DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Yay, Copa!!! I’ve been reading along and I’m so glad this guy is so nice and genuine! I also think it’s a good sign you’re not feeling that infatuation. I, too, took some time with my bf (who I met on Tinder of all places) to see how I felt about him. I knew there was something I liked about him, and figured that was enough to keep seeing him. And it just grew from there. As long as you are enjoying your time with him, just see where it goes!
Also, Ktfran, that’s really cute about the gummy sharks!
Oh, I definitely look forward to seeing Bumble Guy again.
I honestly don’t think initial infatuations are great — it’s fun and makes things exciting, but then look at guys like Neighbor where things end on a shitty, awkward note, and it was/is harder for me to get over than it should’ve been because I’d blown it up in my head as more than it was (plus the proximity thing). I guess what I miss with online dating is that initial excitement of having a crush? Like, with Neighbor, I don’t even remember the first time we met — but I remember when I became aware of him and started running into him all the time. And realizing, hey, that guy was cute! And then standing in the cold talking to him, probably giving him the googley eyes, getting to know little bits about him, and hoping we’d have our next run-in soon. And wondering if the attraction was mutual. And then HELL YEAH, he asked for my number! With online dating, you just start on a different page, you know? The build-up isn’t there. It’s not necessarily bad — in some ways, it’s easier because you know they’re single and looking — it’s just different. But when I think about “excited to be dating,” I think about guys like Neighbor. With this guy it’s not that kind of excitement. It’s more, like… that was fun, I think we’d have so many fun adventures if we keep dating. (Does this make any sense?)
Also, I’ve avoided writing this on here because I think it sounds dumb. But I keep having moments where Bumble Guy says EXACTLY something I’ve said, felt, or thought very recently. And those moments have been standing out to me as meaningful.
I know *exactly* what you mean. I once dated a neighbor (like 10 years ago, it did not end well either) and it went exactly like you describe! Except we met at 4am outside my building when the fire alarm went off. 😛
But yeah. I, for one, get what you mean!@Copa you articulated really well the difference between online and “real life” dating. I did have one past relationship stem from online dating, but usually I sort of dreaded the dates because I had no idea what I was getting into.
I have thought about this too. The last time I might have been infatuated was university. That passing by him in the hallway or just being super aware of his presence. A real crush. After that I didn’t meet people in real life who I was interested in so I can’t say for sure. With OLD it’s such a short initial meeting that it’s hard to develop that infatuation in your head I guess.
Yeah, when I meet someone IRL and have a crush on them, my decisions are always far more emotion-driven, even when I logically know the guy isn’t that great or that great FOR me. Like @MissDre, I make a lot more excuses for crappy behavior — I’m basically an LW! Ha. When I’ve met someone IRL and it’s a bad fit, it takes a bit for my logic to catch up with the emotions I’m feeling.
With online dating, my decision-making is more logical. I do have a bit of a hard time with that because it feels like some of that magic is missing. I’m trying now to see if it’s possible for emotions to catch up to logic — I figure as long as we’re both having fun, I can give it a couple months and I’ll have a better idea of what I feel. Judging from what I’m reading here, a lot of you have experienced that.
Have you guys seen Elf? There’s that scene where Will Ferrell bursts into his dad’s office and exclaims, “I’m in love, I’m in love, and I don’t care who knows it!” as he spins around and throws his hat. That’s how real-life crushes make me feel, haha.
It took me a few dates to feel like I was really into my now husband (we met on Match). On like the fifth date I realized I was excited to see him and had some butterflies. Before that, I kept going out with him because he was good company and had great dating behavior if that makes sense. So it took a few dates to really feel a connection, but then it was a strong connection and things really progressed. We felt like soul mates, NOT that I believe in just one soul mate, but yeah, very strong bond.
“When I’ve met someone IRL and it’s a bad fit, it takes a bit for my logic to catch up with the emotions I’m feeling.”
This is not your fault,it’s actually the way the human mind works. My therapist explained this to me when I asked him why we were so quick to see other people’s relationship’s issues so clear but not our own. Infatuation and other emotions influence on the decision making process, instead of logical thoughts.
If you think about it, this is an advantage of online dating. Makes you take decisions more logically because you still don’t have any attachment to the person yet. But if you are a passion-driven person, that wants a ton com kind of love, then yes, you could not like it.
I am almost certain that if I saw my ex boyfriend of three years on tinder, without knowing him of course, I would swiped left. But, since I met him at work, even knowing that maybe we weren’t a match, emotions took over and well, I lasted three years there.
So, long story, but on this past Friday both of my parents ended up in the emergency room. (Heat exhaustion) They were taken by ambulance to the local hospital and both released, doing fine now.
I just wanted to tell you how wonderful MofV was through the whole thing. He had not planned on coming up until Saturday morning, but when this happened Friday afternoon he got in his car and drove up to meet me that night. Brought my favorite wine, my mom’s favorite lemonade, and picked up pizza for us. Sat and visited with my mom all night while dad was admitted for observation. Went with me to my hometown the next day to pick up dad from the hospital and ate lunch with me and my parents – all of our plans for the weekend had gone out the window but he didn’t even bat an eye. THEN he ordered me to take a nap (because bouncing between two ER rooms and explaining to the receptionist that BOTH of your parents are patients is sort of exhausting.
Again, long story short, I sure do love that man.
Ahh. That’s great Ver. Not great that your parents were in the hospital. But awesome that MoV was so supportive. Awesome.
That’s great Veritek. It’s in this situations when you realize people’s true colors and sure, MoV has stepped up.
I’m back to work from my month-long vacation and dreading it. I was actually happy to be back, really excited to see my coworkers, and then one of them told me I came back “fat”.
Then I saw my ex and felt incredibly anxious.
Some things never change.
