My husband texted me a lot when we first met. He’s a communicator. I let him know I couldn’t text that much and didn’t have an unlimited plan, and he cut back to a level I was comfortable with.

I agree with @Kate. Guys on the app are there to date, ladies on the app are there to date. You can just “talk” to some of them but they’re going to want to date or hook up. If you’re not ready, there’s no rush. I swiped before I was ready to date and I missed out on some potential guys because of my stupidity.

Lots of interesting discussion here. My sister met her husband off Plenty of Fish (known to be the sketch one in our area, haha) seven years ago. She had been online dating for about a couple months and went out with less than 10 guys. I think her husband had just joined and she was maybe the first and only girl he met. So it just worked out for them.

For me, I signed up on OKC on a whim five years ago. Went out on my first date ever, which went well and I naively thought it was all so easy, went on a second and realized I was not into him. Didn’t use the site until two years later and by then (2014) Tinder was becoming less of a hook up app so I got that. Still didn’t go on a first date until spring 2015. Since then I’ve been on maybe 10-11 first dates. I filter really hard. Also my OKC profile was probably never the best (hate talking about myself) and I’m cute but not a bombshell. So I didn’t get that many messages. Of those ten, I think 2 went to second date, 2 went to a third date and one to five dates and then the guy I’m seeing now…!

So just wanted to share some happier updates! The cottage was really nice. It was a beautiful place to getaway. This was the longest we spent together, like 48 hours, but other people were there of course. We spent 7 hours in total in the car and basically talked throughout both silly and more serious stuff. I’m curious to know if there are certain questions I should be asking around the two month mark. We haven’t talked kids because I don’t totally know my own position.

I’m constantly checking to make sure I’m not doing this because I want to be in a relationship, especially since this is my first one. He’s kind and basically a good “starter relationship”, as in he’s a nice guy in general and understanding. I don’t mean it pejoratively. I need this comfort but I don’t want to “use” him. The physical attraction continues to grow. He’s not unattractive and there are certain features of him that I find hot. I just wouldn’t pick him out on the street. It’s like how Lianne phrased it — there’s a certain “magnetism”.

Overall, still seeing how this goes and having fun. Maybe a little thing is learning how guys act around each other. We went to his friend’s birthday dinner straight from the cottage. I was tired but I’m glad I went and I think the friend appreciated it. M.G. is kind of immature with his friend though and they constantly rib each other, though I think M.G. instigates more. I think this is a guy thing? I’ve noticed M.G. is polite and good with waiters and service people in elevators for example so it’s not that he’s only nice to me and rude to others not that he’s rude to his friend.

@hfantods It sounds like you’re overthinking things! There’s no rule about what you should or shouldn’t be talking about two months in. You’re still learning about them, and trying to figure out if you’re compatible and if your longer-term goals align. @TheHizzy has some good things ideas about the kinds of things you can asked. (I actually love asking people what they were like in high school, haha.) As far as when to talk about kids, I’ve talked to dates about kids as early as the first date! I put myself in the “uncertain about kids” category. I’m pretty sure one guy I went out with, who was 40 and divorced and definitely wanted kids, weeded me out after one date because my answer was all, “Erm, not sure, maybe?” And that’s fine.

Alright, on scale of 1-10, how excited should I be for a second date with someone? My date from Sunday wants to go out again. I thought he was nice and attractive, but I am also thinking we’ve already come close to exhausting all we have to talk about, so I’m not excited. Seems kinda dumb to pass on him this quickly since he seems like a genuinely nice guy, but I also feel like… I mean, I just wanna be a LITTLE excited.

I mean, I think he’s attractive, so yeah, I’d kiss him. He seemed shy and a bit uncomfortable last time, so I think it’s worth going out with him again to see if familiarity makes things feel a little easier, but I suppose I’m worried about forcing the conversation for two hours.