DW Community Catch-up Thread
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He is a really nasty, abusive horror show, Ale. Every time you reach out, he delights in hurting you. This time, he was like, “Yes!!!! All right! Ooooh, i can tell her I cheated during our relationship! God, that felt so good. Now let me once again dangle the possibility of getting back together so I can watch her try, and then pull the rug out again.” Seriously, he loves it. And it’s not even about you, it’s about him being a terrible person who likes to manipulate and hurt others. What made you pick up the phone and call him instead of a courtesy text or *nothing*? That’s worth examining. Did you wait until you had your other STI test results back? Or did you just want to call him? This is worth discussing with your therapist, because it looks like you aren’t protecting yourself or acting in your own best interest and maybe even want to get hurt.
I was very fortunate to get my HPV vaccination done shortly after I graduated with my Bachelors, I had way less sex then and was right at my peak. So those who are in their twenties please do, takes like 3 shots over the span of a year I think. Saves you some hassle in the long run.
To back track on @Copa’s story, I absolutely hate it as well when friends think that because you are friends you can shit talk or justify your poor actions in your group with no judgement. That to me is just enabling. Hard to call friends out in the moment, but I have done it before when a couple of my friends were shit talking a girl we used to go to HS with a ‘prude’ just because they found her annoying. Even when I called them out one of them tried to say ‘oh this should be a space that we can do this in.’ No, I am not gonna let you shit talk a sweet person who has literally done you no wrong just so you can vent your own insecurities (I assume).
Ale – I remember your posts about him. I’m so sorry this was how he chose to speak with you. I don’t know that a text would have ended any differently than this call and you did what you had to do.
He’s just a shit sandwich of a person and I’m sorry he was ever in your life. Let him remain as a cautionary tale and lesson learned.
What made you pick up the phone and call him instead of a courtesy text or *nothing*?
I don’t know, I had never done something like this before. Since we still work on the same building and were on “friendly” terms, I thought it was best to do it over a call. And yes, he is a very shitty person. And this wasn’t the first time he’s said he wants to get back together.
Did you wait until you had your other STI test results back? No, since he told me he cheated on me I decided to get tested for everything. This was after the call.
I do actually feel very relieved to know the whole truth now and finally feel that validation that comes with knowing that youre not crazy, that your gut was always right. Follow my gut always is my new mantra.Funny story, I decided to stop dating for a while but on Saturday I bumped into someone from Tinder I dated briefly last year. We were both at the same movie theater watching a movie solo, so we went to get a beer and talked until 3 am. That was fun. I might give that another go.
Anyone have any fun or sweet plans for Valentine’s Day?
My boyfriend & I are celebrating early because of his work schedule. He’s coming to stay with me tomorrow night-Friday. I’m preparing a special meal: he’s been wanting to try the new vegan prosciutto and other plant-based fancy “meat” that’s just come out but he hasn’t been able to find in a grocery store near him. I’m going to make a plant based charcuterie plate for when he comes in, and then jackfruit “crab” cakes from Trader Joe’s and some rosemary roasted vegetables, and then chocolate dipped strawberries for dessert. There’s this new place that opened up in our area called “Cinnaholic” that sells custom cinnamon rolls with various toppings and they’re all vegan, so I’m getting some of those tomorrow for us to have for breakfast the next day. I’m really excited to surprise him.
On Thursday it’s supposed to rain, so I think we’re going to go to the new movie theater that serves food and watch 1917, which he’s really wanted to see. He told me it was up to me what we do. He doesn’t really like V-Day (I don’t like that it’s “manufactured” but I think it’s a nice excuse to celebrate and have special treats), so it should be fun. We haven’t seen each other in more than a week because of his work schedule and volunteering and my open mics, so it should be a nice time to reconnect. <3
The dog is doing his trial sleepover at his daycare place, to prep for when we go to California in April, so we’re going out to dinner and try to make it out dancing. This will be Saturday night though. On Thursday night I have to work late for a focus group ideation thing so I’ll be tired Friday.
Hey, don’t let him get away with “I don’t care about Valentines Day so you do all the planning.” He can not care about the marketing aspect of it (I love marketing, it keeps the economy going and is my personal bread and butter, but whatever), and still want to make an effort to show you he loves you. Are flowers, chocolates, books, lube, scarves, and eyeshadow palettes vegan?
We’re not big into Valentine’s Day. We’ll stay home, cook a nice meal and open one of our more expensive bottles of wine.
I have a major deadline Friday at 5 and the writers are behind so my next two days are going to suck.
The husband is leaving for a dude’s trip Saturday. I’m looking forward to a me day Sat/Sun and have yoga, nails, dinner with friends Saturday and brunch with another friend Sunday lined up.
I might make my brown butter rice Kristine treats. We’ll see.
On Thursday, I’m doing a galentine’s chocolate and wine stroll after work.
BG works in the healthcare IT/software space and a major hospital just integrated their software and BG’s team has to provide 24/7 support for this week and the next two. He normally works 9-5, but his schedule is all kinds of messed up right now. I feel like I’m barely going to see him before our trip in a few weeks. He’s been working third shift the past three nights, has tonight off, then works 2 p.m. to midnight tomorrow and Friday. We’re not big into Valentine’s Day, either, but right now I’m planning to cook a nice dinner on Saturday so we can have a lower-key night in. Thinking scallops and risotto, wine, and I’m planning to bake a carrot cake on Friday night. I got him a waterproof phone case for our trip as a small gift.
