DW Community Catch-up Thread
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@Copa – Delete him. It’ll feel better. I did that with an ex that I struggled to get over and now I’m all “Oh, yeah, I used to know him but couldn’t’ give two fucks less about him now” You guys didn’t date long, you for sure have too much invested in this guy.
@Dre – Still curious how your last trip went!
@Ale Did either of you end up changing jobs? I can’t recall. That sucks way worse. A few years ago one of my friends dated a guy she met at work for a couple months. He ended things to get back together with his ex. My friend couldn’t handle it and caused so much drama. She didn’t handle things gracefully at all. I thought it was ridiculous because it was such a brief relationship, but I empathize way more now that I know what it feels like to have no choice but to see them when you’d rather not.
No, neither of us changed jobs. It was hard specially because I kept seeing him and even saw him a lot with his best friend who was a third person during our whole relationship and who even had a lot to do with out breakup and who works there too. It seemed like everywhere I looked, there they were. I think I’m not over it yet but my job is way too good to leave. And having the realization that getting over it was going to be harder, because he is always there, actually does help. This means that at first I said “I’ll never get over it working here” and the I changed it to “I will get over it, it will be harder though”. Changing the narrative does help
@Copa, I’m sorry, that does suck. It also shows his lack of maturity and judgement. I’d guess that the woman is driving the relationship based on what you’ve said, so it probably won’t last. I totally understand the apprehension in seeing him/them and not being able to get away from them. It’s just so much easier when you don’t have to see them ever again. I’m thinking of you & hoping you get some peace soon. 🙂
I’ve been talking to a guy on Match and he wants to meet. We’ll see how it goes. Meanwhile, Instagram guy is posting a bunch of pics about how he lost 20lbs and stopped drinking and is on this whole journey of self discovery. It’s…entertaining.
Hey, @ktfran, I was wondering if you could tell the story of how you & your husband got together in the early stages? Like who asked who out, how did it all go…etc? Just wondering. 🙂 I realized we read about it in real time but I don’t know the ebbs and flows!
@TheLadyE Eh, I can’t really tell who is “driving” their relationship. Living on the first floor, I can tell he still lives his life in party mode. His company does marketing for alcohol companies and has a boozy frat party culture (open bar during work). When he first told me about his job, he’d been there maybe seven months and said the first six he went too crazy with all the free booze… he was all “new year, new me.” The “new him” lasted about two months. Ha. Point being, if that’s where he is in life, it’s not terribly surprising to me that he’d date a 23-year-old. I would’ve loved that scene at 23. In my early 30s, no, I don’t want to go to da club until 4 a.m. every single weekend. We’re not compatible. I do actually know this, but he hurt my feelings and made me feel super rejected/stupid the way he chose to handle everything.
@Copa When I said “driving the relationship” I kind of meant driving it to be FB official. I’ve never run into a guy who really cares that much about a relationship being FB-official.
I’m really sorry that he hurt you; you didn’t deserve that and he sounds super immature.
Ironically, today is the 1-year anniversary of my first date with my most recent ex-boyfriend. We went to Panera for a quick dinner and he wanted to split a smoothie. I wanted a green smoothie but he insisted on strawberry banana because “the banana makes it creamier” even though I don’t really like those, but I conceded. In hindsight, he did that a few times and it should’ve been a yellow flag that he wasn’t ready to take someone else’s needs/desires into consideration when making decisions. So today I took myself to Panera and got myself a damn green smoothie and it was delicious. Sometimes it’s the little things.
E, why didn’t you just say, you know what, I love a green smoothie, you go ahead and get strawberry banana, I’ll get my own green one. And then order a green one and pay for it yourself?
Because it was our first date and he offered to buy one for us to split. It wasn’t a huge deal at the time…like I said, yellow flag. Since he totally flaked on me, though, I commemorated the day by getting the one I would’ve preferred.
