I really liked living alone and am a neat freak. I worried about that, but my husband keeps things neat and clean and cooks and it’s fine. Having 2 bathrooms really helps.

@alafair Are you divorced? I can’t recall. I’ve been following your current dating story but don’t recall much about your background!

I live in a space that I think is a great size for one person. It’s one bedroom, one bathroom, maybe 650 square feet. There are some couples in the same layout, and I don’t know how they manage! I have enough stuff to easily fill my closets, including a sizable walk-in.

I can be messy, I know it drove my ex nuts because he was very particular. Mostly, I guess it’s the idea of never having my own space again that freaks me out. Like coming home and there’s someone there every single time, and even though I’d presumably love that person, I genuinely like my space and my alone time. I like living by my own schedule and not compromising. And I also wonder about things like, would I even be able to truly be myself living with another person? Even if the person knew what I was like going in, would I absolutely drive him bonkers (or vice versa)?

My relationship with the live-in boyfriend ending was absolutely the right thing for us, but man, that felt so traumatizing at the time. As bad as our relationship was toward the end (and it was so bad!), I somehow never stopped believing he was The One. It’s been a long time, but I wonder if having that experience at a young age colored how I feel now about cohabitation now.

Also, Bumble Guy and I had a nice but all too short brunch date yesterday, and he’s already back on the road until Friday. I’m missing him a little bit tonight (or at least very seriously disappointed we didn’t have more time together). I felt compelled to send him a mushy “I’m glad you’re part of my life right now” text, but held off.

Also as a funny aside, I noticed a note left on Neighbor’s back door today when I took my trash out, stopped to read it like a creeper. It was a super passive aggressive “you’re inconsiderate, please stfu” note that seemed to assume from his lifestyle that he’s in college. HA.

I’ve tried to update this thread twice and both times the response has disappeared after an edit for typos. Let’s see if I can manage to avoid spelling mistakes on attempt number 3!

@Copa – I’ve been married twice. The first time we were 18, in the military, and had orders to different duty stations. Being young and stupid we decided to just get married so we could be stationed together. We stayed together for 5 years before he cheated on me and I divorced him. We have two college age kids and very successfully co-parented them. I adore his new wife and consider them both family. (She also helps me pick out date night outfits!)

#2 was definitely more complicated. We dated for 2 years before we married. After the wedding I found out exactly how much he drank – and when he drank he became abusive. Long and classic abuse story short, I left for the last time when I was heavily pregnant and he put bruises on me. Our son is now 12, and his dad has been sober for 10 years. There I have sole custody and his dad sees him in a supervised manner during the summer and winter break holidays.

I spent a few years after laying my childhood to rest, cutting the toxic family out of my life and figuring out why I made the choices I did with the help of an amazing therapist. Got to the point where I was at peace with the past, content in the present, and hopeful for the future. My baggage is now a manageable carry-on size 🙂

Wasn’t until I had a major health scare and multiple surgeries that I acknowledged the fact that I was missing something. After I got well physically I started dating again. By this point it had been well over a decade since I was involved with someone so it’s been a weird and scary transition.

I’ve been really upfront about my severe aversion to marriage at this point – when the AG and I had the “what are you looking for” convo before we met I told him I was allergic to marriage but was looking for a long term commitment…that I wanted to be the choice someone made every day not because they have to but because they wanted to.

I have a lob too and I love it.
@Copa, we have been texting every day since we went out, we haven’t made any plans yet but have talked about maybe hiking together soon.
I have a date today with another guy from tinder. I swiped right because he said he was looking for “people with pets”. We texted back and forth pictures of our pets and he asked me out for a drink today at a rooftop bar.

@Copa – that’s great! Dude def. doesn’t deserve any space in your head. So much better when you can be just supremely indifferent.

@ale – I’m curious about Pet Guy date as well :).

I’m all excited – the AG has been on the east coast leading a tech/academic summit in this thing he created since Tuesday. He was supposed to go directly to Canada for a tech conference that starts on Monday. Instead he’s coming home reallly late tonight/tomorrow morning and we’re going to hang out Friday night before he heads to Canada early Sunday. Anyone who travels cross country just to hang out with me deserves a homecooked meal at least, so I’m thinking about roasting cornish game hens and maybe making brownies for desert. Haven’t figured out the sides yet though.

I also made a run to Sephora with a friend at lunch and picked up some perfume that just smelled amazing – versace eros pour femme. Between dinner, the perfume and whatever I pull out of the lingerie drawer hopefully he thinks the extra cross continental flights were worth it 🙂

Ok psycho.