DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Sounds like a big fat jerk! He’s an idiot Copa. You told him what you had to, it’s not your fault. It’s ok. It’s a good thing that he now knows that he is going through life as a jerk. And if he doesn’t move it shouldn’t concern you, because you will be fine by then.
@veritek33 ..You probably already made a decision but I do love the first one too. Thanks for letting us vicariously shop!
@Copa WTH. Why would he go flakey on a neighbor? That’s super immature of him. I’m so so sorry he did that to you. But Drunk Copa sounds pretty damn awesome…said some things you needed to say and he sure as hell needed to hear. And I really hate the dick/naked pic guys. If you havent seen it in real life and expressed a desire for pics whyever would they think its ok?
My update – had a date with the AG from bumble again on Friday. Been seeing each other regularly. We were supposed to go to get sushi (sugarfish for the CA people) and …kinda never made it out the door. We both knew it was coming and had had the “I’ve been tested since my last relationship, I’m clean and on birth control but you’re going to want to stock up on condoms or its going to be a firm no” sort of talk already. Several hours later, we ordered delivery from the same place. We’re going out to dinner – and actually making it to the restaurant – later on in the week.
Okay, thanks for the reassurance that he’s a jerk. I keep feeling like I did something to deserve what happened and feel really embarrassed that I was so excited about him, feel really embarrassed that I thought he actually liked me and wanted to get to know me. I feel really sad today. I mean, I knew he wasn’t interested in me when all this happened in like April, but I still feel down about the whole thing. I think it’s time for a bit of a dating break. Now might be a good time since I have a work trip, am moving into a new unit, and a wedding all coming up in the next handful of weeks.
Also, remember last summer when I posted about my ex’s wife who was creeping HARD on my Instagram? After a few months, she disappeared and I assumed it was because she learned you can see who views your stories. She had a sloppy sleuthing moment last night and it turns out she’s still a creepy weirdo. Guuurl, get a life, it’s been like four years since your husband and I were an item!
Copa, ugh, good on you but no on both accounts! Was this the guy who said you were the most fit girl he’s “dated”? I hope Neighbor Guy has enough shame to move after his lease is done jkjk but not really.
I went to a friend’s 29th bday party this weekend. She announced she’s going to do one new date a week for the year (then cut to twice a month). I guess I felt a bit judged before by her for using apps (and she said she never would use apps) so I had mixed emotions? but I’m excited to see how that works for her!
Yes, the one who sent me the naked bed photo is the one who said I’d be the most fit girl he’s ever dated. I actually got the text just as I was wrapping up my therapy appointment on Friday, when I pulled out my phone to add my next session to my calendar. I showed my therapist the photo and we laughed.
Neighbor Guy doesn’t seem to have any shame. I feel like everything I said didn’t matter, I doubt it resonated with him. His rent is super cheap (my new unit’s rent is, as well), so I don’t think he’ll move, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
I know people who have married their close neighbors, dormmates, etc and my thought has always been to think about how I’d be too worried about dating them a few times and then running into them constantly and how I’d have to move.
The worst part is seeing him with some other girl. Oof. I’ve been using my back door lately but I’ve decided to stop doing it on principle. He’s the one who made things more awkward than they need to be, he can use his back door.
I’m not sure I understand all the facts, but I would say if you realize you’re doing all the work to set up time to see somebody, and they’re not really reciprocating, then you figure their interest level is low/casual to none, and take a step back, stop reaching out, and see what they do. If they don’t step up, then you know they’re not interested, or only very casually. I think if you did anything “wrong,” it was not acknowledging to yourself that he didn’t seem interested in dating, just like a casual making out / hooking up thing of convenience. At the same time, he knew you were taking it more seriously and didn’t do anything about communicating to you that he didn’t see it going anywhere. Which in an ideal world he would have.
I guess there were things he was doing that made me thing his interest was genuine (e.g., going on actual dates, inviting me to spend the night). I guess I can’t speak for everyone, but to me those are signs of interest and I personally wouldn’t bother with things like that if my interest was only casual.
Maybe I misunderstood – I thought you said you were the one always doing the legwork to set stuff up.
The last week, yes, he declined a two invites because he had back to back trips with a couple workdays in town between them. I honestly didn’t think much of that, things had seemed fine up until then, but I pulled back figuring he would get in touch when he was back. He didn’t. I understood then that he was not interested, but yeah, I do feel like he led me on (and he admitted to it yesterday) and made it seem like he was genuinely interested when he wasn’t. I also think because of the proximity to one another, he really should’ve said something instead of, like, crossing the street to avoid me. I do recognize this isn’t that big of a deal, we didn’t date long and it wasn’t serious. I was never convinced we were soulmates or anything like that. But it does hurt my feelings, I feel dumb, and don’t like having to see him.
