DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Lurker here.
I met this guy on Tinder the beginning of December. Our first date was mid-December and we saw each other two more times after that. We’ve been busy and/or out of town the past few weeks so I haven’t seen him in three weeks. I pointed this out to him and he has said multiple times that he’s really interested, that he wouldn’t respond if he wasn’t, and that his schedule will free up in a week or two.
I try not to think I’m the exception, so I’m wondering if this is just some line that guys feed girls to keep them on the hook. We do text every day, and he does initiate, so I just don’t really know where this is all going. And I don’t know if it’s just my anxiety reacting to all of this.
It’s not a good sign that he’s told you multiple times he’s really interested and wouldn’t respond if he wasn’t. What’s that in response to? Have you questioned multiple times whether he’s interested? That’s a bit much. If you’re not both out of town and he’s not available for dates, he’s not interested.
@cinnabon I dunno. I do get busy and bogged down with work sometimes, and it makes dating stressful. However, when I am very busy, I still try to make plans farther out. Like, “Oh, I have a work trip that week. Does Tuesday the 3rd work for you?” Or something along those lines. I’ve had guys do similar things. If he’s not trying to make concrete plans, I’d back off to see what happens. Don’t invest too much energy in him after three dates. Keep meeting other dudes. It’s rough out there (believe me, I know), but it’s not worth waiting around for a guy who is perpetually “too busy.” Busy people make time.
I brought it up one time, after we had had trouble nailing down a fourth date. The past month, he has been out of town every weekend (hunting season), so he had said he would free up a ton this upcoming week or two.
I think @copa is right though. It sucks and is hard not to invest, but that’s just the reality of the situation.
If he’s not even attempting to pick a date to see you again, he’s not interested. As you said, he’s happy enough to keep you on the hook so you’ll meet up with him whenever he eventually feels like it… he likes having you as an option.
But if he actually really liked you, he’d make arrangements to see you on a Thursday evening or something in between his hunting trips.
This is a non-event, but my handsome new neighbor and I were chatting last night and started talking about hanging out. We were going to swap phone numbers and then realized neither of us had brought our phones with us to walk our dogs.
Oh, and I was on the bus this morning and saw a guy I went on a Tinder date with maybe last year. On our date, and when he contacted me after, he asked me if I “thought I could could keep up.” We never went out again. Took me a hot second to figure out why he looked familiar.
He values his hunting time more than getting to know you @cinnabon. I’d start seeing other people. Don’t put your life on hold for some guy you just met.
Moving! January is the month of change for me, historically. We are moving our whole family back to the east coast from the West in two weeks. I’m excited, and sad, and a lot of things. But I’m prepared and already mostly packed. I feel like a moving ninja, and that maybe I should start a blog about moving. I have moved so many times I don’t want to know the real number.
Any one have any tips about areas to live near Philly?
Happy new year.I do! Welcome to Philly. I need more info though to give you a recommendation. Any geographic constraints? Do you have kids?
Congrats!!!!! Glad you can share it here 🙂
Re hunting, yeah I agree with above. I wouldn’t reschedule my hobbies for a guy I just met, but it seems like a lot if he’s away every weekend for a hobby. He really should make a better effort to reschedule. But if his schedule is easing up, I guess you can continue to see him but keep your options open too.
