DW Community Catch-up Thread

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    June 29, 2020 at 10:52 am #891193

    I’d also ignore her. A LOT of people have had their wedding plans altered because of COVID. Some people’s plans have been more F’ed than others. But all of them have figured out how to move past their disappointment, either by getting married however they can and planning a party for a later date or simply postponing their full event until next year. It’s ok to be disappointed. But she’s looking for a reaction and she’ll hopefully stop if people stop giving it to her.

    My boyfriend’s mom was apparently telling my boyfriend recently that she’s very worried all wedding venues are going to be filled up through 2022 with the number of people needing to push their weddings out, and what if we want to get married in a year or two and everything’s booked up!? Which made me laugh aloud. I told him I have a feeling his mom would be horrified by my more casual idea of what a wedding can look like.

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    Fyodor
    June 29, 2020 at 1:40 pm #891210

    The other thing is that even if we get a vaccine things may not flip back to normal immediately. We could get a vaccine that protects 80 percent of people or significantly reduces the severity. And life would be a lot safer and easier, but it’s not like the risk is fully gone. Or it could be that this period kind of gets people to rethink the assumption that they need to have enormously expensive 200 person weddings and we shift to more casual and intimate weddings.

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    Fyodor
    June 29, 2020 at 1:43 pm #891212

    The Bride of Fyodor’s brother got married last week with the bride’s parents and the Bride’s parents. The mayor of their town is a friend of his and conducted the wedding. Their reception got rescheduled for next June so hopefully it will be safe by then.

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    June 29, 2020 at 1:50 pm #891214

    Ugh that’s frustrating Ver. I’d grin and bear it but that’s just me.

    Other wedding stuff, my bf is a groomsman for a wedding at the end of July. Right now where we are a ceremony can have 50 people outside, but all gatherings including receptions is 10, and with physical distancing. His friend is still at this point having a 30 person (14 households) wedding incl caterers and staff, all outside. The reception is still technically not allowed. It’s so easy to be judgmental and I understand they still want to get married but it seems they are still having a regular wedding despite yes not the one they imagined. They are having a big party for their one year anniversary as many others are.

    My bf has made the decision not to be a groomsman. There is just too much interaction including photos of the wedding party between the ceremony and the reception. I don’t know how they’ll physically distance for photos, other than the groom and bride can be together heh. I feel for my BFF as this is his good friend. My bf is immunocompromised but even if he weren’t I’d be wary. He is also not attending the bachelor party which involves an overnight trip of 10 in a cabin. We are hoping to attend the ceremony and that’ll be a good “compromise”.

    Honestly the risk of transmission is low. Nobody at the wedding will probably haBe COVID based on where we are, fortunately But if somebody does have it, you’d likely get it at the reception.

    Also @copa, heh, I admit that thought crossed my mind re venues… but I feel lucky I don’t have to stress now about rescheduling!

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    June 30, 2020 at 11:02 am #891294

    Would not have even occurred to me that there may be a venue “shortage.” I’m not concerned about it whatsoever but I’m starting to feel a lot of pressure from BG’s family (his mom mostly) to get married and have her grandkids. I’d like to get married but don’t feel like I’m in any huge rush, and I’m on the fence about kids. BG knows both of these things, we’ve discussed both subjects, and is okay with it… but as the woman in the relationship I feel like I’m the one on the receiving end of all the nosey questions. My parents have never put any pressure on me to date, settle down, procreate, whatever so this is pretty new to me and it’s honestly making me pretty anxious.

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    Fyodor
    June 30, 2020 at 11:05 am #891295

    Everyone loves new babies that they don’t have to take care of.

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    Fyodor
    June 30, 2020 at 11:16 am #891296

    Your boyfriend should intervene and get her to stop.

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    June 30, 2020 at 11:16 am #891297

    Truth @Fyodor.

    @Copa, the boyfriend needs to start running interference with his mom. That’s annoying. If my MIL ever asked me about kids or anything, I would have told the husband to shut that down immediately. Actually, I don’t have a problem with shutting it down.

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    Fyodor
    June 30, 2020 at 11:17 am #891298

    Tell her that you and your boyfriend only enjoy [fill in non-procreative sex act] and thus you’ll need to save up for IVF.

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    June 30, 2020 at 11:47 am #891306

    Yeah that’s not cool. You aren’t even married yet and her “in law” and even if you were.

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    June 30, 2020 at 11:57 am #891308

    LOL @Fyodor. That’d actually be hilarious.

    To his mom’s credit, she’s never said anything direct to me about kids. But she very much seems to think everyone wants what she wanted in life (marriage and kids) and has made some comments like, “Oh, X is always different when they’re your own kids.” I’m not sure how she’d react to hear that kids are not a definite for me/us. Anyway, I generally like her a lot but after a glass of wine she’ll start making thinly veiled comments about marriage and generally speaking, more and more people ask me about what’s next when I’m just trying to enjoy each stage as it comes. We saw his brother and SIL on Saturday for a BBQ and his SIL and I were laughing about it a little and SIL joked that she thinks the boyfriend’s mom spends 23 hours of her day thinking about our potential wedding.

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    July 23, 2020 at 10:41 am #903582

    Tomorrow this thread turns 5 years old!!! Thanks for keeping this thread alive for so long. I’m in such a different spot than I was five years ago! How many of us have found our partners in that time?

    Sister in law has gone back to hating me as I mentioned previously. Her wedding has been rescheduled for April 2021 and she’s demanding to know now how many night we are staying at the resort. She wants us there for a whole week. We originally said two nights because that’s what we can afford, we don’t want to use too much PTO because we are trying to have a baby, and along that vein we are also saving money for said future baby.

    That was unacceptable to her and she called my husband and demanded to know why we are only staying two nights and insisted her father would pay for everything for us if cost was a problem. She then told him she thinks we are going to say we are going to the wedding and then cancel at the last minute on her – which we have zero intention to do. My husband asked her why she thought that and she said “veritek has never liked me, she hates me and we’re never going to be best friends.”

    Unfortunately my husband did not take that opportunity to point out all the things I’ve done to try and repair our relationship (offering to throw a bridal shower, getting her an engagement and wedding gift for a wedding that hasn’t’ happened, apologized for upsetting her by getting engaged ::eyeroll:: and making her a cake the week of their original wedding date.) So apparently I’m the reason we aren’t friends even though I’ve been the family whipping boy since we got engaged?

    Anyhow, I’m pretty much done with her and my husband can go to this wedding without me if need be. We had a chemical pregnancy last month. And this is the first time I’ve actually written that out or said it out loud. And now I’m all about self preservation and and I’m not going to risk it if we get pregnant again going to a fucking covid hot spot to spend a week with someone that has treated me so poorly since we got engaged and couldnt’ be bothered to show any sympathy to us when our wedding was ruined by the pandemic too.

    The good news is, our three year dating anniversary is on Sunday and we are trying to come up with a covid safe way to celebrate. Any suggestions for a fun at home date? Fun recipes or good new movies to stream at home and pretend we are on a movie date?

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DW Community Catch-up Thread

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