long while). She’s been looking/applying for 2-3 months! I’m really frustrated about that as that was the deal. She pay for her car/insurance and she can stay with us. Sigh…I don’t want her to be homeless and she does seem to have more direction now with school and all but she still needs to be able to pay her bills!
Our other daughter is 17 and a senior in HS, so almost done with her. She is the opposite. Has had a job for a year and pays everything on time (we pay for her car and she pays the insurance). I know technically she isn’t an adult but acts more like one than her older sister.
And these are our own kids! They fight like cats and dogs too..such different personalities…like night and day.
I love them both but I really can’t wait to have the house to ourselves!
Ok…end rant…sorry!@Rangerchic I too have a 22 & 17 year old daughters. Your 22 year old sounds just like mine. I don’t see no drive in her, she lost her job about 3 months ago, doesn’t seem interested in school and it is driving me crazy seeing her just there not doing anything. My 17 year old seems to have her shit together, she has been thinking about looking for a job and is doing great in school. I see her studying all the time and talks to me about the colleges she is thinking about applying too. Like you said they are night and day, sighhh
Hizzy ..sorry, semi lurker jumping on this thread…Why not suggest she go be an aupair in Europe for the year or part of it? It doesn’t cost anything but the plane ticket. My go to idea as I did this after high school and absolutely loved it!
The kid is only a small portion of the problem. The EX is the main part. Just lots of empty promises. Neither her or BF can financially afford college for her without loans. I think he’s sending some more, and she is sending some, to buy some time for her to try for more scholarships. We’ll see how next semester goes too.
Going across the pond to be an aupair wouldn’t really fit her. I would like for her to come here, establish residency, and find a school here. There’s plenty to pick from. But, I also don’t want to give up the privacy BF and I just got.
Tough choices coming up.So they’re “buying” her another month. BF and EX will be splitting it while she finds more scholarships. I’ll believe it when EX actually sends money.
Update on EX drama : BF sent his kiddo the agreed moolah he promised. Waiting on his ex to send money. Today is the dealine. I’m on the edge of my seat.
@TheHizzy Part of the reason I’d shy away from dating someone who has kids — other than the fact that I’m “meh” about kids — is what you’re going through: The ex will always be in the picture if there is a co-parenting relationship. I’m sure there are plenty of examples where this all works out quite nicely and all the parents/adults get along, but there’s also the chance of becoming embroiled in ex drama.
So over the weekend, my cousin came to visit (and we ran a half marathon in a heat wave, and it sucked!). Awkward Texter and I tried to schedule a sorta impromptu date last night and just couldn’t get it together. We were both tired. He had just come back from a trip and wanted to see me, but I had my cousin with me until her flight left late in the evening. Since we were both exhausted and the timing was bad, we had to postpone. Hopefully soon, though!
Tomorrow night I have a first date with a new guy — let’s call him Constant Texter — and I’m actually excited. (Wish I wasn’t because I prefer having low/no expectations.) We seem to have a lot in common. So we’ll see how it goes! We’re going to a wine/tapas bar.
