DW Community Catch-up Thread
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October 23, 2017 at 12:02 pm #724945
I can’t imagine moving in with someone if I felt too inhibited to say I love you. If you can’t speak up enough to say how you feel you aren’t ready for the next step in the relationship. Communication is one of the foundations that is essential to a successful relationship.
I’m a lawyer. I don’t practice, but work in the legal industry, so I still have to work with and around lawyers. I don’t hate all lawyers — I like all the attorneys who work for at company (some practice, most don’t) — but man, if one industry wins for attracting the most irritating personalities, it’s law. I don’t miss the people I was in law school with one bit.
October 23, 2017 at 12:27 pm #724948@Copa, well I’m an engineer and I think you’re fabulous 🙂
Sorry to hear about thing with CT, but hope you have a good chat with the therapist tonight
TheHizzyOctober 23, 2017 at 12:30 pm #724950I’m an engineer too and I struggle with low self-esteem and I struggle to tell my boyfriend that I love him even though I really really do. Beyond words. That said, I wouldn’t have held off for a year because I was scared. It’s up to you if you think it’s a deal breaker. I would ask him about it….or heck, JUST SAY IT! 🙂 Love is great.
MissDreOctober 23, 2017 at 12:33 pm #724951@lucia_la I completely understand how scary it can be to come out and say those words first.
But I’ll agree with the others that if this is something spinning in the back of your mind, you absolutely do need to get that out in the open and dealt with before moving in with this guy.
You need to be brave enough to communicate how you feel, even when it’s scary to be vulnerable. And you certainly need to define your relationship and define what “moving in” means to both of you.
Because to one person, moving in may just mean “I like this person, and this is convenient.”
Whereas to the other person it may mean “We’re taking steps towards building a future together.”
So…. yeah. Get that I Love You mystery out of the way. No more guessing games
October 23, 2017 at 12:41 pm #724953I pretty much dated engineers or more analytical people. First husband was an engineer but not a frat guy (although he did live in a house with 8 guys), but he had that ‘charming’ characteristic which was, in reality, narcissism and general asshattery. college boyfriend was business but ROTC and fraternity dude. Also charming. total sweetheart though and owned his douchey-ness (almost made it comedic).
RadioStar: also engineer and was in a fratnerity (I was in a sorority, but again, we were both at nerd-schools), so he’s more of the responsible fraternity guy. He has the charming and fun personality but rounds it out well with loyalty and honesty. If I had met him 10 years ago, he may not have been the right person for me, but with some life behind him, it works well.
October 23, 2017 at 12:43 pm #724954@K and others- I have dated a lot of engineers! Primarily software/hardware engineers. And a high number of ones that work for a certain fruit-named company, ha. But I also live in that area anyway so it’s hard to avoid. I have to say, though, that a lot of them have been endearingly nerdy! My boyfriend is completely not my type at first glance (he works in a specialized trade that you’d consider blue collar, is definitely not nerdy) and when we were first dating I wasn’t sure how it was going to go, but we go together really well. (And we’ve just been dating for 10 months, so, so far so good I guess?)
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